Okay, I know many are about to jump on here and say, "NO!!!! DON'T DO IT!!!!" but first, hear me out.
First, let me be clear that I have NOT acted unprofessionally in any way in this situation. Now, let me give you the scenario:
I'm a 24 yo single male staff nurse in my third year. For the last 4 days, I've been caring for a 20 yo female patient with viral pneumonia. She expressed to me that she was feeling very alone because she's a college student and her parents live more than 1000 miles away and she has no family in the area.
So, naturally, I made a point as part of her care plan to visit her whenever possible so that she might not feel so alone. Well, she clearly likes to talk. I would pretty much simply say hello and ask how she's feeling and she just talks and talks, even with the pneumonia! I actually haven't disclosed a whole lot about myself, certainly no more than I would to any other patient, but in my conversations with her, it is absolutely amazing how much she and I have in common. She has the most infectious smile.
In the last two days, it's becoming apparent that she may have a similar interest in me. A couple other nurses on my wing have told me that she's been asking when I'll be around. Also yesterday she felt the need to tell me about her past relationships with guys and how they never seemed to care much about anything but themselves and how she hasn't dated anyone since last winter.... you know, the typical "Hey, I'm available, hint, hint" discussion. I'm about 80% sure that she's hoping I'll ask her out just by the hints she's dropping.
Now before I go further, let me make it known that yes, I've had several other young female patients before, a couple of whom I must admit were probably more attractive than this young lady. And yes, I know about the concept of transference. And I'm experienced enough to understand and feel the typical nurse/patient connection that develops. This isn't that.
Now, back on track. I have NEVER expressed these feelings toward her in any overt way, or even to my co-workers. I have not given her undue time that I wouldn't give to another patient. She doesn't even know for sure that I'm single, unless another nurse has told her that, which I doubt.
I've decided that if all possible, I'd like to ask this girl out AFTER she is discharged either Friday or Saturday, but I'm not sure what my options are. I could either say in my last visit with her, that it would be nice to talk to her again some time, but I don't think that's the right approach. Should I talk it over with our ethics adviser? She's very busy and that just doesn't seem like the right way to go either. Writing down her phone number from her records and calling her after discharge certainly wouldn't be ethical.
Another possibility is that I am most likely to be the one to wheel her to the exit on her discharge. Perhaps that might be the right time to speak to her briefly about possibly getting together for coffee or something, because as soon as she gets out of that chair, she's technically not my patient anymore. The last possibility is to not say anything and instead look her up at her school some time next week. That might be the best option.
I just don't want to be thinking back saying "what-if" 20 years from now. You just don't get a lot of chances at happiness and after dating plenty of girls, I just have a strong feeling she might be the one for me. Either way, I've got to find out. Thanks for reading.
I reiterate posting on someone else's account, especially that led to an age discrepancy, is an action bound to raise eyebrows. Maybe it is not a big deal to some but b/c we don't know posters other than username & past posts, it legitimately raises questions about credibility. It is very easy to open an account.
I didn't see anything in Nurse Salt or Mary C's posts other than well-expressed opinions. I fail to see how 'cute girl'-more referring to her being attractive to the OP as a person rather than mere eye candy-is casting aspersions on the OP's character.
As to Mary C, she was clear about her position regarding nurse/pt relationship. Disagree with her if you will, but it is a thoughtful opinion, backed up by logic.
Yes, a bad choice of words which I found to be somewhat belittling.
As I found your accusation I was calling you Shallow Hal completely uncalled for... I was on your side, I was rooting for you, I was thrown off by the identity discrepancy and trying to point out a side no one had yet addressed. I wish you well.
It is also an opinion that should be expected to receive a response. I mean really, it doesn't take much higher-level thought process to realize that if you accuse someone of scamming a vulnerable person, s/he MIGHT take offense to that. Ya think?
I find it very odd that some people expect to state their opinions without others being able to do so.
Please do not start this... I was trying to make nice. Enough is enough.
I don't think it was personal or meant to be rude. The same has been said about my neighborhood. Heck, *I've* said the same about my neighborhood.
ETA: Just last night a man ran down the street--for several blocks--wearing blue sweatpants and a cape made out of crossing guard vests. Interesting place.
I reiterate posting on someone else's account, especially that led to an age discrepancy, is an action bound to raise eyebrows. Maybe it is not a big deal to some but b/c we don't know posters other than username & past posts, it legitimately raises questions about credibility.
Why? What's it matter? Is posting on my brother's account some kind of morally deplorable thing to do? It's not like I did it without his permission. I mean come on. This is the INTERNET here.... the final frontier... the Wild West! LOL
It is very easy to open an account.
I didn't see anything in Nurse Salt or Mary C's posts other than well-expressed opinions. I fail to see how 'cute girl'-more referring to her being attractive to the OP as a person rather than mere eye candy-is casting aspersions on the OP's character.
As to Mary C, she was clear about her position regarding nurse/pt relationship. Disagree with her if you will, but it is a thoughtful opinion, backed up by logic.
And I will reiterate one more time that I did NOTHING with or toward her than I wouldn't have done with any other patient, including perhaps a 90 year old man. I merely found her fascinating to talk to, and I got the idea that she was fascinated with our conversations as well. I don't see any problem with telling any patient that it has been nice to talk to them after a 15-20 minute chat.
In the end, SHE handed me her phone # on the way out the door, saving me from the moral dilemma of asking her out. She was apparently smart enough to understand that dilemma on her own, which is probably why she specifically told me not to read her note until later, when she was long gone and no longer my patient by any stretch of the imagination. So what's the problem? Are you telling me I should now throw her number away and purge it from my memory? I think not.
hollyberry678
172 Posts
I can see that, Farmer Jane:yawn: