Confused Son Adhd???

brandy119 · Apr 3, 2005

I just want to say thank you to everyone for all the responses and advice. This website has been wonderful for me . Whether it's related to school, or personal issues everyone seems so kind here. I will definitly check into a psychiatrist and get a second opinion. I guess being a parent and me taking my child to a psychiatrist kind of makes me feel like I failed somehwhere as a parent. I do not believe it is all associated with ADHD which the DR and teacher want to make it. I feel there may be other things going on with him as far as sibling rivalry. My two boys are 4 years apart, and they do not seem to get along at all. And my older son seems to have so much anger built up inside him towards his lil brother. I do feel I am yelling at him more only becuz he is older, and I am now starting to believe it may be my fault on how he is acting. They are like day and night these two. Where my youngest is very loving and cuddly and my oldest is withdrawn to me, and I feel when where alone together I don't really know how to act with him. Sounds strange doesn't it. I know that before I will put him on med's I actually feel maybe we all need some family therapy and I have to put away my feelings of failing as amother and try to fix this. I know I kind of went off the subject, but I guess I'm asking for more advice as far as anyone dealing with sibling rivalry. People say it will get better, but all they do is fight. Does it end at a certain age. They are 10 and 6.

Thanks to all of you, again your support is great

live4today, RN · Apr 3, 2005

((((((Brandy))))))) To some extent, sibling rivalry never ends. Even after children are adults, sibling rivalry can and often does continue. I see it all the time in my own family members, in friends families, and hear about it from others I come across. You are a good mother as evidenced by your willingness to ask questions, to seek help for your son and the sibling rivalry you see. You are a good mother because you acknowledge your own uncomfortable edge with your older son. You are definitely on the right track to healing your family's challenges (and that is what they are...challenges). Give yourself a hug and a pat on the back for not closing your eyes to the needs of your family, and being willing to seek professional counseling to make it better. :kiss Motherhood is NOT an easy occupation. Don't be so hard on yourself either. None of us are born with a degree in raising kids. :wink2:

expatnurse · Apr 3, 2005

Well my child who is 10 was having few problems as far as focusing and remaining quiet during quiet time in class. Which to me seems like most kids. So his teacher recommended us filling out forms for the ADHD quiestionaire. So we both did and I took to his DR, so to make short he prescribed me Concerta. I did alot of research on all that medication for ADHD and I just can't bring myself to give it to him. I don't want my son exposed drugs. It has so many side effects, and he's not doing terribly bad at school at all. Am I a bad mom for not giving it to him? Will it really help, I was thinking of looking into natural herbal medicine instead. I am just confused looking for anyone who has been in my shoes.

i am writting as someone who has ADHD. I will say I have not always taken meds. I feel that people must learn to deal with themselves the way they are first. Do what you feel is best. I can say from experience that it is larger issue than just can't sit still in class. I will say that meds. really help me however I am thankful that I was able to decide as an adult to have them therefore I can really know the difference and really am able to deceide yes it helps or no it isn't. You as your childs parent know your child best. The question I would ask myself if someone said that to me is have I ever felt my child had a problem before this point. good luck

tylerlvn · Apr 3, 2005

I have a 8 years old son with ADHD who takes concerta daily. I have him on the lowest dose possible 18mg. It has been a God spend for me. Before he started the medicine he did OK in school. His teacher said he just did not seem to listen - very easlily distracted. At home he was hyper but, it was not really a problem. I would just send him to play, ride his bike ect. When the Dr. first put him on it he prescribed 36mg - HE WAS LIKE A ZOMBIE! After ajusting the strength though he is doing great. He is now a straight A student and his teacher has already called me for a conference and thinks he needs to be in honors classes next year because she thinks he needs more challeging work. He still has alot of energy and plays little league and different sports. It really has not changed him except now he is alot more focused. Medicine for ADHD is not always a bad thing just do alot of research and if he needs it put him on the very lowest effective dose.

PS: I hope this post makes sense. My 12 shift turned into 14 and I am a zombie. Good luck on whatever you decide. It is a hard decision.

Morgan314 · May 24, 2005

Well my child who is 10 was having few problems as far as focusing and remaining quiet during quiet time in class. Which to me seems like most kids. So his teacher recommended us filling out forms for the ADHD quiestionaire. So we both did and I took to his DR, so to make short he prescribed me Concerta. I did alot of research on all that medication for ADHD and I just can't bring myself to give it to him. I don't want my son exposed drugs. It has so many side effects, and he's not doing terribly bad at school at all. Am I a bad mom for not giving it to him? Will it really help, I was thinking of looking into natural herbal medicine instead. I am just confused looking for anyone who has been in my shoes.

As an adult with ADD (inattentive type), finally being diagnosed and getting on medication has improved my life 100%. I knew my daughter had symptoms of ADD, but her pediatrician insisted on an evaluation by a psychologist before considering medication. The pediatrician reviewed the evaluation, then admitted the only true way to diagnose ADD is a trial of medication, and prescribed Adderall. After the first dose, my kid fell asleep. She has been on the medication several years now, and is doing much better in school. She takes the medication in the mornings, and it has worn off by the time she gets home, and we have the option of giving her a half dose to assist with her staying focussed on homework. I wish I had had medication when I was in school.

