Six months ago, I finally got my dream job in trauma ICU. I'm an experienced ICU nurse, have CCRN and CNRN and worked in med/surg ICU prior. I absolutely love the work I do with the patient population I serve...but I cannot seem to connect with my co-workers. There are three distinct cliques on my shift that have no interest in being corteous toward me. I am nice to everyone, always check to see if they need help, etc. Some of them will just say no to help without even looking me in the eye or saying thank you, and then two minutes later get someone else to help them. Conversation seems to come to a halt if I try to contribute something, and if I ask to learn about something I don't have much experience with, they get annoyed with me for asking and spend a couple of minutes hurriedly explaining what was going on and not let me as questions.
There is some very poor behavior that goes on in that unit too. One charge nurse is constantly working on learning another language (and when she is doing pt care will ignore call lights or beeping pumps with empty pressor bags), nurses with intubated 1:1s will be watching movies or listening to music on their iPads in the patient rooms, they talk at length about sexual experiences, or they chase each other around the unit and make startled noises. It is super unprofessional but I strongly feel that if I said something, even anonymously, it would somehow come back to bite me in the butt.
I have never experienced this kind of treatment at any job I've held before. I got along great at my old ICU, but for some reason, this place seems to go out of their way to let me know they have a problem with me. They can't get me in my nursing care, it's always spot on, and in my review I had no complaints. How do I deal with these people? I know I'm there to do a job, not socialize...but 12 hours of being given the cold shoulder gets to you after a while...
oh hoe hoe! describing my first job. Lesson Learned: if they don't answer your questions...they don't KNOW the answer. So don't ask questions. 1. it makes you look lazy and ignorant 2. puts them on the spot because they are lazy and ignorant and don't have a clue. So they don't say anything that would make them look as stupid as they are...they only look brilliant because you desperately want to learn and grow and you want them to be brilliant. I had no idea that nurses would be so mean, land-sharks still groping for the teachers attention, drama pools of back stabbers, they will run to the manager and lie about you - if your too professional and bright eyed. Just zip it and verbalize every month.. "I like and try to get along with everyone"..be sincere. You have to somehow get and maintain the managers support of you Ms Newby on the floor-and not loose it to the other side, if you do, she'll ignore you and support them. My manager of my first job, how the smoking puffer's voice still haunts..."they will eat you alive little bit". She was telling the truth - the clique - was out there - she knew it. My first week, on my own, got report from a hateful burnt out nurse of 8 years on that floor....words used so fast such as this person had an appy, lappy, coly, gabby..my head was spinning. That hateful wench ran to my manger and said "that newbee doesn't know anything about anything" - I was called to the office..the manager beat her fist on her desk and called me the dumbest..not learned..uneducated! I told her I did not learn those words in school...and may have had a dumb deer in the headlight look on my face no understanding and verbalizing my ignorance of those words she was using. She had my back for a while told me to get back out there. But once the 8 year nurse blabbed to everyone I did not know anything without specifications, because she did not have to, and its like you trying to defend yourself. I had friends like the RN that trained me knew how everyone was. The meth head that turned nurse had the managers support because "our families grew up together", those in the clique had concrete foundations that went back to them "we I was little and my manager knew my momma stories" I was an outsider..from another small town 40 miles away.. I went home crying for weeks.I found medication in rooms and did not write others up, I should have. I should have run to the manager about everything but I thought well she is too busy or I can fix this why bother her. (I ran 6 outlets stores back in the day-I can manage)...I was old enough to be their mom!! Bubbly and perky me went down the toilet for a while. I left that job after a year...to a retirement home..the yelling of co-workers to each other and to the floor supervisor...was like watching prison shows where the yell and call names, CNA told an ADON, after I told her to remove her piercings from her nose and eyebrows, I wanted her job..I knew I was good, but did not want to be an ADON, but could not convience her and she was so insecure I mooooved on again......now I'm in a clinic..wonderful but the clique between hospital staff and corporation staff is so obvious the doctors see it. I have worked many, many jobs but have never seen the hateful ways between co-workers, as I have seen between nurses. Sad but true... I am still looking for a less drama queen induced infectious place to work. ha ha love nursing....do not like the lazy, lying, cheating..oh the CNA's husband killed himself...and then she gets fired (finally) for hitting a resident..Karma will catch up to them, it may take a while. But now looking at my resume..it appears I am a job skipper..ewww.
camoflower don't sweat it. It seems to me that most nurses I know including myself have had many jobs. Most of the time when people leave it is because of the toxic stress and not the work. That is a sad truth that I have seen. It is not limited to nursing though. What a stressed out angry world we live in.
