condescending attitude perceived when just trying to keep afloat and be detailed?

NocturneNrse · Jan 18, 2011

Don't criticize in public. Always take your orientee aside, in a private area to talk about how he/she could improve. Praise in public, criticize in private.

NocturneNrse · Jan 18, 2011

Also, ask for examples of what is coming across as "condescending", so you know what is meant. You probably don't mean to be that way, probably aren't being condescending, but it's that persons interpretation - just a little clarifying can do wonders.

rntim49 · Jan 18, 2011

How does someone get rid of being seen as condescending when all they are trying to do is help their orientees?

be a little more specific please.

Flo., BSN, RN · Jan 18, 2011

Tone of voice and body language makes a big difference. When you are providing contructive feedback keep your tone and body language as neutral as possible.

dthfytr, ADN, LPN, RN, EMT-B, EMT-I · Jan 18, 2011

You're the teacher, they are orientees. I'm not sure I'd agree that perceived condescension is really a problem. Could it be that some of the orientees are feeling too full of themselves to learn? Put another way, sometimes the squeaky wheel gets the grease. Sometimes the squeaky wheel needs to be replaced!

I approach students and orientees as equals, offer advice, criticize in private, and always tell them that I'm not worried unless they make a mistake I haven't already made myself. Works for me. After 30 years in healthcare, if they don't feel I can teach them anything it doesn't hurt my feelings.

Simply Complicated · Jan 18, 2011

I think a lot of it is tone of voice, the way things are worded, etc. But I think it also depends on if you are told frequently you seem condescending, or is it just one person. Sometimes it is the person complaining who has the problem.

Can you be more specific in what is going on?

morte, LPN, LVN · Jan 18, 2011

I think a lot of it is tone of voice, the way things are worded, etc. But I think it also depends on if you are told frequently you seem condescending, or is it just one person. Sometimes it is the person complaining who has the problem.
Can you be more specific in what is going on?

don't smile overmuch......don't over use humor........try to treat them as you wished to be treated.

rntim49 · Jan 18, 2011

I am not surprised the OP did not descibe specifics, She never replied to their own thread:uhoh3:

I feel many preceptors are overcome with an hollier than thou attitude when orientating a new employee. I had one myself. A ED nurse fresh out of school with a whopping 1 yr experience in nursing. Wow!!! The final straw for me was she thought she needed to quiz me on medication onset, half life and duration and side effects for meds I have pushed more times than days she had been a nurse. :lol2: I finally had enough and told her if I wanted to go back to nursing school again I would, along with politely explaining all the answers she requested. I also told her she would be watching me walk out the door if she kept it up. Thats what she needed to allow her to see us as team mates from that moment on.

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Jan 19, 2011

OP, the best way to approach a new orientee is to ask them first about their background so that you will have some idea of what they already know. Then you ask them what they would like to focus on for the day. Doing these two small things at the beginning of the day sets the tone that you are:

a. Interested in them as a student and wish to built upon their knowledge

b. Giving them some control over what their learning objective will be that day.

I will never forget when I went to a new hospital as an experienced OR nurse and my preceptor was showing me step by step how to insert a foley. I politely told him that I did not need instructions as to HOW to be a nurse, I just needed to know where things were, what the routine was at the hospital, and what the policies were. He was intentionally trying to be condescending. I had been a nurse since he was in high school, for the love of all that is holy!

So let your orientee take the lead in choosing an objective to learn, and to know it cold by the end of the day. Build upon that. Always offer a nugget if you know a better way to do something, but also explain your rationale. I remember the nurses who offered me their pearls of wisdom, and I have always been thankful for their mindset of SHARING knowledge. Adult learners tend to be more motivated by positive reinforcement, so be liberal in your praise.

allnurses Guide · Jan 19, 2011

It's obvious to me that that you care enough to come here and post for the first time over your issue of being misinterpreted when you are trying to help!! Also that you came here not to complain about the orientee but get some outside input into how you might be contributing to the situation instead of blowing it off as "her problem".

Most of the time perceptions are a result of a unique interaction between two completely different personalities - if this person is the only one who perceives you that way, seems like an honest talk would clear up most of it.

If several people complain about the same thing, then you could use constructive feedback from your peers about tone of voice, body language, etc., that you might not be aware of. I tend to appear more confused than I actually am. Sometimes a facial expression comes off as the opposite of what is meant. Sometimes the tone and volume of your voice is what puts people off without our own awareness. Best of luck!