NancyNursz71 · Aug 3, 2005

Why do so many people have problems with ADHD meds? If your child has seizures or Type II diabetes, you'd medicate to control it in spite of the side effects. Studies have shown that untreated ADHD causes major problems later in life: poor self-esteem from years of never quite fitting the mold, high-risk behaviors, substance abuse, problems in intimate relationships, difficulty keeping a job . . . I have the disorder and both of my children have it as well. I may have made much better choices in my teens/ young adulthood if I had been treated for my impulsivity. Yes, there are side-effects. There are side-effects with ibuprofen and antibiotics too. Meds alone are not the answer, but it gives you the ability to slow down, think before you speak, and keep some semblance of organization in your life. Keep in mind that these drugs are STIMULANTS and if you are not ADHD, you sure as heck show the effects of a stim. I can sleep much better after drinking full-test coffee, it also helps me focus and maintain my calm. I also know that "gifted" children are misdiagnosed with ADHD-- they are restless because they are bored silly. One of the kids in my son's class was treated for ADHD and then REALLY bounced off the walls. Ooops, he was just incredibly intelligent and was given more stimulating assignments. The book Driven to Distraction provides some insight into the ADHD population in the US. This country was built by people who left everything behind and came to an unknown wilderness-- the people most likely to take this risk may have had issues with impulsivity. When you think about it, it does make sense.

TRichter · Aug 8, 2005

I have a son, now 20 years old, from the time he was two we had problems. He was kicked out of private schools for disrupting the class. By the end of first grade he could not write his name nor read. He couldn't sit still long enough for you to read him a short story. We had him tested by a specialist who only works with these type of children. He labeled my son Bipolar, suicidal, homicidal, HDHD, with a hand to eye problem ( what he saw on paper was getting scrabled on the way to the brain). by the age of 9 my son had tried to commit suicide three times. Every doctor we saw, and it was a large number, said Ritalin. I refused after reading all the literature for the exact same reasons you did. We ended up highering a school advicate, he then went to a special school, without meds from the third grade throughthe nineth grade. I won't get into all the physical problems that also came with these diagnoses. Eventually we foun a behavioral specialist and a pyschiatrist that agreed with me. Comes to find out these behavioral changes were due to mild seizures, extremely rare. Place don a low dose of Tegratol for 3.5 years. Now he is in collegewith a 3.0 GPA, finished high school in a regular high school. People that new him when he was young, cant believe the changes.

Stick to your gut feelings. Don't always do it because the DOCTOR said so. Try finding a behavioral specialist first, higher a tutor one night a week. See if one on one work helps. Doctors and schools are to jumpy about medicating kids just so their work is easier. From a mother who has seen almost everything to another, he only has you to fight for him.

QUOTE=brandy119] Well my child who is 10 was having few problems as far as focusing and remaining quiet during quiet time in class. Which to me seems like most kids. So his teacher recommended us filling out forms for the ADHD quiestionaire. So we both did and I took to his DR, so to make short he prescribed me Concerta. I did alot of research on all that medication for ADHD and I just can't bring myself to give it to him. I don't want my son exposed drugs. It has so many side effects, and he's not doing terribly bad at school at all. Am I a bad mom for not giving it to him? Will it really help, I was thinking of looking into natural herbal medicine instead. I am just confused looking for anyone who has been in my shoes.

UnewmeB4 · Aug 8, 2005

All I can tell you is the experience of my nephew. He was probably adhd. He was extremely busy from the get go. He was a handful(and an only child...wonder why?)

He played football, the wrestling, which was the turning point for him. Wrestling, with all the physical endurance was his "cure". He did well in high school(after being held back in 8th grade by his Mom). He finished college. He now has an outdoor job, which is physical. He taught himself to play the guitar in college, and is now a well adjusted young man. Other people I have worked with have their kids in the martial arts, which has made a huge difference for them.

DonnaRN · Aug 8, 2005

Thanks to everyone who posted their experiences here with ADHD. I'm having some behavior issues with my son in day care (age 4-1/2), and I'm afraid he'll be "labeled" without actually considering his needs, personality, intelligence, etc. I appreciate the benefit of your advice and experiences. :)

Donna

Home Health Columnist / Guide · Aug 8, 2005

Why do so many people have problems with ADHD meds? If your child has seizures or Type II diabetes, you'd medicate to control it in spite of the side effects. Studies have shown that untreated ADHD causes major problems later in life: poor self-esteem from years of never quite fitting the mold, high-risk behaviors, substance abuse, problems in intimate relationships, difficulty keeping a job . . . I have the disorder and both of my children have it as well. I may have made much better choices in my teens/ young adulthood if I had been treated for my impulsivity. Yes, there are side-effects. There are side-effects with ibuprofen and antibiotics too. Meds alone are not the answer, but it gives you the ability to slow down, think before you speak, and keep some semblance of organization in your life. Keep in mind that these drugs are STIMULANTS and if you are not ADHD, you sure as heck show the effects of a stim

:yeahthat:

After testing and classroom observation three months apart my youngest son was started on Ritalin at age 6 for focus type ADD by recomendation of our developmental pediatrician. Within a week, even my husband admitted significant improvement in ability to function. At age 8 he told me "Mom, my thoughts are all jumbled in my head, and I don't know which to listen too if I don't take my med". He could tell the difference.

Last year, he weaned himself off the meds. 17 next week, he still has problems completing all aspects of a chore but is functioning much better overall. He's found that writing out step to step lists makes him complete tasks. That's why he wants to be a chef: will have recepies to follow but still allow for experimentation. I've used the anology of a diabetic or hypertensive person will allways need to have health monitored and meds adjusted, so will his ADD treatment need to be periodically monitered/adjusted.

Good luck in whatever decision you make.