At the end of my rope...hate nursing.

[Brittany2206]

Hey all,

I am a senior nursing student and I am in my last semester of classes and I will graduate in April. Everything has been going okay in school so far, and I am doing well, I just feel that nursing is not what I expected it to be. I have always thought of it as a very prestigious career, but know I have almost the opposite view of it.

I had an on campus job which I enjoyed, and was involved in a lot of on campus organizations (student government, started a Dean's Advising Board, taught a review class for microbiology, etc) and am still somewhat involved. In July, I got a job as a nursing aide in a nursing home, and then in August I got a call from a hospital to become a nursing assistant on an acute rehab unit. I went PRN at the nursing home, and am now working at the hospital PRN also. I HATE IT! I hate every minute of being there. I hate 12 hour shifts, I hate the staff, and I just hate the entire environment in general. As a matter of fact, I already know I do not want to work at that hospital when I graduate, because I will be moving after graduation so that I can live closer to my fiance (we have been long distance for 3.5 years). But I feel obligated to stay there until I graduate, so I have a little experience to put on my resume when I graduate. My biggest fear is that I will not find a job after I move. And just recently, the unit manager has been forcing me to work a lot of nights to cover for a person who is on sick leave until he hires 2 new part time night shift people. And I HATE working nights. I also hate working weekends. Which of course, nurses have to do.

This whole job experience just has dashed all my hopes of nursing. All of a sudden I am tired all the time, have no motivation to study for school, I cry all the time (before work, before clinical, when I drive back to campus for the week after being back "home"), and I feel like I am on the wrong career path.

Has anybody else had a similar experience? I just don't know what to do anymore

[bradleau]

I worked in several hospitals, some nursing homes, and did home health and hospice. I did not know anything about nursing or the actual work load until I graduated from school and got my papers. The work load is huge. I went home with such physical pain I was in tears. Fibromyligia it turns out was plaguing me. 12 hr shifts are rough. Keeping the same wake and sleep schedule is a must.

I ran across a hospital that had EVERYONE on a 3 AM to 3 PM and 3 PM to 3 AM schedule. I shudder to think of that work schedule. All of mine have been 11 PM to 7 AM or 7 PM to 7 AM schedule. Yes you will be tired. Working with people is hard. You no longer can be the person you really are. One innocent comment can get you fired. All it takes is a patient or family complaining. This happens in all kinds of work environments.

I would NOT give up at this stage of your studies. Try jobs at different hospitals, clinics, home visits. I held jobs over the years that nearly gave me ulcers. HATED going to work. *This was an ER job. The job that I had taking care of minor health issues and injurys for a big company was the BEST.

[Marshall1]

Working as a CNA will have little, if any effect on your being able to obtain employment as a nurse so staying at the hospital when you hate it so much doesn't make sense - especially if you don't have to work or are still working at the long term care facility. I've been in nursing a long time and was a nursing assistant while in college. Not once, ever, did my working as a NA give me the "up" on a job - even when I first graduated and would bring it up in an interview - no one cared. That being said, obviously if you work at a facility, are a good employee and become a nurse you most likely would be considered before other applicants as most places promote/hire from within. You do not have to work at a hospital as a nurse - ever. I'm not sure why or how this whole idea of working in a hospital is a "must" came about. You can go straight into other areas and it sounds like from your post long term care is not the problem, but hospital. I agree with you about the 12 hr shifts, etc. Since those came into play in nursing the overall attitude of most nurses I know have declined. I personally believe hospitals should offer a choice - as some do - part of why I am struggling with a job offer for a hospital is because I, like you, don't want to work 12 hr shifts plus the time tacked on for driving/report etc. so I am considering another avenue outside the hospital.

Others on here will disagree, but life is too short - if you hate the hospital job as much as it sounds - you need to quit - for yourself and to open a space for someone else who needs a job and may like working there.

[nyteshade, BSN]

Look, this field isn't for everyone. It's ok if you don't like it. My advice: finish your program, at least have a degree to show for. Perhaps you have other interests that you'd like to pursue? Even if you wanted to change careers, at least you don't have to repeat a lot of pre-reqs like English and stuff.

[babyNP., APRN]

You don't need both places. Pick one and quit the other (do you depend on the jobs for living expenses?)

I would hate it if I had to work in a nursing home. Or with adults. Period. I would have, of course, if I had to do it, and I wouldn't treat my patients any differently. But it would suck out my soul. There is so much more to nursing than all of that. I work in NICU and it's light-years away difference (and I'm in love with my profession and don't see myself quitting it anytime soon)

Remember that nursing is not just med-surg or nursing homes. The real life of nursing is not like it is in nursing school. TRUST ME. It's so different.

Keep on trucking to the finish line and best of luck.

[melaniestudent]

The manager will not rush to hire someone else as long as you are so available to cover the shift. Start saying no, and he will have to start looking for replacements. Get your nursing degree. You have worked way too hard to stop now. There are literally thousands of different ways you can use your nursing degree, not just in a hospital environment. It will be so worth it!

