Published Aug 20, 2009
gypsygrlisu
6 Posts
Hi all!
I am only in my second semester of nursing school. I am going to be volunteering two or so hours a week for a hospice agency because for some reason I have this strong pull towards that area of nursing. I like the alternative therapies used and I like the idea of getting to know my patients vs in for two days and then discharged. I worked in long term care with mentally disabled men and it was soooooo rewarding I can't imagine not getting to know my patients on a personal level. I have one big question. I am not a religious person. I don't identify with any organized religion and being in hospice I know you will have to deal with religion ALOT! I live in MO right now and I would say the VAST majority of people here are Christian. What do I do if I don't have any solid views on religion....what do I tell people when they ask me about that and where they are going after death? I would never step on toes and assume that one religious view is better than another but I do think I need to come up with something to say to the families. Any advice? even as a voluntgeer I will need to say something.
thanks!
justiceforjoy
172 Posts
You answer honestly, where do I go after death "I don't know" then ask them what they think. They aren't really supposed to ask you about your personal religious views. If they ask you flat out, you just say "My religious views are personal to me. I'm not known to discuss them. How about yourself?"
You don't need to be religious. We aren't here to give patients answers! We are here to encourage them to find them on their own through empathy and active listening. "You feel scared because you're not sure... Where do you think we go after?" Open questions put the ball back into their court.
tewdles, RN
3,156 Posts
I want to support what justiceforjoy wrote...she summed it up nicely. You do not have to be religious..not at all...it is not about us or what we believe. I know very compassionate hospice workers and volunteers who are christian, jewish, hindu, muslim, atheist, agnostic, ... you name it ... they all have something precious to offer, themselves!
On a side note, however, you may discover the importance of your spirituality while working in hospice. As you listen to these remarkable people journey through this portion of their lives you may learn some things about yourself and what you believe about spiritual health and well-being. Keep in mind that spirituality and religion are NOT necessarily the same thing. You will meet many people who are spiritual but not religious.
leslie :-D
11,191 Posts
oh my gosh tewdles, i was just about to post the above.
i am not religious at all, but am probably one of the most spiritual people you'll ever meet.
becoming a hospice nurse, only reinforced my beliefs.
if you are lucky, you will be witness to some mind-boggling, downright incredible experiences.
and as stated, 'our' religions or lack, should never come into play.
tewdles, you are correct about religion and spirituality not being the same.
they really aren't.
religion is learned from an external influence.
spirituality is felt, from an internal one.
the more you get to experience of the latter, the more you will understand its distinctions.
leslie
VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN
22 Articles; 9,996 Posts
What Leslie said. :yeahthat:
That's one of the best descriptions I've ever heard of the difference between spirituality and religion. :yelclap:
Thanks very much for your insighful answers. I am excited about this popportunity--volunteering. In nursing school you really don't get much choice about the clinical experiences you have and this will help me decide where I want to be when I graduate. You all sound like you have had some great experiences! :wink2:
Heogog53
200 Posts
I work in the OR. Lots of patients want to pray before they go into the OR. Some of them bring a huge prayer group/family group with them who will sometimes ask their pre-care or OR nurses to join them. While I am Jewish, have my own beliefs about what's what, I never turn down a request to join them in prayer, even though I am a bit uncomfortable about it, because most of them are pretty fundamentalist Baptists. I join them because I know that prayer can make a difference in how well the patient will do overall, because it is a request from someone in need of that particular service and because I want to help my patient to feel much less anxious, fearful and feel more confidence in the entire surgical staff.
I've had patient's request to pray with the surgeon stop the whole "basic OR routine" dead in its tracks, too. As far as I'm concerned, it is just as valid as having a question for the doc prior to the case; it must be answered. I'm happy to join in that kind of prayer for the reasons mentioned above.
I've also worked with docs who would always be in the OR prior to anesthesia to pray with their patients before every case. I'm ambivilant here, as it feels like he's pushing his private views into other people's private views, but I do understand why most of these docs pray.
