Attending high risk deliveries as a NICU nurse. Traumatic experience

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Specializes in NICU.

At my hospital NICU nurses attend high risk deliveries if our census allows. Also, if our census allows one of us is assigned to be baby nurse and will attend all deliveries including low risk.

I've only been in the NICU since Feb' of this year but I was oriented to be baby nurse as well as being oriented to the NICU. I was an adult ICU nurse before my transfer to NICU. Going to deliveries has always made me nervous. I am NRP certified and am beginning to feel more confident. Going to a delivery feels like waiting in the ER for an ambulance to arrive with no idea what is coming. The NNP will come with us if it is a high risk delivery.

Well last week the NNP and I attended the delivery of a baby with a known abnormality. The infant was to be DNR status. The delivery became very complicated and traumatic. It became an emergent situation and I honestly can say it was the most horrific thing I have ever witnessed. I am feeling quite traumatized and honestly pretty shook up. I know this wasn't a normal situation and the likely hood of the same thing happening again any time soon is probably pretty low. But the thought of being in a situation like this again makes me very anxious. The NNP I was with has 30+ years of experience and admitted it was the worst delivery she had ever experienced.

Just looking for support. I don't want to give the gruesome details at this time to protect patient confidentiality. I know time will heal me and I will soon repress these memories. As a nurse I have experienced many terrible things and I have always been able to move on. This one just hit a little close to home being a mother and young woman.

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Specializes in Complex pedi to LTC/SA & now a manager.

Do you have an EAP or counseling team for your NICU? This may help work through your feelings rather than a public board where you can't post details. It's tough. You made it through and can "talk" about it now. You are right though, no amount of education, training, or experience can prepare you for an extreme situation that you witnessed. It's going to take time to process and heal.

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We've all seen deliveries that horrify or sadden us - I can pretty much guarantee something like this will happen again if you stay in it long enough. Honestly, some nurses that I work with are fabulous but hate going on deliveries because of the fear of the unknown or the "what ifs." Can you ask for a while that the NNP/experienced nurse comes with you for a while so you can get your sea legs back? Is attending deliveries a requirement for your job? I also second the EAP/counseling idea. You're still really new to the NICU arena, I wouldn't beat yourself up.

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.

Even after being a nurse for 30 years in emergency medicine and trauma flight. The WORST thing I hear is a code blue L&D. I instantly have feelings of dread my heart rate picks up my knees are briefly weak.

It's ok to be anxious.

In 35 years....I have seen 3 HORRIBLE and I mean HORRIBLE deliveries. They have stayed with in in the back of my mind. I admire with every ounce of my soul L&D and NICU nurses. For even resuscitating someone that is the size of my hand fills me with dread. Hats Off to you all!

It will get better. You ahve had some excellent suggestions. Ask for a debriefing at work talk to the people who were present to work through it.

((HUGS))

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Specializes in OR.

As a homebirth midwife, before going to nursing school, I saw (participated in as either an apprentice or the primary midwife) a few deliveries that I will never forget. I journaled a lot about some -- the saddest revolved around abnormalities incompatible with life. The worst, though, was many hours after a transport and while all survived and healthily, I finally had to go talk to someone. My mind had ... just gotten to a point where I was obsessing about it, creating this mental rut that brought me to a point of it feeling like PTSD. I'd get anxious, nervous, stressed out, not sleeping well... the whole shebang.

Whatever coping mechanisms you currently have in place -- exercise them wholeheartedly. Nurses... midwives...most caretakers -- we take care of ourselves last and only when we feel that things are slipping out of control, it seems. If your coping mechanisms aren't working for you, seek others (like therapy, art, whatever). I can't recommend strongly enough that you not let it sit and eat at you -- actively seek healing.

Mei

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Specializes in NICU.

I work in one of the busiest nicus in a large city with a level 1 trauma and my nicu is a high functioning state of art nicu. All i can say is girl, i have BEEN there. I have seen nightmares with my own eyes you can't even begin to fathom. We have no support system really. Just sitting here typing this is giving me flashbacks. I feel like the psychological effects of seeing tramautic events is something we as nurses tend to over look. It gets swept under the rug and nobody talks about the trauma we experience, we just go on working. It's become taboo. Find someone who you can vent to. Start writing your thoughts down. It may become cathartic. That's all i got. I can barely help myself let alone someone else. Good luck!

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