What do you guys know (not think, not opine ) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
I co-slept with all of mine, and Dr. Sears (whom I greatly admire) recommends it, but I never hear anything but bad things about it. When my infant daughter was hospitalized the nurses didn't want me to sleep with her on my cot. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.
Is co-sleeping dangerous because we westerners don't tend to sleep on mats on the floor? Can its dangers be mitigated in some way? Or is the danger a bit of hype.
What people against co-sleeping don't realize is that it is very hard to roll over on a baby when you and your spouse are teetering on opposite edges of a KING size bed because said baby is stretched out lengthwise across the bed with arms extended above his head and even toes are stretched out to deny his parents any room.:roll Can you tell how I woke up this morning! With my two year olds head in my side and his toes digging into my husbands side. But he is sooo cute.
Ok... I have not read the thread. But has anyone bought a new bed (matress, frame, or headboard?) lately? I bought a set last month and there were some pretty graphic illustrations with babies stuck between mattress and headboard with legs up, hanging off the bed, being smothered by an adults arm while asleep, and suffocating by laying face down on the mattress / bedding. that turned my husband off to co-sleeping immediately.
At risk of getting flamed here;) , I really think we need to take all of our supposed "guidelines" (AAP and all the others...) and use our own critical thinking when we are looking at a parenting issue and not a health issue. For me, co-sleeping was much safer for my children. I am a VERY HEAVY SLEEPER! Now, you say, "how can a heavy sleeper say it is safer for her to sleep with her children?" I can answer that! I fall asleep anywhere when I am tired, including rocking chairs - especially when I am breastfeeding. I HAVE dropped a child to the floor while nursing in a rocker! I have NEVER dropped a baby from a safely positioned bed and I have certainly never rolled on my babies. I do sleep soundly, but I always wake in the same position WHEN MY CHILDREN ARE NEXT TO ME. Not when they are not. I have back problems and frequently change positions in my sleep when my babies are not with me in bed. When they are, however, I wake up in extreme pain from being in one position for two or three hours. So, although I truthfully do not really "enjoy" co-sleeping (due to the pain issues) for my children it is much safer in bed with me when I am tired instead of up in a rocking chair! I do always keep my babies between me and the wall, because my husband moves a lot in his sleep regardless of the presence of a baby.
Anyway, I have issues with using the banket "guidelines" of any medical recommendation board over critical thinking and individual situations. Look at all the times the recommendations have changed through the years!!!
I had the same experience...dropped my baby while nursing in the rocker b/c I was so overexhausted from traipsing back and forth to the nursery all night because I was determined not to co-sleep. I wish I would have just accepted sooner that everyone would get more sleep and be better rested in the same bed. And FWIW, my now 2-yr. old and 5 yr. old are great sleepers, all night, in their own beds.
Pregnant now and planning to use a co-sleeper (Arm's Length brand). My common sense tells me that (for our family) cosleeping isn't safe. We have a soft mattress with a faux down top and a big fluffy comforter. I'm not concerned at all about rolling on the baby, but more about the actual bed environment. Most people fear rolling on the baby, but I think there is a greater chance of the bed being the enemy, not the parent. If the parent(s) don't mind a firm matress and no fluffy blankets, then I think it would be safer.
What do you guys know about the true risks of co-sleeping.I co-slept with all of mine. I hear nurses warning new mothers against it. What confuses me is that in the anti-SIDS recommendations they advise against co-sleeping, though my understanding is that SIDS is, by definition, *not* suffocation.Has anyone seen any studies?
I have to respectfully disagree with you. I worked OB/GYN for 12 years and during those 12 years, two of babies born on our floor died in bed with their parents who did not roll over on them but one child ended up suffocated by the covers and the other by a too soft mattress. Parents have the right to put their children to bed however they wish. I personally would not ever risk accidently killing my child. SIDS through my understanding has to do with respiratory system weakness or defect.
That was the best article I've read in a long long time. Thank you so much for posting the link.
The crux for me is the following:
"I don't begrudge Ferber the right to preach Ferberization or parents who prefer sleeping sans child the right to practice it. Live and let live. What's annoying is the refusal of Ferber and other experts to reciprocate my magnanimity. They act as if parents like me are derelict".
If you follow the safe co-sleeping rules - you won't have a problem. The deaths are attributed to mistakes made by parents.
I will, to my grave, continue to teach parents how to safely do something millions of parents already do.
If they don't want to, cool. If they do, then they have the right info.
Let those of us who choose this method of sleeping, and do it safely, alone.
I have to respectfully disagree with you. I worked OB/GYN for 12 years and during those 12 years, two of babies born on our floor died in bed with their parents who did not roll over on them but one child ended up suffocated by the covers and the other by a too soft mattress. Parents have the right to put their children to bed however they wish. I personally would not ever risk accidently killing my child. SIDS through my understanding has to do with respiratory system weakness or defect.
Unfortunately, those parents may not have had the correct information - all the more reason to educate.
Co-sleeping is hardly something to be characterized as you put it:
"I personally would not ever risk accidently killing my child". That is an unfair statement.
SIDS is, as you said, not suffocation. The deaths attributed to co-sleeping are not SIDS and it is unfair of the media to continue to portray it that way.
You're welcome. I just came across that article, thought it was great. I don't have babies yet, so I don't know what I'll do once I'm at that point. But I do hear this debate quite often and just never understood why people can't just let people raise their kids how they want to. If you don't want to co-sleep, then don't. But don't shame others for doing it.
I semi-co slept with my youngest only, and I really did enjoy it. He always started off in the crib, which was right next to my bed. When he would wake up to be nursed, my husband would bring him to me (after he changed the diaper--it was great), then the baby settled in with us for the night. One time, I was so exhausted that when I woke up, I couldn't find him ( I thought maybe he was under the blanket or on the floor). I was in a total panic, frantically searching in and under the bed, when my husband calmly asked me what I was doing. I yelled, "I lost the baby!!" And, then he told me that he put him back in the crib because I fell asleep and the baby was trying to nurse his back :). Ever since then, I am a very light sleeper!
I semi-co slept with my youngest only, and I really did enjoy it. He always started off in the crib, which was right next to my bed. When he would wake up to be nursed, my husband would bring him to me (after he changed the diaper--it was great), then the baby settled in with us for the night. One time, I was so exhausted that when I woke up, I couldn't find him ( I thought maybe he was under the blanket or on the floor). I was in a total panic, frantically searching in and under the bed, when my husband calmly asked me what I was doing. I yelled, "I lost the baby!!" And, then he told me that he put him back in the crib because I fell asleep and the baby was trying to nurse his back :). Ever since then, I am a very light sleeper!
That is funny - :)
I remember my son being held by his 75 year old grandmother and trying to nurse. Hey, rooting is a normal reflex . . . .:)
) about the true risks of co-sleeping.
ayndim
462 Posts
What people against co-sleeping don't realize is that it is very hard to roll over on a baby when you and your spouse are teetering on opposite edges of a KING size bed because said baby is stretched out lengthwise across the bed with arms extended above his head and even toes are stretched out to deny his parents any room.:roll Can you tell how I woke up this morning! With my two year olds head in my side and his toes digging into my husbands side. But he is sooo cute.