I have a client that is 98 years old with CHF and I have noticed over the past 3-4 weeks she has been failing more each week. Last week she was very anxious and asked me not to leave because she did not want to die alone. I alerted her nurses to her request and they had a sitter sit with her this week. She asked her sitter to leave early this week and has been alone the remainder of the week. I arrived this morning and she had just received her Ativan PO and swallowed it. I went in to talk to her and she was tracking me with her eyes but not talking. She opened her eyes at appropriate times and turned her head to my voice. She started labored breathing and what I was sure what the death rattle so I got my Prof.
Anyway, she came in and we noted mottling of the extremities and asked me to get the rest of our team to come in. We all did assessments on her and then I placed my hand on her shoulder and thanked her for allowing me to learn from her. I told her we were all there and we would not leave she would not die alone and if she wanted to go it was Okay. I am not kidding, she took her last breath and a tear ran down her face and that was it. She was gone at 0830hrs and I started clinicals at 0730. I know what some may say but, I am convinced she waited for me and my assurance I would not let her die alone.
It was our lecture regarding death and grieving telling us to "let them go" that really helped me. I am so sorry for rambling but, this was one of the most profound experiences I have ever had the privileged of having. I feel very blessed to have shared that moment in her life. I just hope that death or birth will never just become everyday experiences for me. I want to experience each one in its greatness or lack thereof.
Just reading this has made me cry I am going to be the biggest emotional reck when I start clinicals. You did a wonderful thing by just being there and letting her know that she had someone by her side. Thanks for sharing with all of us :)
You sound like a very compassionate future nurse who is not afraid to face situations head-on. My CI told me many people tend to cut and run when faced with difficult situations or conversations, and that he can't teach compassion and empathy. You sound like you've got it. What an awesome moment to have been privileged to witness.
Thank you for your story. You gave this lady a great gift by not allowing her to die alone. I have held babies by rights not even old enough to live outside the womb while they died, and it is amazing how even they will 'wait' to be with the right people when they go. I'm not surprised she waited for you.
Specializes in Hospice & Palliative Care, Oncology, M/S.
Thank you for sharing this special moment. I also believe that people will wait for those that they're most comfortable with. Your story brought tears to my eyes.
In my OB clinical I got to see a birth, which was a huge privilege.
I did not see anyone dying in clinical. If I or a person in my clinical group did I would have really appreciated the experience because its just a huge privilege as birth in my opinion even though theres different feelings attached to both.
Theres moments in clinical that make us rethink nursing altogether, and then theres moments like these that make it all worth it.
You and your clinical group gave this woman the gift of your presence when she passed. And she gave you the gift of sharing such a moving experience with her and with each other. And now, with us. You'll never forget her.
rbytsdy
350 Posts
Thank you for sharing. I feel so touched reading that. I have no idea who the patient was or anything but I feel so grateful that you were there.