Just wondering, I am in a clinical group for the summer for clinical 3 days. There is a clique of girls in this clinical group. I went into the break room at the end of clinical and one of them was hitting my bag. My bag is a trendy bag which a lot of ppl carry. When I saw the girl hitting it I picked up the bag and said "That's mine" then sat at the table. The girl said "Oh I thought it was Kate's" (Kate is her friend who is in the click and has a bag similar to mine, since it is a trendy bag. Kate was standing there however.
I am worried about the safety of my personal possessions at this time since I have clinical with this group 3 days a week (its only the third week of school). Should
I let this slide or bring it up to the course coordinator? I am graduating next semester and don't want to make any waves. But, there is palpable tension between me and this group, so I don't want to let it go then have it blow up.
Stupid for saying that to the instructor. It made her look very unprofessional. Also stupid cause she was like a two year old with no sense of shame since she seemed proud after saying it... Stupid also cause she failed a class and is only still in the program cause you're allowed to fail 1 class and make it up. Finally stupid cause she didn't even make it to clinical the next day (maybe she stayed home to avoid me lol). Also stupid since this girl isn't even part of the clique, they don't hang out with her outside of school. The clique and I had beef before for legitimate issues, like i said this girl was basically "left back" and i only met her 2 wks prior and she was 100% following three bar skanks who are obnoxious enough to smoke cigarettes outside of a health science school lol lol lol
plus this girl is over 30 so really should know better, also told the group before clinical her mother was "a *****" which I found quite distasteful... No wonder the clique doesn't invite her on their man hunting outings
I find every comment you have posted thus far distasteful. You have not acted like an adult a single time that I can see. Maybe just maybe these girls are horrible but from what I can tell you instigate quite a bit of it yourself. I assure you there is a reason these girls think it would be a nightmare to work with you. The name calling and degrading remarks... sounds to me like you are jealous of these girls. Either way, I am sure "this clique" have quite a few names for you, so why not just be the bigger person? Congrats on having a significant other that has stuck by you through school, I hope he is on your side and sees the situation the same as you because I do not think many others will. Again, I do think it is unfortunate that you are in this situation and I am not saying you are completely at fault. I am just suggesting that you might want to look at it in a different way. Nursing school is hard enough without dealing with this kind of thing. Good luck.
Can you guys please give me tips on how to get through this with a catty clique? What to do...
Wait.. this is college, right? Not middle school?
My advice to you is to remember that. If they want to act like middle school, you calmly remind yourself that you aren't like that and have outgrown childish behavior, you calmly (not ostentatiously) ignore them, smile sweetly at them, and never, never, never let them know what you think. It will make them crazy and it will make you look like a grown-up. As to that last, fake it 'til you make it.
Unless...you want to keep obsessing about what catty other people think about you as if you were still in middle school. Your call.
Just wanted to say the drama reached a zenith last week but I kept my mouth shut. One girl said something really stupid and unprofessional. I ended up mentioning the bag incident to the professor at that time, because she asked us all what was going on.
Perhaps they don't like you here either. Why, do you suppose? :)
That's not cool. Chiasmus is clearly immature, stubborn, and very much in her own way, but we don't have to say things like that. (We can think it....but we don't have to say it.)
Specializes in M/S, LTC, Corrections, PDN & drug rehab.
That's not cool. Chiasmus is clearly immature, stubborn, and very much in her own way, but we don't have to say things like that. (We can think it....but we don't have to say it.)
I don't think she was trying to be rude but more so point out similarities.
I think it's time we share a secret with the younger generation. Chiasmus, you may not like these girls, you may be jealous of these girls, things may happen that do not seem fair, but I'm guessing that you were never told this: Life isn't fair, and whoever told you it was lied to you.
That's right, life isn't fair. Sometimes you don't get to be a part of the clique, sometimes you are the odd man (or woman) out, sometimes the things we say affect how others react to us. It sucks, but that is life.
While you may want this behavior to end, may want these "mean" girls to change, the fact is the only person you can change is yourself. You can change how you react to them, maybe how you confront them, and how you handle the situation. Growing up is never an easy transition, and I admire anyone who can go through a nursing school program at a young(er) age. I know I wasn't mature in my early twenties, and I am thankful that I waited until later in life to pursue nursing.
If you won't worry about an incident five years from now (and probably won't recall it unless you look up this thread) then it's not important in the grand scheme of things. Most petty stuff isn't important. Repeat this: It is what it is...then let it go.
...you have a ton of comments on here; so I am not so sure my two cents will be beneficial, but here it is.