Yes, I go back to one of my stories..whereas a doctor yelled at me and I was angered for weeks at him. I thought we got along on the floor. His odd behavior reinforced, to me, the reason why most nurses HATED him. I have a son in pre-med, has NO social skills, I can relate to doctors. (they have no social skills because ...well my son just doesn't understand why anyone wants to converse with anyone other than close friends or family..another story- he is working on it)back to my story.. but one day, this doc and I, happened to BOTH be taking the stairs, he was leaving for home and I was running up the steps to work...He said "haven't seen you in a while"..I said or mumbled something like "yeah I hide from doctors that don't like me..." he stopped long enough to say something along the lines of how he liked me what was up with my comment and "ohh I don't remember yelling at you.." and down the steps he continued. I suppose it goes with everyone that is on the floor with you with things don't go smoothly, we lash out at each other, not purposely. good point nursemarion good point. I enjoy your opinions.
I encountered this as well, though admittedly I am not a MICU nurse. I wish I had tips on how to help...I ended up leaving my job that was like that. Everyone there would only support people of their ethnic group and the admin looked the other way. Very frustrating.
The first person you have to examine is yourself. The way people treat us is a reflection of how we treat them. After that it is basic human relations. It may sound lame but you have to sell yourself to others. You have to learn to communicate with them and make them want to communicate with you. There is one book in particular that can help you alot and that is "How to Win Friends and Influence People" by Dale Carnegie. It was written about 75 years ago but is still valid today. It is available in paperback and very often you can pick it up cheap at a yard sale or flea market. It is considered to be the bible of human relations.. By the way I am in my 45 year working as a nurse. I just started a new job and am in orientation. I had no trouble getting along with the other orientees whether they were in their twenties or older and no matter what other demographics they matched. I was asked out to go to lunch with other orientees the first day and people I did not know had no trouble sitting next to me and engaging in conversations as the saying goes...You can do it! Good luck and enjoy your career.
Hey guys, I'm in need of some advice...
Six months ago, I finally got my dream job in trauma ICU. I'm an experienced ICU nurse, have CCRN and CNRN and worked in med/surg ICU prior. I absolutely love the work I do with the patient population I serve...but I cannot seem to connect with my co-workers. There are three distinct cliques on my shift that have no interest in being corteous toward me. I am nice to everyone, always check to see if they need help, etc. Some of them will just say no to help without even looking me in the eye or saying thank you, and then two minutes later get someone else to help them. Conversation seems to come to a halt if I try to contribute something, and if I ask to learn about something I don't have much experience with, they get annoyed with me for asking and spend a couple of minutes hurriedly explaining what was going on and not let me as questions.
There is some very poor behavior that goes on in that unit too. One charge nurse is constantly working on learning another language (and when she is doing pt care will ignore call lights or beeping pumps with empty pressor bags), nurses with intubated 1:1s will be watching movies or listening to music on their iPads in the patient rooms, they talk at length about sexual experiences, or they chase each other around the unit and make startled noises. It is super unprofessional but I strongly feel that if I said something, even anonymously, it would somehow come back to bite me in the butt.
I have never experienced this kind of treatment at any job I've held before. I got along great at my old ICU, but for some reason, this place seems to go out of their way to let me know they have a problem with me. They can't get me in my nursing care, it's always spot on, and in my review I had no complaints. How do I deal with these people? I know I'm there to do a job, not socialize...but 12 hours of being given the cold shoulder gets to you after a while...
It sounds to me that you have intergrity in the way you approach your passion in nursing. I encourage you to remember the reasons you thought of this oppertunity as your dream job. Doing that may help you refresh your joy as you care for the patients who need you.
