Being a NICU parent while working on the unit...

[JoshuaAdamsRN]

I don't know if anyone has ever been in this situation, but I'm looking for advice.

Before I found out my wife was pregnant, I pursued a transfer opportunity in my hospital and went from being an RN in emergency to working in the NICU. Monday morning, she had to have a stat C-section because they thought she was abrupting (she wasn't; the uterine scar from her first C-section was dehiscing internally and causing pain and bleeding). Our baby is fine right now, but most likely will spend a few weeks in the unit. Having worked there, I know the ups & downs the babies endure and the "one day at a time" advice we constantly give parents but it's completely different when you're on the other side of the incubator and you're the patient's father, not the nurse.

I'm going to talk to my manager tomorrow because I don't know if I can even continue working on the unit while this is going on. I was approved for FMLA, but that was when I thought we'd have a term delivery.

Any thoughts?

Thanks.

[birdcage]

First of all, congratulations on the new baby.

It's a good idea to talk to your manager to let her know your concerns. What is it exactly that makes you not want to work on your unit? You must be overwhelmed right now.

[Bobbkat]

My family was in a similar situation. My daughter unexpectedly spent a week in the NICU when she was born due to pneumonia and an infection. My mother happens to work in the NICU she was in, but started a week of vacation the day that she was born (what timing, lol!). I think if she had not been on vacation, it may have been difficult for her to go about her normal duties on the unit while her first grandchild was on her unit.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I've known a few people in similar situations -- including a neonatologist whose baby was in the NICU and a staff nurse whose twins spent a couple of months in the NICU -- and were there even after she returned to work after the delivery. I've known a couple other cases where staff members were adopting babies that were patients in their own units.

In all cases, the working family member was always assigned to work in sections of the NICU different from where those particular patients were housed. Fortunately, those units had different rooms (or "pods") so that separation could be maintained. The staff member was in a different section of the unit when working and was not involved in the professional care of their babies in any way.

The staff member also had to be disciplined and not continually "visit" the baby throughout the shift to work. When they were "staff," they maintained their staff role and only visited at lunch, breaktime, etc. They didn't "hang out" at their baby's bedside when they were supposed to be working. When they "visited," they were not expected to do any work for the unit. They stayed at their baby's bedside like any other patient and stayed in their NICU parent role.

It was awkward, but it worked because everyone knew where the lines were and didn't cross them.

[littleneoRN]

We have been in this situation numerous times unfortunately. Would you consider using some of this FMLA so you can spend time supporting and caring for your wife after this difficult delivery and spending time with your new baby? Most dads of our patients seem to try to take some time off work after the birth anyway, much less if they work on our unit! This might help you feel you can really be a parent to your baby and just focus on that.

[elizabeth321]

I feel like I am in the twilight zone....how could anyone work when their child is in NICU? what about stress/sick leave?

L

[littleneoRN]

Elizabeth,

Unfortunately, many babies stay in the NICU for weeks or months and some parents have to go back to work since their leave is exhausted. Or they want to save time off for when their baby is home.

LittleNeoRN

[BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN]

One of our nurses had a baby in our unit for 5 months...she chose to work in the nursery because she found it hard to stay with her patients if she heard a doc being called to her baby's room or if she knew she was having a bad day. She was not allowed to be assigned to the room or side that her baby was on.

She came back 6 weeks after delivery so that she could have the rest of her FMLA when the baby went home. We can be granted a 6 month leave from the unit, but after that we are not obligated to keep that postion and it has to be posted.