Hey everyone~ I am not a nurse (yet!) but I figured I'd post here because I'm sure that there's a few people that can either relate, or give me some advice.
It's embarrassing to admit, but I wasn't the most socially-skilled child growing up. I was bullied relentlessly and went through a lot of stuff at home, so I ended up withdrawing from people and lost out on learning some key social skills.
I found interaction awkward and tiresome, and I still do now. I've made steps over the years to socialize myself and learn how to interact with others- I've turned into someone that can relate well to most people, and I'm easy to get along with for the most part (I'm not perfect).
...but I'm hitting some snags.
Three years ago I took a job at an amazing facility, and the staff were awesome for the most part. There was a raincloud there that didn't like me from the get-go and I couldn't figure out why; I'd asked her gently if there was anything I'd done etc. and explained that if there was an issue I'd love to work it out... but no dice. She said she didn't have a problem, but still treated me poorly. Other coworkers had mentioned that she'd voiced her displeasure with me during report one day, and she put it down to my supposed "fake energy." I'll admit, I am fast paced in the workplace but I have to be because I was often overloaded with patients due to staff callouts. I was not bouncy, or loud. I had a strong rapport with patients and 99% of the staff, and even under pressure I'd try to stay cheerful. My energy in the workplace was genuine - I loved my job and the people I was fortunate to meet. The colleague who had made the remark was a bit abrasive and some patients clashed with her, but I took her words to heart and tried to tone it down a bit.
Fast forward to today and I work at my local community college as a tutor - our front desk gets a ton of foot traffic and the people that visit my desk often need help with things that don't pertain to tutoring. There's usually a few of us manning the front desk as it can get kinda busy, but if we've got no clients waiting, most staff are either looking stuff up on the computers, or killing time on their phones which is ok since our workplace is pretty relaxed. Sometimes, they get pretty engrossed in their stuff though, but it's not a big deal. Usually I'm studying at the front desk, but I stay aware of the desk - I'll greet people as they come to the desk instead of waiting for them to come to me and break my attention from my books. This sparks interaction between me and the student/client, and I thought this was an OK way of doing things until a workmate accused me of acting superior. Apparently, greeting people as they step to the desk, or offering to walk them to the dept. they need to reach (the college is a pain to navigate) means that I am acting superior to others. This workmate is a bit of a raincloud like the last one, but she's not malicious, just... has a strong personality? I don't know how to describe it. She's nice, but if she was to say "the sky is pink," there's no way you could convince her that it's blue. I'm not overly energetic, but I do act in a welcoming manner - it's my job to help people so I'd better at least act like I want to haha
I don't believe I'm superior - on the contrary, I'm quite the opposite. I'm terrified of looking dumb, and I wish I had more confidence. I'm envious of people who always look so calm and collected on the outside and just seem to socialize with little trouble. At the same time I'm wondering that if I did have more confidence, then more people would accuse me of acting superior... I'm at a loss.
I don't want to be one of those people who are like "Oh they'll get over it, it's their problem not mine." because surely if this keeps coming up then:
a) I'm just really unfortunate, or
b) I am the issue And I'm honestly not sure which one of these it is.
I'm scared that this is going to come up after graduation, especially in a high stress environment. I've already signed up for some extra communication courses at my college so that I can develop my communication skills more as there's only so much I can effectively teach myself.
So I guess now that I've written you all a novel, I want to ask if there are other nurses out there that have faced similar challenges, and if so, were you able to overcome them? Does it affect you now in the workplace?