At any rate, a prayer request from a patient can be a very tricky request, but I do the best I can to remind myself that if you think about religion and spiritual beliefs as a fairly universal cultural constructs, it doesn't matter which religion it is, because the religious are trying to communicate with Their God/s- and I think we're all looking for the same entity, no matter what official religion label we carry.
I just know that the power of prayer works- and I would never deny that from anyone.
caroladybelle, BSN, RN
5,486 Posts
I wonder what the above has to do with the OP, "Does a hospice nurse have to be religious?"
Just curious.
^ Even though she isn't a "hospice" nurse, she likely deals with people fearing death or families going through a death. I think that post was a great contribution to the discussion of religion in our work environment.
Corpsman2RN
2 Posts
I agree with justiceforjoy. Open questions deflect away from your personal views and return the focus to your client.
Thank you both, for your compliments. I realize that I am "intrusive" here, not being a hospice nurse, at least, not up to making that move, yet.
Carolebellelady, before i was an OR nurse, I was a critical care nurse, a CCU nurse, to be specific. My patients taught me so much about death and dying. I learned when a patient told me that he or she was going to die, that it was going to happen. Period. And that no matter what the diagnosis was, what the doctors did, that person knew it was time to go.
I learned that when patients would tell either their family members or the staff that they'd just been talking with some loved one who had died years before, that they were getting ready to die and cross over to that specific person or people.
Families would sometimes tell stories about how their loved one would be busy for anywhere from a day to several days, making sure that everything was in order, that certain things were taken care of, that loose ends were tidied up. Somehow, these patients KNEW that it was getting to be that time for each one of them, so they did what they had to. When they would end up in CCU, whether it was a tiny MI or a large one, they knew they were leaving this earth for.....some place else. With who, where exactly, and all the other questions people have about the "what happens after we die part", I can't answer.
But all those people, the ones who told us, who talked to their own lost ones, who tidied up their own lives, they all knew and went all that more quietly for it.
Those who refused to move on, who weren't ready, who's families hadn't made peace with the patient's illness were a whole other story. It was almost like a Pullme-Pushyou situation. It was much harder for all of them.
I think as nurses, we all see death or end of life stories unfolding right before our eyes. Sometimes, we can help both the families and the patients, sometimes the patients or families, and sometimes, in the saddest scenarios, we can't help either.
I remember a patient who came to our unit as a full arrest, intubated, with orders for rotating tourniquets, lasix, foley, drips out the waaaazooo. He looked terrible. His family decided after talking to the doctor to make him a DNR. The next day, during visitor's hour, he coded. The family came out yelling for us to do something. We explained the DNR. Some one yelled, " Call the doctor and DO EVERYTHING FOR HIM!!!!" That revoked the DNR. And we did do everything for him-seven times in that one weekend. We absolutely hated it. After that DNR revocation code, his body turned purple from the waist up and pink from the waist down. I'd read about it in books, but had never seen it. It was a very bad sign. But, no matter what anyone said, the family would not let go of him. After that weekend, he was on the vent, a few drips and he wasn't there anymore. We'd broken his ribs, stuck needles into him everywhere to get blood, you name it, we did it. The nurses didn't understand how a family couldn't see what they were doing to him. Finally, he was shipped out of CCU, stable, unresponsive, to a vent room in the hospital. We heard that he survived for three more months, got pneumonia and finally died. Every nurse who'd been there that awful weekend was so glad and so grateful that he'd finally gotten to leave.
So, depsite that I'm not a hosice nurse, I have worked as a hospice nurse as part of my job description. Remember, formal hospice care, as popular and as widely used as it is today was not always looked upon favorably. So we all had to try to bring the palliative, hospice death with dignity message to our patients and families, wherever we found them.
Heogog53...I completely understand and appreciate your closing comment "So we all had to try to bring the palliative, hospice death with dignity message to our patients and families, wherever we found them." How perfect and sadly true. It is unfortunate that even today the scenario you present is NOT UNCOMMON in hospitals across this nation. Death with dignity is often a difficult thing within the traditional medical model when you are in your final months of life.