Colonoscopy Jokes

by pagandeva2000 pagandeva2000, LPN Member Nurse

Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Comments by patients during Colonoscopies

Colonoscopies are no joke , but these comments during the exam were quite

humorous..... A physician claimed that the following are actual comments

made by his patients (predominately male) while he was performing their


1. "Take it easy, Doc. You're boldly going where no man has gone before!

2. "Find Amelia Earhart yet?"

3. "Can you hear me NOW?"

4. "Are we there yet? Are we there yet? Are we there yet?"

5. "You know, in Arkansas, we're now legally married."

6. "Any sign of the trapped miners, Chief?"

7. "You put your left hand in, you take your left hand out..."

8. "Hey! Now I know how a Muppet feels!"

9. "If your hand doesn't fit, you must quit!

10. "Hey Doc, let me know if you find my dignity."

11. "You used to be an executive at Enron, didn't you?"

12. "Boy, now I know why I am not gay."

And the best one of all...

13. "Could you write a note for my wife saying that my head is not up



donsterRN, ASN, BSN

Specializes in Cardiac Care. Has 10 years experience. 2,558 Posts

Funny stuff!



Specializes in acute care. 1,237 Posts




Specializes in Med/Surg. Has 1 years experience. 110 Posts

Too funny!! :lol2:

Mustang Sally

Mustang Sally

33 Posts

My mom and dad had "his and hers" colonoscopies last week. My mom also had an upper GI. We told the doc to make sure he doesn't get the scopes confused and to do the upper GI first...just in case!

Then, when it was my dad's turn...he yells, "Here comes the Choo-Choo" right when the dr. started! How funny!!!

suzy253, RN

Specializes in Telemetry/Med Surg. 3,815 Posts

Good ones!



Specializes in surgical nursing, trauma nursing. Has 5 years experience. 21 Posts

funny :lol2:



Specializes in medical and agency, Emergency last 3yrs. Has 16 years experience. 18 Posts

wow just what i need in the middle of a night shift.


Diary/Dairy, RN

1,785 Posts

LOL - thanks for the laughs!!!



Specializes in Pediatric home care.. Has 5 years experience. 19 Posts

your jokes stink, get it? stink. :uhoh21:

This topic is now closed to further replies.