I don't even know where to begin. I'm in a new position in a fast paced ICU and I don't think I can handle the stress. It's been almost three months. In 3 months I've become hypertensive, my anxiety has increased, and I'm back on antidepressants. When it comes time to go to work, I get shakey, diaphoretic, and really nervous. I calm down a bit, then do the same thing when we're dealing out assignments. I'm more or less ok throughout the night unless something starts happening with my patients. I also work in a very "cliquey" environment. There's a group that-unless you're one of "them"- will write you up for anything and everything, so I wander around with that fear all the time.
Tonight I told my husband I just want to quit and figure it out later. I feel like my job has turned me into a nervous nut case. I know financially we need me to work, but at what point do I sacrifice my sanity? I don't know if I should just start frantically hunting for something else, talk to my manager about my concerns, or turn in my notice while I look around?
I'm just so lost. I don't even know if I want to be a nurse anymore.
I am just a student doing 5wks in ICU... I am just trying to do what I can. This for me is a specialty I have always gravitated toward. I am older, and have other experience that makes me take caution with my future. There is no way a person can orient in the ICU without strong management to force a good healthy environment for learning and support. This whole idea of having to "jump-in" (to the gang) is ridiculous. It is a big signal that nobody is interested in the patients or building a good ICU because they are too interested in themselves. I see that where I am... too many young ones trying to be "tough" I get very nervous if I find my preceptor for the day is a double-downer (too young, too tough).
You know you. It is not that you can't handle it, it's that you are well-adjusted! I have met so many screwed up nurses! Your physical reaction to this shows you are level-headed. Your letting it get this far means you have a good work ethic, and are trying to cope. Bring up the anxiety quotient with your doctor. Do not delay. You need a handle on that part to help you make the correct decisions on how to extricate yourself without wanting to set those bridges on fire. I am the type to feel physical symptoms... but then I get so ****** that I've been made to experience physical stress, that I want to light my blow torch and retaliate...(this is not wise, LOL)
I am sending you that "extra" you need right now to do what you gotta do! Someday, hope you'll do the same for me :heartbeat
Hugs to you! I second the idea about EAP...it's not always as well-advertised as it should be, but maybe you could just call your human resources department and ask them for the phone number. The whole point of an Employee Assistance Program is that it's anonymous and free, so they shouldn't ask you to identify yourself or your department. This may be stuff that you already know, but I just wanted to mention it because I recently got in touch with the employee assistance program at my hospital, after much fretting and fussing about whether I should actually do it or not, and it basically kept me from going off the deep end. Best of luck with whatever you choose to do!
I have found that ICU & ER are naturally stressful areas. Knowing your S*T helps. They always want to show a new employee up and point out their mistakes. Take time out to become familiar with your drugs and common practices, the other is to pray. Destresss and make time for self. People are who they are. Dealing with adverse situations make you a stronger person. There may not always be an avenue out. On the other hand you and your health come first. If this area is unbearable follow the correct chain of command and procedure to report violatios and prepare to exit. Good luck either way. Never let them see you sweat!
Thanks again everyone. I'll see how tonight goes, but I'm seriously considering calling out the next couple days then giving my manager a heads up that I need out and why.
It's not so much the cliquey people... I've learned in nursing that I can get along with pretty much anyone co-worker wise. It's the stress that the nature of the patients puts on me. I guess i had to try it to find out that it wasn't for me. I know a lot of people like the rush and the stress, but apparently I'm not one of them.
netglow, ASN, RN
4,412 Posts
Oncrn, many hugs to you.
I am just a student doing 5wks in ICU... I am just trying to do what I can. This for me is a specialty I have always gravitated toward. I am older, and have other experience that makes me take caution with my future. There is no way a person can orient in the ICU without strong management to force a good healthy environment for learning and support. This whole idea of having to "jump-in" (to the gang) is ridiculous. It is a big signal that nobody is interested in the patients or building a good ICU because they are too interested in themselves. I see that where I am... too many young ones trying to be "tough" I get very nervous if I find my preceptor for the day is a double-downer (too young, too tough).
You know you. It is not that you can't handle it, it's that you are well-adjusted! I have met so many screwed up nurses! Your physical reaction to this shows you are level-headed. Your letting it get this far means you have a good work ethic, and are trying to cope. Bring up the anxiety quotient with your doctor. Do not delay. You need a handle on that part to help you make the correct decisions on how to extricate yourself without wanting to set those bridges on fire. I am the type to feel physical symptoms... but then I get so ****** that I've been made to experience physical stress, that I want to light my blow torch and retaliate...(this is not wise, LOL)
I am sending you that "extra" you need right now to do what you gotta do! Someday, hope you'll do the same for me :heartbeat