CMA playing "Nurse Manager?" CMA boundaries? NPD?

Nurses General Nursing

Published

**I mean no disrespect to CMAs, and would really appreciate your input.

I recently interviewed at a Peds office I worked at from mid-90s to early-00's. Many changes, but 3-4 providers + 3-4 remaining staff greeted me with big hugs and "great-to-see-you's." It was so heart-warming?especially after a few several (personal & professional) life-changing punches to the throat!

My experience and 2 thumbs up from nearly a third of the staff make me pretty confident I'm a shoo-in. Especially since they've been "urgently hiring," for 2 openings, for a few weeks.

I was so excited at the thought of working with people that I knew wouldn't plunge a knife in my back or mess with my head. BTW: I'm not paranoid, I'm very self aware and honest...a painfully earned "gift" that few people are comfortable with, and definitely don't want to talk about.

Niggles:

"Office Manager"/MHA believes in full transparency, so he mentions some turn-over issues they're working through, then says "so-n-so is a CMA...my right hand...but only makes the schedule...are you OK with that?" I wanted to say "I was until you asked." In hindsight I recognize his attempts to describe a CMA with some great attributes that helps with scheduling/ordering/admin stuff, but it didn't/doesn't make sense. At some point he said something like "she's great, I don't know how I'd do it without her."

A fleeting sense of being gas-lit, almost like being sized up for a fresh target, came and went.

We talked about all kinds of stuff, he would ask my opinion or invite me to share my thoughts...I kept thinking too much, too much...then I remembered reading something about people pumping others for information, not because they care about you or your opinion...they stockpile, and use it as ammunition.

Then he said something about discipline, or maybe current problems they're having. I was mostly paying attention until he said "....me or 'Right Hand'."

THAT got my full attention, as I was getting the distinct impression that "Right Hand" had more of a managerial role, than was being let on.

Or maybe I wasn't "catching on" quick enough, because as I was preparing to leave he texted "Right Hand," so we could meet. Thank goodness she didn't respond, as I likely would have stood there, dumbstruck.

It was so strange to hear a grown man with a Master's Degree, speak so highly of a CMA, referring to her as his "Right Hand," almost as his "professional" equal. Maybe you had to be there...?

I can't judge her, and really not even him, but my lower jaw started tingling as we were saying good-bye. I met a lot of people -- old and new -- when we did the tour, but if they weren't at their desk, we just kept going. We didn't even wait or look around for the Dr who's kids I used to babysit.

Only "Right Hand" -- the CMA that makes the schedule, which he and I had already discussed, in detail -- was summoned, "to meet me."

My "BS radar" -- free, with a painfully earned ArmChair degree in Psychology, specializing in NPD -- suggests they came as a "set" or just happened to make a "perfect match." And has me wondering if all the employee turnover/discord is all due to lazy, complacent CMAs with attendance issues...?

What are a CMA's limits/scope/role? In the real-world, preferably...like what's acceptable vs what's no-way-in-h*ll?

I can't judge any who think I'm off-my-rocker, but hand-to-heart, I'll follow up, whether I'm right or wrong...

But based on everything, I smell a[n] [ove]RAT[ed], manager wannabe...that's very likely a narcissist...with a weird relationship, but I don't suspect sexual, with her boss.

On 1/14/2020 at 1:45 PM, RenaissanceNurse said:

I can handle every-day-run-of-the-mill-drama, I've de-escalated many a tense situation over the years, even after the abuse ended and being diagnosed with C-PTSD.

It's the moment my jaw starts to tingle, followed a nano-second later by the realization someone's ****** with my head that I struggle with.

I sense that your intentions are good, and I sincerely appreciate it.

I just think it's important to know the difference between drama and mind-************, because the line seems to be growing thinner and thinner.

As someone with cPTSD from a long relationship with a narcissist, I'm going to say I understand what your concern is reading your post but I also think you're guarded and searching for correlations from your past interaction with whomever caused you to experience cPTSD because you're afraid of going through it again.

What caused you to have flashbacks, him saying the CMA is his right hand or the interaction/vibe overall? If you're already feeling uneasy I say pass on this job because you have the potential to leave in the future anyway. Trust your instinct and I hope you're still in therapy. It will take a long time, lots of therapy, and tons of effort in self reflection before you start to feel like your normal self.

Good luck to you.

3 Votes
On 1/16/2020 at 6:39 PM, TriciaJ said:

I think "noted" means "read and acknowledged". "Noted and deep-sixed" means "read and disregarded".

Thanks for the clarification because I was lost on the deep-sixed part.

2 Votes
On 1/14/2020 at 11:24 AM, LibraSunCNM said:

I agree, your post is a lot to unpack. One the one hand, what you've described does make you sound a little paranoid, I'll be honest. I'm not sure how the OM telling you that a CMA makes the schedule equates to being gaslit. On the other hand, I wasn't there and I know how poorly run so many outpatient practices are, with little cliques and power wars and people who shouldn't be managing HCPs doing so. At the end of the day I would follow your gut instinct and pass.

I don't think OP is paranoid. I think she realizes which way the wind is blowing and should not hire on at this place.

They are probably shacking. Or the Manager is pretty incompetent and his head has been turned by this chick. And Chick knows just how to play him. Can't blame her. Who wouldn't rather be doing scheduling and paperwork and being the right hand of The Boss than cleaning poop?

Specializes in Med-Surg, L&D, NB-100+ (home care & office).
On 1/20/2020 at 10:30 PM, klone said:

Wow, you sure are...extra.

And if that's your only input, you sure are nosy, offering unsolicited and unnecessary commentary...for what purpose?

I'm asking you -- and your 14 "likes" -- to leave me alone. I fully understand this is a public forum and you have every right to post whatever you want, but I'm asking civilly, just stop.

I've had enough negativity and strife to last 10 life-times, hence I prefer to avoid it whenever possible.

Specializes in Med-Surg, L&D, NB-100+ (home care & office).

OP here. As I posted, more than 2 weeks ago, my suspicions were accurate.

The line between healthy boundaries/guardedness and paranoia are razor thin for those of us with C/PTSD...and I have to live with it every day of my life. On a good day it can be taxing. Bad days are very dark, stressful and depressing.

Before commenting on my posts, please ask yourself "what is the purpose of my comment?"

If you don't understand where I'm coming from or what I'm saying, ask.

+ Add a Comment