Can I make it through nursing school being scared of male patients?

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Okay, a short background - I was abused as a kid by my father. Nothing sexual, but emotional and physical abuse galore. As a result, I'm fairly scared of men. Rather...I'm not scared of them as parents/family of patients, but I'd be scared to have them as my own patient just because of how "intimate" you have to get with a lot of patients.

Also, to add - Adult male patients. Like 20, 30+.

I'm more interested in the peds side of nursing - I'd like to become a NICU, PICU, PedsOncology or Peds CVICU nurse (or basically anything in peds/NICU).

I know you do have to deal a lot with adults during nursing school and the like. My question is...is there anyone out there that's been in a similiar position but made it through? :o I'm just afraid I'll have to give up on Nursing because of this - I think I'd love being a peds/NICU nurse, but I may have to change career opportunities if I can't see myself making it through all of this.

Thanks all of you guys in advance. :bowingpur

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Specializes in Gerontology, Med surg, Home Health.

The short answer is no. You'll meet all kinds of people, families. patients...if you freak out because of someone's age or gender you won't make it through. Sounds harsh, perhaps, but honest.

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The short answer is no. You'll meet all kinds of people, families. patients...if you freak out because of someone's age or gender you won't make it through. Sounds harsh, perhaps, but honest.

I've got no problems with any man beyond having them as patients. I don't know how well I'd deal with the "intimacy". ...I just wonder if I'd get used to it.

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I dont think anyone will blame you for being not an intimate nurse if you are act that way around pts. Do things at your pace and be positive and have an open mind! :p

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That is a little concerning.. For me it would have been impossible. Most of my clinicals were at a VA facility (4 semesters) and almost all my patients were male. My program allowed us to pick our own patients so I suppose you could "avoid" having male patients, but I would never recommend this.. as I think it would be an injustice to your education. I cannot tell you if you could make it through nursing school with this fear.. I suppose it would depend on your ability to put your fears aside.. Good luck on your journey.

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Specializes in Occupational health, Corrections, PACU.

I would think no, as the previous post said. I think the more logical approach would be to work on the fear itself. If you are in college, they should have college counselors that are free to meet with. Explain your situation, and set up regular counseling therapy. If you can get a handle on your fear, then perhaps you can make it through. Re: the intimacy...it isn't really like an "intimate" encounter. It is business, and you are a professional doing your job, but yes, it does involve very close contact. But you have to have the maturity level and leave the baggage behind. You will be required to do things like start a foley catheter on a male patient, give bed baths, etc. This is simply part of the necessary training. Hope this helps.

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That's a tough thing, and I'm sorry you had to endure what you did as a kid. I myself also survived sexual abuse as a child, so I can relate.

I honestly have to say I don't associate MANY of the men I care for w/ my own abuser. And I've also come to meet many GOOD men who are very polite and respectful, so it hasn't been a problem. I try to look at them as individuals and try to just "BE THE NURSE" so to speak and focus on their medical issues.

When I run into verbally abusive men, those old tapes will sometimes play, and I do get very nervous. I just try to muddle through it and avoid their rooms as much possible. If I get into something I can't handle, I always know I can go to the charge nurse and have her take over.

There ARE once in a while very perverted men out there who enjoy getting that contact w/ nurses and it is a problem. You have to learn how to put a stop to it and in no uncertain terms, let them know it's not appropriate. You may have been a victim them, but you don't have to be now, as a nurse. I just tell them clearly, "that is not acceptable behavior and I'd like to ask you to stop, now." It has always worked, so far. If it got really out of hand, I'd call security in a heartbeat and/or file charges, and I let them know it.

But really, there is no "intimacy" in nursing. If you clean up a backside, I'd hardly call that intimate. If you place a foley and have to hold onto their member, you're performing a medically related skill/procedure. None of it is "intimate," so I just wouldn't describe it that way. It's caring and nurturing, perhaps, but not intimate. If it's intimate, then YOU may be crossing a line there yourself, KWIM?

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Why not see this experience as an opportunity to get past some of the fears of being around men? I think it would be an injustice for you to drop out of nursing school because of this. That would mean your abusive father is still controlling your life.

As previous posters indicated, check out the student health services to see about mental health help.

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Perhaps you need to decide if pursuing a career in nursing would be worth the work it might take to overcome this. You WILL be required to care for men, and yes there is the issue of intimacy. No one says you have to love it, but you do have to be able to do the job and all that it entails. If you can get right into peds then you only have school to worry about. In the long run though, learning to get through this could prove to be cathartic. In the end only you can determine what you will do. Personally though, I would not allow this man to continue to have that kind of power over me. Not saying it would be easy, but ultimately if you can't help but allow what he has done to continue to shape your future he is still a force to be reckoned with. I hope you can find it within yourself to seize that power from him and do whatever it is you want and be happy with your decisions. All the best to you.

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Specializes in Psych.

My male patients (with possibly two exceptions) have been nothing but nice to me from the word go. They're sick, you're there to help - the only verbal abuse I've gotten is from an ER DON - and even he liked me after I passed his "initiation". FTR - the two grouchos, one ended up only being wiling to work with me for the shift - and the other told me I was the plainest talking nurse he'd ever had... as a compliment.

I graduate in May, and I can't help but think that many of my nursing school clinical experiences have actively improved my ability to be around the general male population WITHOUT fear...

HTH

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I am seeing a therapist, I just don't like to touch on this issue (I'm a pretty jumpy person) because I'm not super-comfortable with her. Or adults in general (AKA, people older than I am by 5+ years). By comfortable, I mean I'm not comfortable getting "close" to them. I'm a pretty empathic person and have worked with kids for 5 years now (and have stunning reviews from all the parents I've dealt with) so I am a people person. Just not a super touchy-feely-share-my-emotions kind of thing.

It's...hard to me, I guess, since he's my dad and I'm stuck in contact with him fairly often. I am pretty sure that if someone tried to hit on me/corner me or anything, though, my reaction would probably not be as professional as I'd like. Though I guess I'd encounter that less as a student nurse?

I'm a registered CNA and have dealt with some men (not very many, since our CI only gave us female patients), so I know I'm fairly uncomfortable with it, but it was an Alzheimer's unit and most of the people were pretty "gone", as it were.

...I do have a few good guy-friends, and one I'm pretty close to (he's about my age, too). I guess I could get used to it, I just wouldn't..really like it at all. I'm glad to see that there's at least one other person who's been through this who made it through. :heartbeat Thanks all of you. I'm just glad to see this profession isn't completely out of my reach. :redbeathe

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I cant relate to your fears, but i do understand. But PLEASE, don't give up on your dream. You will encounter patients at one point or another that are not ideal, but as profesionals it is our job to handle every situation to the best of our ability. If need be, maybe seek counseling to help you cope/conquer your fears, but please never give in.

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