Being the mom and the nurse you want to be.....

Published

I have been an LPN for seven years and will be starting my last year of school in January to complete my RN. I have a 3 year old daughter who is just my favorite thing in the world. Since I had her I have only worked in a part-time, non clinical role to accommodate my class schedule and allow me to have as much time with her as possible. As I get nearer the beginning of RN school and clinicals and all that entails, I'm feeling so nervous about how to be a mom and a full time RN student! On top of that, I'm just missing working as a "real" nurse. I want to go be with patients and do everything a nurse does, but not as much as I want to be with my little one on holidays and weekends. I feel like I've lost a ton of nursing skills in the last 3 years and I'm so nervous I won't be able to hack it in nursing school or out on the floor as an RN! I've always said that I'll work in a very flexible, no holidays, no weekends, no 12 hour shift type of job until my child is older but will I even be able to go back into a hospital setting at that point? Can you tell my mind is racing?! So my question is, can you have both? A career that fulfills you and not feel like you're missing your child's life at the same time? How do you all deal with this? Thanks in advance!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Most of my weekend and night coworkers have kids. We make it work because kids usually have 2 parents.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

I was a nurse for many years before I had children. I worked nights and weekends...my husband worked days. We saw each other in passing....we laugh that it is how we never fought. I was with my children all day long. It required the sacrifice of sleep but it was worth it. I was able to be classroom Mommy and available for parties. My babies knew I "worked" and that I made booboo's better. But they had no idea what that meant. I was there when they went to sleep and there when they woke up or shortly thereafter. I think it gave them the sense that Mommies can be successful and love their children. They never spent a day in day care except playtime.

I lived away from family so it has always been just us and we are very close. My children are confident teens now and will still kiss me in public. They were confident little kindergarteners than would run into a room full of strangers and play.

I think it can be done if you are ok with it....if they feel you are good with it they will be too. I'm not saying it's easy because it isn't but it was worth every second of lost sleep.

The answer is YES...if you are willing to work at it.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Do you have the option to work casual (or per diem, as many of you call it on here)? This usually allows you to dictate your schedule and you could work your schedule around your daughter's. I know many parents who do this. I also know many parents who work part-time lines are pick up when they need a bit of extra cash.

M-F jobs can be a bit harder to come by, but they are out there. Are you a single mom or do you have support from a partner or other family members? If you do 12 hour shifts, you will work less shifts overall, giving you more full days off with your daughter. You might finds you enjoy nights once she goes to school because you can take her to school when you get home from the hospital, sleep, then pick up up when its over.

It may take some planning and trying some different types of scheduling, but I'm sure you can make something work :)

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you for your response! I have thought about this option and it may be something we try when I finish school. My husband is a big help but works kind of an odd schedule so I'm the main caregiver.

Up Vote Up Vote ×

Thank you for your response! I have thought working nights might be a good option for me so I could still be in a hospital setting & not gone all the time. Kudos to you for going without sleep those days!! I bet that was tough after some long nights!!!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I worked casual for the first five years because of my children being younger and my husband's job requiring him to be out of town.

It works if you don't need a set number of hours per pay period.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Inpatient Oncology/Public Health.

I work weekend nights and take care of my boys during the week. I think it's the best of both worlds.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Geriatrics, Telemetry, Med-Surg.

Yes, it is very possible. Unfortunately, I currently spend more time at my job than with my kids (I have a 4 year old and a 4 month old). I work 12 hour shifts. I am working 5 scheduled 12 hour shifts this week. By the time I get home at 8:00 or 8:30, I get to spend about half an hour with my girls, read them a story, then put them to bed. I'm hoping it's only temporary. My kids come first, not my job, but right now my job is taking up too much of my time. I'm hoping and praying for a weekend premium job. Hubby works Monday-Friday, so he could spend the weekends with the girls while I worked. I'd never see him, though. It's hard to juggle a full-time job and a family life, especially when you have to work mandatory overtime and on-call time, but it isn't impossible!

Up Vote Up Vote ×

I think it's possible to find the balance, but not necessarily easy. I've just started my career as an RN with a 7 year old & almost 2 year old. It is hard working 3 12 hour shifts each week, because I don't really see the kids those days. On the other hand, I get 4 days off to spend with them. 1 day off is a recover/catch up on housework day, 1 is an errand type day & the others are just quality time. We also homeschool, so nights weren't a great option for me right now. I think it's more stressful for me because I'm a new nurse, but it seems to be working for us. Just keep an open mind and look at different possibilities. You can make things work that didn't seem like they would before. Good luck!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in Critical Care, Education.

Count me in on the 'go for night shifts' bunch. When I worked, Hubby did 'mornings' and got them off to school or day care. I slept till early afternoon & retrieved from day care/ picked up from school. It worked out very well for me. I accidentally discovered my girls didn't even realize I worked until DD #1 (age 7) told teacher "my mom doesn't work - she just likes to sleep late sometimes" Srsly! So, I guess they didn't feel deprived - LOL.

Up Vote Up Vote ×
Specializes in PICU, CTICU.

Along with some of the other mommas who posted, I became a night shift nurse when my son came along. He is now 3 and I am working three nights per week, 7 to 7. I leave before he goes to bed and don't get home until he's having breakfast those three times a week, but other than that I get the rest of my time with him. Like Esme, I just sacrifice my sleep. It's not easy, and I may be zombie-like from time to time, but I don't want to miss this time with him. His dad and I have him in "playschool" 2 mornings a week for 3 hours just for socializing...we're happy that we've been able to avoid day care with our schedules. Good luck with what you decide!

Up Vote Up Vote ×
+ Join the Discussion