Baby during NS = bad idea?

Hopeful3 · Jul 1, 2010

CRAZY!!!!

At the same token, I can't imagine not having my kids! They are my world.

It has been done, I know people that have done it. If you have a great family network, a supportive husband, and a high threshhold for stress - GO FOR IT.

Good luck! :)

notmanydaysoff · Jul 1, 2010

You asked for thoughts...

NS, especially accelerated programs are rigorous and all-consuming. Of course, anything can be done, and there are many women who have done so - but can you perform optimally (in NS) if you are tired, nauseous, and otherwise not feeling up to it? Only you can be the judge of that.

But in reading your post, I see more negatives than positives:

"I don't think I want to have a baby while still in school"

"Would it be a HUGE mistake to have a baby before I graduate?"

"I ask because I'm a little afraid that when it comes down to it, it may take us a long time to get pregnant"

"so I'm terrified that it'll take us a year+ to get pregnant. Since I'm already in my 30s, I don't want to wait too long."

Luckily, my baby-making days are behind me, however, I can't imagine being PG during NS. That would for sure would've been my undoing!

Timing is critical in life. If it is the right time to have children, I daresay that school can wait. It will always be there - whereas the time to have children is fleeting.

Hopeful3 · Jul 1, 2010

>> Timing is critical in life. If it is the right time to have children, I daresay that school can wait. It will always be there - whereas the time to have children is fleeting.

Well said.

One1, BSN, RN · Jul 1, 2010

I'm in an accelerated program similar to yours right now (lengthwise) and I could not imagine having a baby while being in this program. I have two toddlers at home and that is plenty challenge for me already, but then again, that is my personal opinion and does not have to hold true for you.

However, having had more challenging pregnancies, here are a few thoughts to consider:

- your pregnancy is loaded with morning sickness and other very impacting side effects.

- your pregnancy becomes complicated and you are put on bedrest (so no more school)

- will your clinical rotations all be doable while you are pg? (Think peds (childhood dz), infectious dz, etc)

- what if your baby is born early/late (assuming that you are timing birth to some form of semester break)?

- what if your baby has to be in the NICU for a while or if you have to stay in the hospital for some time due to a more difficult birth?

- your newborn will be happy to eat every 2-3 hours, or even every 1.5 - 2 hours if you breastfeed (ballpark estimate). He/she will not be on a day/night cycle for a while. Are you going to be comfortable being up that often throughout the night while being a firsttime mom and still find focus, time, and energy for the all-consuming nursing school assignments?

- if you breastfeed, will you be comfortable pumping throughout the day and having your baby bottle-fed?

Just some thoughts. Everything is doable if you set your mind to it, but with this school being just a one-year baby delay, you might want to consider if it might not be much easier on all of you to stick out that year and maybe start trying to get pg towards the end of your program?

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Jul 1, 2010

How far into your 30s are you.. if you don't mind my asking? 31 is a completely different story than 37 when it comes to fertility.

To answer your question, I don't think you should try to do both at the same time. You are asking about two things that you can't even imagine the time, exhastion, and stress levels until you've actually experienced them. Doing them both at once will be difficult at the best, almost or fully impossible at worst.

I cant stress enough how exhausting those first few months are after having a baby. Babies are demanding and hard, I was a walking zombie for months. You also have to consider your recovery time after having a baby. A few days in the hospital and a couple of weeks to a month at home. You will either get kicked out of the program or fall hopelessly behind if you miss even a fraction of the while recovering.

It will be so much easier to do the program first then have the baby. We're talking being done next year. If you're not in your upper 30s I don't think it'll be much of a problem getting pregnant. You may, however, have trouble getting back into nursing school.

Good luck.

gumby1411 · Jul 1, 2010

Thanks to all that have replied. You've said what I needed to hear (and already knew myself). I know that having a baby while in the program would be challenging to say the least. I know babies are up every 2 hours to eat and wouldn't care if I had clinicals at 6:30am or an exam at 8:00am. I know that nausea and fatigue would be a problem during early pregnancy as well. Some days I'm okay with waiting until school is done, but then others I'm not. Those days typically come after babysitting my beautiful nieces or seeing friends that have just had a baby.

To answer someone's question: I am 31. I realize fertility becomes more of an issue at 37 versus 31, however, I've already tried to get pregnant when I was 29 and it didn't happen. So, I'm guessing that I will have a problem with fertility no matter if I'm 29, 31 or 37. I certainly don't want only one child either, so if I wait until I'm in my late 30s to have baby #1, that pushes baby #2 back as well, if I would even go through with having another baby approaching the age of 40.

Thanks again to all that have replied. As of now, I still hope that I will be able to be pregnant at my graduation, although, I know realistically, it depends on how hard school is and exactly how much stress I'll be under.

ILstudentnurse · Jul 1, 2010

Having a child is a wonderful experience, but the parents have to consider the child's "experience" also. Will the baby have the opportunity to develop to the best of their ability if the mother is stressed during the nursing program? I'm not sure, but I don't think it would be fair to the child to take that risk. If you really have a burning desire to have a child now, hold off on nursing school and give your child the best advantage possible, that's only fair. Good luck! :)

lifelearningrn, BSN, RN · Jul 1, 2010

This is just an antidote but my husband and I were off of contraception for 6 months and I didn't conceive. It took 5 more months of really trying (temps, timing, etc) before we had our first. Our second was a 'surprise' without even trying. I've had friends get pregnant the first try while others take months or even a year or more. If you're really concerned about conception maybe you should see a doctor just to find out if something is wrong. (I think it's just a matter of time though)

gumby1411 · Jul 1, 2010

If you're really concerned about conception maybe you should see a doctor just to find out if something is wrong. (I think it's just a matter of time though)

We did see doctors. As far as I know, we're both healthy. I guess it just wasn't meant to be at that time. I really hope that's the case. If so, then maybe we'll get pregnant as soon as we start trying again. God only knows. Thanks.

Elleveein, LVN · Jul 1, 2010

your doing BSN in 1 yr ? Are u already a nurse ?

Bobbkat · Jul 1, 2010

It can be done, though think very carefully about yourself, your family, and your program first, becuaes it is WORK.

I was pregnant term 1 (with 9 months of nasty-send-you-to-the-hospital-to-get-iv-fluids-and-meds-vomiting), gave birth (c-section), daughter spent a week in the NICU, had another major surgery 4 weeks after that (term 2 - though I only took 8 credits that term), finished up the rest of term 2 the next semester, and then finished terms 3 and 4 full time with my infant. I missed one day of school the entire time, and it was only because I was still inpatient after my first surgery. I graduated with a 3.5.

It helps if you are incredibly stubborn and refuse to fail. Maybe it helps a little too if you are a glutton for punishment (for example, I also planned my wedding during school and got married mid semester while I was taking patho and micro). It also helps if your faculty is supportive (mine let me pump in their offices, behind curtains during after-clinical conference, etc), and it is absolutely necessary to have a family/support system that understands what everyone is getting into, and is totally on board. I think it also helps if you have never in your life wanted to be a stay at home mom. I never did, I still don't. If I had ever had the inkling that I wanted to stay at home....I'm sure I would have quit school, especially because then we could have moved to the same state that my husband was living in at the time.

Good luck with your decision. Lord knows you wouldn't be the first woman pregnant in nursing school (or the last, for that matter), but you certainly also wouldn't be the first woman that decided to postpone one or the other.