Broke My 6 Week Contract

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I broke my 6 week contract today. I am still waiting to hear from my recruiter about what kind of consequences I face at this point. Last week I wanted to break the contract and she asked me to give her 2 weeks to avoid a fine charged to the agency. I hesitantly agreed. However, have not been sleeping. Still feeling completely miserable about nursing, and now I am sick. I guess that's not a big surprise. Being the person that I am, I went into work this morning thinking I could make it through my shift despite being sick. I lasted about 2 hours before turning sheet white and running to the bathroom. I think it was a mixture of being sick, my anxiety issues in nursing, and lack of sleep. I was sent to a neuro unit, haven't worked neuro in a looooong time. And the first thing that happens right before I get report, a patient falls. Of course it's going to be my patient. And the charge nurse looks at me and says....i guess you'll figure it out. And this is why I can't do this anymore.....I just can't. I really give props to the nurses that can handle these things day in and day out without one wrinkle in their forehead. It's really time to take care of myself.

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Remember, it's not life or death. This will resolve, one way or the other. Keep us posted and take care of yourself.

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Specializes in multispecialty ICU, SICU including CV.

How long have you been licensed and working? Are these new feelings, or is this the way it's been all along?

I have to say that with the way you are feeling, it doesn't look like you are going to last in inpatient care. If this is new anxiety for you though, maybe you should take a look at that and what you can do about it (make an appointment with someone?) before you call it quits.

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Once you have recovered, I think you might want to consider a regular-type job where you can get a chance to acclimate to your surroundings and job duties. A long term care facility would give you the opportunity to get used to taking care of the same residents day in and day out. Once you have your confidence built up again, you could start looking around for another hospital job. Stay away from the pressures of traveling for awhile, at least until you have your sea legs. JMO

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I have almost 4 years exp. in inpatient care. Mostly tele and step down. I guess I can honestly say Ive had some pretty severe anxiety from the start and hoped that it would fade the more experience I got. And it seems to be just the opposite. Its hard when you spend so much time and money to get into a job you realize isn't right for you. I have confidence in my abilities to think critically and I know I am smart.....I just have gotten to the point of overwhelming anxiety where I feel like everything is falling down on top of me when I step into a hospital and take an assignment. I usually try to talk myself through it, but that has stopped working. I have been offered a case management position at an ins. co. and am going through the background check currently. I just want some form of relief or clarity. I would love to be able to sleep at night and not wake up in the morning anxiety stricken.

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Specializes in Nurse Leader specializing in Labor & Delivery.

I'm sorry you're unhappy. The anxiety you describe is what happens to me when I stop taking my SSRI. I've learned to stop doing that.

Good luck, and consider seeing your PCP to discuss your anxiety issues and what might be some underlying causes. In the meantime, I would suggest that travel nursing is probably not the right fit for you. It takes a cool, unflappable person to be a good travel nurse (something I have realized I am not).

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Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
Remember, it's not life or death. This will resolve, one way or the other. Keep us posted and take care of yourself.

Well, actually it is. Or certainly can be.

That's why I think nurses are so disproportionately afflicted with anxiety issues (my own personal survey:p). You do carry the weight sometimes of life or death, yet work under such extreme conditions.

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Sounds to me that the anxiety has the best of you and you need to see your PCP and possibly a specialist, to deal with this severe health problem, as it is impacting on your life far too much. Best wishes.

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Oh, and I forgot to mention that not sleeping in and of itself, can and will lead to physical and emotional breakdown. I've been down that insomnia road myself and it is no picnic.

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I know I should see someone, but I don't want to just go on meds for this right away. My doctor asked me if I needed a prescription for my anxiety last time I saw him when I got shingles....I just feel like I need to change the thing that is causing the anxiety and hopefully I will start to rehabilitate due to life changes. Maybe that is naive of me, but I would rather not be on meds at this point.

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Specializes in Clinical Research, Outpt Women's Health.

Just switch to non-acute care stuff. That has worked for me for 15 years. You won't need drugs or therapy. It is perfectly OK and normal to find inpatient nursing incredibly distressing. No worries!

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Specializes in med surg.

Sounds to me you would rather sabotage yourself then take care of yourself. You need medication. I suggest you listen to your doctor and the advice on this board and get some.

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