At my lowest point, my patient lifted ME up...

[FrazzledButBlessed]

I just wanted to share. I can't even talk about it without crying again...

Today in clinicals, I had a really bad day. Medication administration for the very first time. 14 meds. I had to know the generic/brand name, classification, routes & dosage, actions and therapeutic effects, uses, etc etc etc of each drug. Word for word. I had been up 34 hours at that point (we are doing back to back clinicals to make up for weather related absentees)

I screwed up. I went blank. Looking at my instructor's face brought about a blank mind. I knew these meds, but looking at it in my hand, it looked so foreign. What is this? What does it do? I don't remember! My instructor let me have it in the hallway. A busy hallway. In front of my fellow classmates, patient families and doctors. I was humiliated. Yes, I knew these meds...but I was so extremely tired, I was blank. I just looked at my instructor. There was nothing I could. Nothing I could say. I put on a brave face and endured. We made our way into the patient's room and an unexpected medication arrived via the charge nurse. I had to know all of the drug properties on the spot. I had not prepared, nor seen this med before. My instructor cut loose in front of my patient. "Do you not know ANYTHING? You should go home. I can't believe I'm letting you stay here. You know what? Meet me afterwhile, we have to talk".

We administered meds, I had tears in my eyes. I put on the bravest face I could muster. My instructor left, I closed the door. My patient looked at me and said "This was your first time giving medicine, wasn't it?" Normally, this is something we should never admit, but I couldn't lie. I mustered out a tearful "Yes." She told me to come to her bedside. She grabbed my hand and said "I want to pray for you." And we did. We prayed, we both cried. She cried tears of compassion for me. She lifted ME up and she was the one who was so very ill. It touched me in a way I just can't describe. A patient praying for peace and comfort to her nurse. She prayed I would not get sent home. We cried some more. She encouraged me and let me know it wasn't the end of the world, and this will make me a stronger person. I never imagined I'd find myself crying in front of a patient, much less having the patient cry WITH me. Such a humble and sweet spirit that patient had. I felt a peace I can't describe and I faced my instructor. I wasn't sent home. In fact, the instructor's attitude did a complete 180.

Amazing.

Never underestimate the person lying before you. They care about you as much as you care about them. This is a lesson I'll never forget.

[NICURN2013]

WOW! See... the patients we care for are amazing. :) What a nice story, I'm glad it ended up good for you. We always seem to blank out at the worst times. Hopefully clinical will go great next time and you'll make your instructor think she was a little too rough on you. Good luck! :)

[metal_m0nk, BSN, RN]

Amazing story. Those are the folks who make it all worth it. Stick with it so you can be that rock for others like her when they need it.

[nwillis]

Awe, thanks for sharing your story. It's really encouraging. So happy to hear that you were blessed with some comfort and encouragement when you really needed it.

[Trilldayz,RN BSN]

This story made me cry! God bless both of you!

[browneyes3000]

I am crying. This story makes me feel so good about becoming a nurse. Thank you.

[pockunit, ADN, RN]

What a great pt. I hope we all have someone like that on a day we need it.

I hope you also spoke to the instructor about the inappropriate behavior exhibited by speaking to you in that way in public.

[CnmAshley]

Amazing. You're gonna be a great nurse. And your professor was absolutely WRONG in how she handled you, and I would definitely have words with her privately. She is a poor example of a clinical instructor. Hugs, keep up the great work!!!