I have experienced this environment and it is sad to say that it can be mind bothering, and mentally draining to you and your family. It is a dilema as to turning them in and facing the consequences of thier reaction or quitting your dream job and moving on. I will say search your heart and do what you believe will bring some peace and comfort to your heart and mind. If you can endure for some time, I will say hang in there. It may be a matter of time to see some positive changes. For all you know they may see you as a threat, thus the hostility. You are a professional nurse and I see you making a difference.
Oh my goodness, why would you even care to get along with them. They sound like they are immature teenagers with attitude problems. I would look for job elsewhere.
Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, Neurology, Rehab.
What I would do is what another post said, go in do your job and ignore them. Act like you are in your own world. Go to lunch alone, when you are not busy read something related to your job or if you are on your break read a magazine and do not engaged them in any conversation. Eventually they will began to feel they are getting the cold shoulder and will begin to wonder 'what is up with her"? You have to be strong and committed to be the best you can be without depending on those idiots you work with.
Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, Neurology, Rehab.
Ignore them, be kind when someone ask you something, don't go to the break room when they are in there. Find some where else to break, when people realize that your are minding your own business they will began to get curious and try to engage you in conversation. You have to be strong. Believe it or not I experience cliques, in my church, now how horrible is that. But I don't let it get me down I just pray for them and I know one day they will have to give an answer to God.
camoflower
70 Posts
oh hoe hoe! describing my first job. Lesson Learned: if they don't answer your questions...they don't KNOW the answer. So don't ask questions. 1. it makes you look lazy and ignorant 2. puts them on the spot because they are lazy and ignorant and don't have a clue. So they don't say anything that would make them look as stupid as they are...they only look brilliant because you desperately want to learn and grow and you want them to be brilliant. I had no idea that nurses would be so mean, land-sharks still groping for the teachers attention, drama pools of back stabbers, they will run to the manager and lie about you - if your too professional and bright eyed. Just zip it and verbalize every month.. "I like and try to get along with everyone"..be sincere. You have to somehow get and maintain the managers support of you Ms Newby on the floor-and not loose it to the other side, if you do, she'll ignore you and support them. My manager of my first job, how the smoking puffer's voice still haunts..."they will eat you alive little bit". She was telling the truth - the clique - was out there - she knew it. My first week, on my own, got report from a hateful burnt out nurse of 8 years on that floor....words used so fast such as this person had an appy, lappy, coly, gabby..my head was spinning. That hateful wench ran to my manger and said "that newbee doesn't know anything about anything" - I was called to the office..the manager beat her fist on her desk and called me the dumbest..not learned..uneducated! I told her I did not learn those words in school...and may have had a dumb deer in the headlight look on my face no understanding and verbalizing my ignorance of those words she was using. She had my back for a while told me to get back out there. But once the 8 year nurse blabbed to everyone I did not know anything without specifications, because she did not have to, and its like you trying to defend yourself. I had friends like the RN that trained me knew how everyone was. The meth head that turned nurse had the managers support because "our families grew up together", those in the clique had concrete foundations that went back to them "we I was little and my manager knew my momma stories" I was an outsider..from another small town 40 miles away.. I went home crying for weeks.I found medication in rooms and did not write others up, I should have. I should have run to the manager about everything but I thought well she is too busy or I can fix this why bother her. (I ran 6 outlets stores back in the day-I can manage)...I was old enough to be their mom!! Bubbly and perky me went down the toilet for a while. I left that job after a year...to a retirement home..the yelling of co-workers to each other and to the floor supervisor...was like watching prison shows where the yell and call names, CNA told an ADON, after I told her to remove her piercings from her nose and eyebrows, I wanted her job..I knew I was good, but did not want to be an ADON, but could not convience her and she was so insecure I mooooved on again......now I'm in a clinic..wonderful but the clique between hospital staff and corporation staff is so obvious the doctors see it. I have worked many, many jobs but have never seen the hateful ways between co-workers, as I have seen between nurses. Sad but true... I am still looking for a less drama queen induced infectious place to work. ha ha love nursing....do not like the lazy, lying, cheating..oh the CNA's husband killed himself...and then she gets fired (finally) for hitting a resident..Karma will catch up to them, it may take a while. But now looking at my resume..it appears I am a job skipper..ewww.