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Was there not any discussion of professional boundaries in your nursing program? This is wayyyy out of line and a really bad idea. A general "quick & dirty" rule for deciding about questionable professional situations/activities is that, if you wouldn't do it in front of your boss and coworkers, you shouldn't do it at all. Your feeling that you should keep this secret from everyone, including your husband, should be all the indication you need that you shouldn't be doing this.

It is the responsibility of your clients to figure out a social and sobriety support network on the "outside" once they leave your program. Presumably (in my experience working in chemical dependency treatment), that is something that was discussed with them while they were in the program. Your relationship with them ends (should end) when they complete your program and move on. You are not "helping" any of these clients; you are keeping them from taking the steps they need to take to move forward and continue working on their sobriety.

I really encourage you to stop this practice immediately; end the relationships you have already formed, and do not start this with any new clients going forward. If your employer finds out about this, there is a good chance you would be fired.

Wherever I've worked has had a P&P in place that prohibits us from having outside contact with patients for a set period of time, usually a year or so. This doesn't mean we can't say Hello and briefly chat with a patient who approaches us (note the italics) in the community, but as far as us initiating contact outside of work and/or getting involved in their lives, that's a no-no.

You're not horrible in wanting to see that the patient is doing well. However, your actions are ethically questionable and you are crossing a nurse/patient boundary...and doing that can lead to a lot of problems. Forget about the fact that you are not really aiding them in their recovery. Forget about the fact that you are risking your marriage. If something happens to this patient--say they relapse and OD--and your relationship with them is discovered, you may be considered liable in some fashion (and we are a litigation-happy country). You will become a hot topic of gossip. You could lose your credibility at work, and possibly even lose your job. You could be reported to the BON. Or all of the above.

You need to question why you feel compelled to do this. IMO, I'd make an appointment with a therapist or other professional to help you figure that out. And I'd stop doing this IMMEDIATELY.