Big blowup at work, now I'm miserable

[AprilW3]

It's been brewing for a few weeks now. One of my fellow CNAs, a new gal in our LTC, has had a lot of trouble adjusting. She seems to have an attitude problem. She always seems to be snippy, both to her coworkers and the residents. Quite a number of residents have complained about her attitude...they say she's been rude to them. She says she tries to be "firm but friendly." She really seems to have a big problem with nurses, too. If she's asked to do something, she doesn't get to it for a loooong time...and she really resents them for not answering more call lights. She seems like a nice person except for her attitude. And I know that she has had a LOT of personal problems.

We've all discussed the problem, behind her back. Yes, I know it's not right...and I've been wrong to do it...but I feel like I have to vent sometimes. I have complained about her attitude and her refusal to help with call lights that are not her residents. Everyone agrees with me that she has a problem...and everyone on the floor has participated in the complaining. Another of my fellow CNAs, who has also participated in the vent sessions, has decided to get things REALLY stirred up, spreading both truth and rumors...making an already tense situation unbearable.

The DON called a meeting with all of us. She said she could feel the tension with us all...she wanted to know what's going on. One of the nurses put her 2 cents in, she really let this CNA have it. I tried to be more gentle...I told her how I felt she acted angry with us quite a bit, and that I'd like to find a solution to all of the tension. I told her exactly how her attitude made me feel, without trying to make accusations or to attack her. None of the other CNAs or nurses who had a problem with her stepped up to the plate to give their sides...which I thought was pretty crappy.

Now this CNA feels like she's being picked on and won't stop crying. I felt it would be a good thing for everyone to be truthful...to stop talking about each other behind our backs...I think it backfired. I'm tired of the he said/she said garbage. It has to end, and it ends with me. I will NOT listen to it again...it's poison.

Now I'm feeling really crappy. I don't want to go back to work. My stomach is all in knots. And I'm tired of fighting my coworkers....I just want to get along with them. The good thing is that everyone knows exactly how I feel, and that if anything else is said and attributed to me, it's not true.

Sorry this is so long, and probably unreadable. I'm feeling a little emotional right now.

Do you think the situation is recoverable? How could I go about building a new bridge after we finally got everything in the open?:(

[bethin]

I have to agree that it was pretty crappy that you were the only one that spoke up but yet everyone has a problem with her.

This is what I would do: go to work, do your job and go home. No, you shouldn't have to put up with this but trust me, this happens everywhere and changing jobs won't make much of a difference. If this aide asks you a question, answer her. If she needs help, help her. But don't go out of your way to be friends with her. She'll just take advantage of you more. I know I sound pretty cynical about this but this happened to me and I know it can zap morale and make you question yourself. You did nothing wrong here and you are not at fault.

You could try talking to the DON 1:1 and see what she says since you seem to be the only one willing to speak up. Honestly, I've never had much luck speaking to managment about an employee. I usually get ignored.

[justme1972]

Isn't that how it always goes....there are so many people in jobs that are more than willing to sit back and take whatever and allow someone else to speak for them so their own heads aren't near the chopping block.

I'm so sorry you are going through this...I don't have any advice of what to do, but I will say a prayer.

[vamedic4, EMT-P]

So many complain, and yet only one has the balls to do anything about anything. Good for you for realizing a problem and dealing with it directly. You did the right thing, and your whiny coworkers should be smacked. How dare they complain behind this person's back but not offer into evidence anything when given the chance face to face. That's underhanded, dirty, and just plain wrong.

Some people just don't adjust well to new surroundings and people. Don't write her off just yet, give her the benefit of the doubt.

And good for you for not playing any games. All that "he said , she said" stuff doesn't work with me, either.

Relax. You did a good thing. Get some sleep.

vamedic4

Proud of you for speaking up

[sgregory0020]

Hello April, Thanks for being a true person! I have had this problem very recently. The CNA told a resident not to ring her call bell and was very rude to her and so the resident called her daughter and the daughter to the job and was very upset, The charge nurse for the night spoke to the lady and I myself went to talk to the resident and reassures her that it was ok to use her bell. I also asked her could she tell me who told her not to ring her call bell and reassured me that it was that CNA! So I went to this CNA and politely told her that she should not be telling residents not to use the cal bell and that this her way to call for help. The CNA got all upset and told me to mined my own business and leave her alone! So after that I told her that I was only trying to keep her from getting in trouble because this could get her fired and reassured her that I would not be trying to warn her again! Then I went to the DON and reported her because several other aides and residents were complaining about her and how rude she can be! So my advice t you is to keep your head up high and report any abuse to the nurses or whoever in chage because sometime people can be rude and disrespectful. Please always remeber that the people you are taking care of are older and they deserve respect!!

:balloons:;):monkeydance:!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!sgregory

[caliotter3]

I repeat everything Bethin has said. Just go to work, do your job, and go home. Things may never be lovey, dovey but eventually the tension will ease. Don't blame yourself and go looking for a job over this. It happens almost everywhere, all the time. And it is quite common for everybody to complain and complain but when it is time to step up and voice concerns at a meeting, they sit there like God sewed their mouths shut. One thing I would advise you. If any of these others ever say anything about this girl again, remind them that everybody had their chance to talk about the problems and you don't want to hear it anymore. Good luck. Just wait it out and concentrate on yourself. Practice your relaxation techniques at work. Concentrate on developing pleasant relationships with the residents. They will like you for your efforts.

[SHELL75]

Unfortunately You Will Run Into This Anywhere You Work In The Healthcare Field. Just Do Your Job, Dont Do Or Say Anything About Anybody Or To Anybody You Wouldn't Want Done To You And You'll Be Fine. You're There For Your Patients And Not To Solve Everybody Else's Problems.

[shalamar]

It seems that your co-worker is not a happy person. Someone needed to let her know how she is acting. If she is a really a good person inside she will be hurt by what was said, but she will learn that she has to change, especially if she wants to continue working. Shes probably is being watched, and if she gets more complaints, her days will be numbered anyway. Just be nice to her, as far as she will let you, maybe she needs a friend, even if you spoke up, she has to respect you for that. when someone is mean, smother them with kindness and see how she reacts, maybe its a wall she puts up as a protection maybe she mentally not stable, maybe she has been mistreated in the past, anyway, your boss knows now, treat her nice. believe me she's not happy and just do what you need to do on your job. If she is just a rotten person, she will have to learn, what is acceptable behavior. she wont get far in life.

[amanda1229]

I would say just the same as others, clock in, do well, clock out. But if her attitude is affecting residents in the place they live and expect good care, I think it's another aide's job to bring it to someone else's attention. If the other aides are too cowardly to speak up like they were before, I would just call or pull this aide aside and tell her why everything was being said and whatnot. Even if this meeting takes place with you, her and the DON. It needs to be resolved, IMO, and it's not fair if it isn't.

If "firm but friendly" is offending residents and staff, guess what -- it isn't friendly. I don't think these residents should have to live somewhere and put up with people who act like they're just there for a job. On the other hand, this poor girl who may have been just trying to do well, is now crying all the time, probably hates coming to work, feels like all of her coworkers hate her, and probably feels like she's being watched constantly.

If I were in the same situation, I'd talk to her, explain what's going on, show her how you do things, and tell the other aides (since they seem to be better with you than her!) to do the same.