Broke and about to be more broke!

Published

I am just venting but my 4 year old daughter didn't qualify for preK so now she has another year in daycare until she starts kindergarten next year! that's 340 extra a month that we do not have but somehow I know we will make it work but it just stresses me. I've been on summer break working at the daycare to help keep us up but my last day is in two weeks am clinicals start back up. I don't graduate until dec 2013 and I sure wish time would speed up!

I am a male nursing student, father of 3. We are priviledged, because my wife is able to stay at home with the kids. I have my own opinions about this subject.

I have traveled into Mexico, Asia, and the Pacific Islands interacting with families from other cultures. It's my impression that we Americans have an upside down concept of parenting. Because we are driven by matieralism we tend to pursue our careers at the expense of spending time with our children. We pay another person to watch the kids for 8 hours a day while we go to work or school.

This sort of parenting is found in other cultures, but is reserved to the upper echelon of society. Usually this is in the form of a nanny or in home care giver providing one on one care. In america we have developed the daycare system involving a few care givers and many children.

At the end of the day all I am saying is that there is no better day care than home. I'm sure glad we made it work...

Wow, please don't take this the wrong way. Things often come out wrong in written forums. However, my husband works (active duty army) and I go to school. Our daughter is in school and our son is in daycare. The best form of daycare for them is NOT at home, with me 24/7! I am not choosing to go to school and become a nurse for materialistic gain. I am doing it so I can work part time and not go insane being a stay-at-home mom.

Some people can do his and I think that is so wonderful. Then, other people, cannot and need the outside intellectual stimulation. How would you feel if your wife decided that she wanted to pursue a career and that it was your turn to raise the kids, plan meals, cook, clean, and everything else that involves being a housewife. Again, I'm my saying there is anything wrong with people choosing to stay home. You seem to be grouping everyone in the states as materialistic and in need of two incomes.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

My wife aspires to be a wonderful mother. She has been to college, and will return when I finish. Yes, I will care for our children when she does. Will she pursue a career: doubtfull. She likes being a mom.

We believe in gender equality with an emphasis on the male bringing home the bacon so mom can be mom.

Someone once asked: "is a feminist any better than a male chauvinist"?

Just sharing my opinions. You are always welcome to disagree.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

It is always a blessing to marry someone with like views.

But still, I'm not a feminist. I'm a Miikinist, and I am not inciting an argument. I just like to question those with different views of myself.

What if, instead of being a full-time mom, your wife did want to go to school and pursue a career? And I mean, perhaps selfishly, she wanted to do it now rather than wait until you completed school.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Forensic Psych.

Someone once asked: "is a feminist any better than a male chauvinist"?

Yep In just a few posts, you've made it abundantly clear that I am.

This thread is going to be absolutely epic.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Forensic Psych.

And Steph! Where is this feminist eye located exactly??? I think I missed that in A&P 1.

Bahaha! I'm not touching that one!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Your milage, and opinions, will vary.

I'm just expressing my opinion. I guess it makes me feel good telling others what I think. Again, you're welcome to disagree and tell me what you think. I may not agree but I'll respect your opinion.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.
It is always a blessing to marry someone with like views.

But still, I'm not a feminist. I'm a Miikinist, and I am not inciting an argument. I just like to question those with different views of myself.

What if, instead of being a full-time mom, your wife did want to go to school and pursue a career? And I mean, perhaps selfishly, she wanted to do it now rather than wait until you completed school.

I only asked questions. I'd like to hear your point of view.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

It would be impractical for me to leave school right now for my wife to take classes. Doing so would cause a financial set back. Nor would my work schedule allow it. However, after I finish nursing school she will have both options available to her.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Forensic Psych.

I'm just expressing my opinion. I guess it makes me feel good telling others what I think. Again, you're welcome to disagree and tell me what you think. I may not agree but I'll respect your opinion.

Please, continue to share. Heaven knows, the most appropriate place to express your negative views of daycare and working mothers is in a thread dedicated to working/schooling mothers who choose to put their children in daycare.

As long as it makes YOU feel good, what else matters?

Now...tell me more about how your equal rights views with your special twist....

if the best daycare is home, and your wife chose to work, where would your children be?

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

So there would be no practical choice for that situation at the moment, which is understandable.

What if... When you said 'I want to go to school for nursing.' your wife said 'I want to go to school to teach/nurse/basket weave/whatever.' I guess what I'm getting at is whose education would come first? Or who would have to sacrifice?

Do you live with other family members? I know nothing of the typical pacific islander family dynamic, but in Mexican and Asian cultures, large family systems tend to live in close proximity.

What about the educational expectancy and standards of the cultures you listed? Most countries with high educational achievement utilize day care systems and typically start children in school at very young ages. Asia is massive and it's countries fit into several different categories.

Maybe education isn't everything? How else would you measure the effectiveness of parental decisions? How loved a child feels? Moral development?

What do you think? Explain your opinion to me.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

@ Stephalump

Did I mention your name when I made any of the above statements? Why are you making this personal? My beef with daycare has nothing to do with you, nor do any of my statements.

My problem with daycare stems from the generally unhealthy enviroment. They often have an unproportional adult to child ratio, expose children to negative behaviors illness and abuse from caregivers and other children.

I only want what is best for my children which is why my wife has chosen to stay at home. However I recognize some use day cares out of neccessity rather than privilege. Like I said - your milage may vary.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Neonatal Nurse Practitioner.

Oh.

I guess that wasnt for me. I haven't taken anything personally.

If you'd like me to stop, I'll be happy to.

While there are many daycares, especially in low income areas, that create poor environments for child development, there are many good ones out there too. IMO, a good child care center can provide better developmental experiences than the home can.

I'm not telling you to go put your kid in daycare. Your arrangement is perfect for your family.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion