Can I make it through nursing school being scared of male patients?

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Okay, a short background - I was abused as a kid by my father. Nothing sexual, but emotional and physical abuse galore. As a result, I'm fairly scared of men. Rather...I'm not scared of them as parents/family of patients, but I'd be scared to have them as my own patient just because of how "intimate" you have to get with a lot of patients.

Also, to add - Adult male patients. Like 20, 30+.

I'm more interested in the peds side of nursing - I'd like to become a NICU, PICU, PedsOncology or Peds CVICU nurse (or basically anything in peds/NICU).

I know you do have to deal a lot with adults during nursing school and the like. My question is...is there anyone out there that's been in a similiar position but made it through? :o I'm just afraid I'll have to give up on Nursing because of this - I think I'd love being a peds/NICU nurse, but I may have to change career opportunities if I can't see myself making it through all of this.

Thanks all of you guys in advance. :bowingpur

I have been a nurse for 15 years, and have seen some questionable and disorderly conduct by patients. It almost seems a hospital admission gives license for patients to push the limit on conduct issues. Then again, some patients have medical conditions that make them act out. It's part of medicine. If patients were "well patients" they wouldn't be in the hospital, right? 95% of the time, however, misconduct of patients, whether they be male or female is nonexistent. There are those few exceptions. My advice to you is, if you are uncomfortable with an assignment, and you have legitimate reasons, ask for an assignment change. But you can't go through your entire nursing career fearing male patients as you state. There are also legal implications as well. As stated, in my 15 year nursing career, I have yet to place a Foley catheter in a female patient. I always delegate that to another female nurse. I have been physically accosted several times by both male and female patients. I was flushing a central line on one female patients, both hands occupied with the procedure, when I felt her grabbing my privates, making derogatory comments. I finished flushing the line, and informed her that her actions were inappropriate. Use common sense in these situations. Patient care is testy and can be intimidating for new nurses. Touching other peoples bodies can be more of a trial for you, rather than the patient. It's something you will have to overcome, or else resort to an area of nursing that involves non-patient care.

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I'd like to chime in and agree with the other posters who pointed out that although you might be taking care of a man and may have the see or handle his genitals, honestly there is NOTHING intimate about it.

It is normal to feel uncomfortable at the thought of having to touch anyone in their genital area, regardless of gender. The good news is that you will eventually become comfortable in caring for patients of both genders and even get to the point where you are able to make the patient comfortable (trust me, they are usually much more uncomfortable than we are).

Come to think of it, all of the hands on skills can feel very uncomfortable at first, but as your confidence in your skills build you soon realize you can handle anything that comes your way!!

Best wishes to you!!

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Another route to consider might be getting a note from a psychiatrist saying that you had a bona fide reason to avoid adult male patients.. then during your clinicals in adult medicine, you could arrange to only be assigned to women.

For example, there are are few nurses on my unit (a NICU) who have back problems and they only get assigned to small babies. If accomodations are made for working nurses, why can't they be made for student nurses? And if accomodations are made for physical problems, why can't they be made for psychiatric problems?

Mind you, I think this should only be a solution for getting through nursing school clinicals - once you do so, you can always stick to maternal/newborn (or maybe peds, but bear in mind that some "pediatric" patients will be large, sexually mature, and hormone-riddled teenage boys).

Are you in nursing school yet? If so, is there a sane person there that you could talk to about this problem? The problem is that mental illness is just as stigmatized among health professionals as it is in the rest of the world, and admitting to a psychiatric problem may end up causing you more trouble. Do you have a formal diagnosis of PTSD or anything else?

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No, no formal diagnosis beyond ADD and Depression (ain't life fun?). I don't like admitting to it (nor do I take medication) because...I don't believe in taking medication (for myself) since I don't like thinking I "need" it to be human. I'm strange that way, I guess. I do hope (think?) that there's a good chance it'd become less awkward as I had to do it more...I do have this thing where I chatter constantly when nervous, so who knows - maybe my "knack" for conversation will make things easier.

I think I'd be okay with peds teenagers - I've got a little brother (well, he's like twice my size) and deal with sexual harrassment on a fairly daily basis, so I could handle it from teens, just not from adults. I'm also just not comfortable with male anatomy in general - I think that's honestly because (and this sounds really, really weird) I've had no experience with it. Well. Like...adult...stuff. Man, I feel immature... I've babysat for 5+ years, so I've changed tons of diapers. So...man, I'll just shut up right now. :bugeyes:

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I would like to reassure you that the way you feel about having to care for male patients is normal. It is especially understandable if you are young and have not had any experience with men. Trust me though, you would feel just as akward and uncomfortable if you had to perform a pelvic (vagnial) exam on a female even though you own the epuipment.

You've used words such as "intimate" and "sexual harrassment" in your posts and those are completely seperate issues and have really nothing to do with the physical skills and procedures that nurses perform. I'd bet that if you stop associating caring for a paitent (including the genital area) and sexuality you might have an easier time getting through school. You will see that you do have the ability to care for someone despite the fact that you may feel uncomfortable.

I do understand how you feel because I remember feeling that way too. I wasn't at all sure that I would be able to do some of the things that I'd be required to do in order to do my job. What I discovered is that we do what we have to in order to care for our patients. For example, in a trauma situation you can be detatched from the patient and get the job done to save their life. However, if the trauma patient was your spouse, or child there is no way you would be able to perform the same way. Your emotions would be involved. It's just different mentally. Does that make any sense?

Anyhow, don't psych yourself out of a career that you obviously have a passion for. You may discover that as you go through the process of learning the skills and having the support of seasoned nurses you will learn how to handle these situations with grace and professionalism.

As an aside I wonder why you make the distinction between yourself and "adults"? Seems to me that if you are working as a CNA you're not a kid anymore. YOU my dear are an adult, and you get to decide who deserves your trust. There are many wonderful people in this profession. Find a mentor you can really trust and let them in. You can heal your childhood wounds through the realtionships you choose as an adult. (Trust me on this one...I know)

Best wishes to you!

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As an aside I wonder why you make the distinction between yourself and "adults"?

I think this comes from my mother informing me I'm still a teenager since I'm nine-TEEN. :yeah: Plus...I guess I really don't feel like an adult yet. I don't have the responsibilities (don't live on my own) and don't pay for my own schooling (but then again, neither does my family).

...and also, what you say /does/ make sense. :mad: Lots of it. Thank you, all of you. :heartbeat It's definitely not going to be fun (noppeeee) but I don't think it will be brutal torture, either. Maybe someday it'll be "business as usual" as it is to all of you! :lol2:

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Specializes in Family Nurse Practitioner.
No, no formal diagnosis beyond ADD and Depression (ain't life fun?). I don't like admitting to it (nor do I take medication) because...I don't believe in taking medication (for myself) since I don't like thinking I "need" it to be human. I'm strange that way, I guess. I do hope (think?) that there's a good chance it'd become less awkward as I had to do it more...I do have this thing where I chatter constantly when nervous, so who knows - maybe my "knack" for conversation will make things easier.

I'd encourage you to consider taking medications if your doctor suggests. Its my experience that these issues most likely will become worse rather than better when under stress and being hyperverbal isn't exactly a knack for conversation that will win any points in nursing school. I'd also encourage you to explore your issues with men. If its just that you don't feel like dealing with male patients I'd think that was preferrable to someone actually scared of men although either way you'd have to get over it and take whoever you are assigned to in nursing school. FWIW I'd never ask for accomodations in nursing school unless they were the only way someone could make it and if that is the case warn them that its very likely they will be "weeded out". Best of luck to you!

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