You remind me a lot of myself, back in the day. Therefore, I will tell you a story about myself. Take it as you please. Hopefully, it will benefit you. I was *that* girl who didn't get along with other people very well. All the cliques had something against me; I did nothing but complain constantly; the world was against me, etc. There I was, going about my business and I had no clue what everyone had against me. I was overly sarcastic and extremely blunt. That, mixed with a poor attitude, it's no wonder nobody wanted to be my friend.
Then, I decided I did truly care for people and wanted to become a nurse. I came onto this board looking for advice and what it meant to be a nurse. Well, my attitude regarding life followed my tone. I got my butt handed to me a number of times, like you are now. I started to hate the idea of nursing because I didn't want to work with this culture. A number of people pointed out my attitude and what they called "immaturity" on this site. I hated them. Then, I started to wonder if I could be the problem. My normal was to point out problems with others and hide behind my sarcasm. I was so scared to be myself bc being the sarcastic, hardcore b***h was easier and less scary. So, what did I do?
I started to look inside myself so I could be the best possible person I could be. I realized I had a lot of flaws. Then, I spent the next year just trying to become more positive. If something bad happened, I would ask myself one simple question: "What can I do, right now, to make this better?" or, "What about this situation have a learned?" That helped me a lot. After practicing this and looking at what I am grateful for daily, I can honestly say I am happier than I have ever been. Bonus: People genuinely like me now! I am involved in volunteer work, but mostly doing things on my own time. I was behind the scenes for about 6 months before I met the other members of the group. Now, people are always telling me what great things they have heard about me or how much everyone says how great I am...
I'll give you an example of sh*t hitting the fan and I was able to come out a better person. I was accepted into a wonderful nursing program, after having to put it on hold for the military. (Husband is active duty army) Then, right before I was about to purchase books, I find out that we have to move states. This means I have to put school off ANOTHER semester and re-apply to a school in a state I have never been to; and the school is extremely competitive. Also, my GPA dropped bc hubs deployed and I chose to focus on my kids more than school, thinking I was already good to go for NS. Old me would have wasted SO MUCH energy complaining about the army, moving, transferring schools, etc. You name it, I would have complained about it until everyone stopped listening. There's a good chance I would have said eff it. Instead, new me (I like to think more along the lines of real me) decided to say, "Okay, what I can do to make this better and what are the benefits?" I was able to take a semester off school and spend more time with my kids and prepare for my husband coming home. Now, I am also able to go to a school that is cheaper, has a higher NCLEX pass rate, and one more semester of clinicals. I could go on, but you get the point.
I am telling you this, and it's a little personal for me, because I am hoping you (and everyone else) can look inside yourselves and admit the faults. Once you do, it may be something you can improve on and be a happier you. I didn't even realize how negative I was! I hate to admit it, but the directness of the nurses on here really helped me see my attitude for what it was. Now, I can see just how beautiful life can be! Also, a lot of women old me would have stayed away from are some of my very best friends. They've taught me so much! Mostly, I have learned true compassion.
Perhaps that "stupid girl" you are referring to has some huge struggles in her home life or maybe she has a learning disability she is too embarrassed to tell anyone about. There was a girl in my micro class who was taking it for the second time with a nursing class she was taking for the second time. She is gorgeous, long legs, athletic, etc. Anyways, I kind of blew her off as young and dumb. Then, I met her in my (and her) favorite coffee shop. I had just taken the lab test and she was studying. I sat down and asked if she'd like some help. We had mutual friends. Ends up, she is dyslexic! Her and I are like soul sisters and she is incredibly bright. Lesson learned.
Anyways, sorry for the novel. I just wanted to share with you what I have learned by being the old me and the benefits of discovering the real me. I sincerely wish you the best of luck. Admitting you need to improve part of your personality is not easy, I know that from experience. But, you can do it if you feel you need to!
LoveNeverDies
133 Posts
I find every comment you have posted thus far distasteful. You have not acted like an adult a single time that I can see. Maybe just maybe these girls are horrible but from what I can tell you instigate quite a bit of it yourself. I assure you there is a reason these girls think it would be a nightmare to work with you. The name calling and degrading remarks... sounds to me like you are jealous of these girls. Either way, I am sure "this clique" have quite a few names for you, so why not just be the bigger person? Congrats on having a significant other that has stuck by you through school, I hope he is on your side and sees the situation the same as you because I do not think many others will. Again, I do think it is unfortunate that you are in this situation and I am not saying you are completely at fault. I am just suggesting that you might want to look at it in a different way. Nursing school is hard enough without dealing with this kind of thing. Good luck.