Bad Interview...

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mamacashew

mamacashew

53 Posts

It was illegal for her to ask you anything about your personal life. Prospective employers are forbidden to ask about your relationship status, children, or anything else. Her scope of questions should revolve only around the job you were applying for!

chloecatrn

chloecatrn

410 Posts

OK, this is good. It shows you should run some scenarios for future interviews. Maybe an intrusive Q demands a snappy answer, like "Well, we'll just see if he really loves me, now won't we?" Everyone but the questioner likes a snappy answer. It shows either that you can think on your feet or that you've taken the time in advance to think through all the pitfalls and how to deal with them. Both are equally valuable to an employer.

I wouldn't even dignify it with that. My answer would be, "My first focus will be my job. My personal life is not something that I feel comfortable discussing in an interview setting."

HappyNurse2005

HappyNurse2005, RN

Specializes in LDRP. 1,640 Posts

wow, i can't believe she asked you that! was she nasty when you worked with her?

shiccy

shiccy

379 Posts

She definitely should have posed it a bit differently, but the question is still valid. I was asked during my transfer to an ICU "Where do you plan on being in 5 years?" If you're a new grad, they will be spending THOUSANDS of dollars on your butt to educate and train to their way of life. My hospital takes 6 months en total for orientation, sometimes longer if needed. So in essense, it is a valid question, but she probably shouldn't have specifically brought up your boyfriend.

This being said, if you've been dating for 9 years, I have a few questions - #1- Where's the ring??!, and #2- You should be also looking closer to him to see what you can get so it's not so much of a struggle to see each other!

violet_violet

violet_violet

125 Posts

Yes, I do understand they want to invest in someone who will stay around, and I can definitely return the investment, but seriously the way she phrase the question, it was not appropriate. My bf didn't have to be in the question.

That being said, your questions are also personal...haha. No ring yet. And if ring, we would have to live separate lives for now (a sacrafice we would have to make in this economy)... BELIEVE ME, his area where he lives is much harder to find NG jobs and we both understand that completely. If there were more jobs, of course, I would be focusin on his area but that is not the case. I'm willing to go where the job is, at least for the first few years then go elsewhere.

shiccy

shiccy

379 Posts

haha sorry the Internet does a poor job of conveying that I'm being a dork ;)

In short, it was a poorly phrased question, although an important one none-the-less. I was talking to our hospitals CNO (weird to say that) and she was talking about how and why our hospital got rid of the sign on bonuses. In her opinion (and the opinion of the head of my organization) is that sign-on bonuses get the corporation "refrigerator nurses" in that once their time commitment was up (2-5 years, typically), they'd be on their way to pay for another major appliance for their house. I'm not saying this is what you are going to do, but it's something to keep in mind to get into their point of view.

As far as answering their question again in the future, I believe you said you said that you were having issues w/ your boyfriend. You need to think like a politician in circumstances like this. Something along the lines of, "We were having problems, and as of this week this is no longer an issue." In their mind you broke up. In your mind you are back together, but not ready to jump ship and move to his area of your state. It helps if you show a bit of emotion either way - a smile that shows you're happy about the situation or a frown and looking down showing that you're a little sad by it.

Finally FWIW I think your biggest mistake of the whole thing is that you gave a finite number of years. When I interviewed as a new grad they asked, "What will you be doing in 5 years? Do you plan on going further with your education?" I told them honestly and directly, "I do plan on going on in the future sometime, but as of right now I want to get a good number of years in before that happens..."

violet_violet

violet_violet

125 Posts

Yes I agree, it was not a good idea that I gave a number of years I assume I would be there... omg... what a learning experience. I have to be better next time. :eek:

hmmm, I wonder what their decision will be ... :rolleyes:

Edited by violet_violet

llg

llg, PhD, RN

Specializes in Nursing Professional Development. Has 45 years experience. 13,469 Posts

I agree that your biggest mistake was giving them a specific number of years. It's best to be vague and simply state your intention to stay for a long while. If pressed, remind them that you can't predict the future, but use a phrase such as "several years" in there someone.

I don't think the question was illegal, though perhaps it should have been phrased less bluntly. She didn't ask about the relationship: she asked about your level of committment to the job given that you may have a major committent elsewhere. She was asking about your committment to the job and that's a legitimate question. Let's face it, the selection committee knows you have a boyfriend living 3 hours away. It's best that it be out in the open. They did you a favor by giving you an opportunity to discuss it. Had they not asked about it, they could have assumed the worst and simply given you a "courtesy interview" with no real chance of being hired. They gave you a chance to address it -- to say that you no longer have that boyfriend -- or that he is planning to move to your city -- or whatever.

I don't think your answer was that bad. It was OK. It might not have "wowed" them, but I didn't hurt you. They already knew about the boyfriend. I think your answer was a "neutral" in the grand scheme of things. You had something negative/questionable in your background and you addressed it in a reasonable way when asked about it. As you get more experience with interviews, you'll get more comfortable handling the tough questions that sometimes get asked.

Edited by llg

50caliber

50caliber

229 Posts

Inappropriate and none of their dam business.

GM2RN

GM2RN

1,850 Posts

I do hope you have also learned to keep some personal things to yourself. I would never have told anyone who worked there that I wouldn't stay there long if hired, regardless of the reason. Although the question was highly inappropriate, you did give them the ammo. I have also learned the hard way not to trust anyone at work with any infomation that I might regret if it were to be told to management or anyone else.

RNKITTY04

RNKITTY04

Specializes in Rehab, Step-down,Tele,Hospice. 353 Posts

This being said, if you've been dating for 9 years, I have a few questions - #1- Where's the ring??!, and #2- You should be also looking closer to him to see what you can get so it's not so much of a struggle to see each other!

*** ? Wow, talk about inappropriate questions

Flipper911

Flipper911

82 Posts

Not every interview will go great and the good thing is that a bad interview allows you the chance to learn and grow. If you do not get this position you darn sure will have an understanding of appropriate and inappropriate interview questions. The BF question was a major no-no!

I would take the time to google sample interview questions, behavioral interview techniques, possible questions to ask a potential interviewer and legally what can be asked in an interview. So when the next opportunity comes around you can knock it out of the park, good luck!