[Anna Flaxis, BSN, RN]

Look, this field isn't for everyone. It's ok if you don't like it. My advice: finish your program, at least have a degree to show for. Perhaps you have other interests that you'd like to pursue? Even if you wanted to change careers, at least you don't have to repeat a lot of pre-reqs like English and stuff.

This. You are so close to graduating. Finish school. Take your NCLEX. Then, re-evaluate. At least then you will have a nursing license, and there are many more ways to use it than just working in the hospital. If you still decide you'd rather do something other than nursing, at least you will have your license to fall back on and have some form of employment while you pursue the next chapter of your life, whatever that may be.

Good luck!

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

I agree with the people who say to finish your degree and decide after that. It could be that you are just exhausted in general (the two jobs and school is a lot). I worked as a tech for a brief period and I had days that I hated it. I honestly can't say that I thought I wanted to quit nursing school, but the co-workers and such were rough. I thought clinical was fine and I thought it definitely got better as school progressed.

But, one thing that did help me is I had/have jobs that were nothing in health care and even though I love doing what I do right now (small non-nursing job), I do long for the moment where I am approved to find my first nursing job. I figured out when I was away from nursing, I longed to be back around it (granted, it was only clinical that I did and the tech job, but still miss it, nonetheless). So, my advice to you would be, stick with it and graduate. Then, find a nursing job and something on the side. Where I live and the fact that I am single, I will probably have to find a second job (part time, which I am looking for now) and it won't be a nursing job. The reason being that I hope I never burn out of nursing to the point where I would not want to do it anymore. Nursing is tough (and quite frankly, I don't know how some people have 2 nursing jobs--where I live, many people have a full time job as a nurse one place and PRN/part time nursing somewhere else. It screams "I want to get burnt out" to me).

What type of clinical(s) have you gotten to experience? Was yours all hospital? Did you have anything in psych or community or any observation in like dialysis clinic?

Like someone else said, there is pharmaceutical sales and some nurses work for insurance companies (usually you have to have experience for that). Also, if you get your Master's, there's also teaching and doing clinical for colleges.

[QuarterLife88, MSN, RN, NP]

I don't like it either; I find it a bit soul-sucking and depressing (taking care of others while ignoring our needs and loved ones, no thanks!) My big realization happened one day in clinical when my instructor was explaining a procedure/device for a patient and I realized that I could not have cared less and was bored. I'm also bored to tears hearing about my group mates patients, and wish we didn't have to share because if I cared, I would have asked.

I was shocked, because I do love medical things, but not from a nursing perspective. I am sad it took me going through nursing school to figure it out. I love science and disease, but I don't care much for the people who have them; just their disease (more like the medical model I guess). I now lie whenever I have to agree with the others that I am in school because I want to take care of others and have patient interaction: I don't. My favorite time spent was in the OR when the patient was unconscious!

In clinical I do the best I can even though I am dying on the inside wishing it was all over. I give my best even if it's like pulling teeth at this point. Patient safety is still my #1 priority.

But stick it out if you're close to the end and can bear it. I have peds right now and I swear I am always 2 sec away from running off the floor and getting in my car and saying to hell with this! lol In the end, you will have an education to fall back on if times get rough. Good luck!

[Brittany2206]

Thank you all for your words of encouragement. I know I am NOT quitting school. I have invested too much time and money in it to quit. I have not worked at the nursing home for the past month, and I have been working a 12 hour shift per week at the hospital as well as picking up a few hours here an there. During the first portion of nursing school, I worked on campus, held a student government position (which was a TON of work, I was the student rep for the entire nursing college), and also taught a supplemental instruction class twice a week for a microbiology class. I did all of this for the whole first year of nursing school, and although I am not working much now, I think I might just finally be exhausted. I have enough money saved up to get through to graduation, so I am not dependent on working. I am just afraid I will have trouble finding a job after nursing school without any nursing assistant experience. Maybe I am wrong?

So far I have done clinicals on a med/surg unit, cardiac unit, OB, peds, psych, and now I am on a neuro unit for high acuity as well as a community clinical in which we have participated in health fairs, gone on a home health visit, and are working on a teaching project for a local school.

I do love helping people. I love science, and diseases. In fact, I started out college in pre med. Then, I realized I wanted to spend more time with my patients than a physician does, but I came to find out nurses just don't have time to spend with patients :/

[wish_me_luck, BSN, RN]

I have to reply to Quarter...if you really hate it that much, please do yourself and everyone else a favor and do something else. I think we've all had rough clinical days (and work days for those with nursing jobs), but man, I think your opinion is slightly on the strong side. Maybe get your pre-reqs for med school and finish up nursing school (for the undergraduate degree part) and go to med school? You can do that still, you know.

[QuarterLife88, MSN, RN, NP]

Hi wish_me_luck,

I probably won't work as a nurse, at least not for very long, I'm only finishing for the degree and the education itself at this point. A good education can never hurt even if it hurts while getting it! Down the line I most likely will go back to school for something else. I'd like to major in bio-chemistry, psychology, or even English. I never had the desire to be a doctor. I have a lot of other interests, and my life is only just beginning. But for now, I will finish school and go from there.

I know a lot of times I come across as harsh on this forum, but I do feel like this is the only place I can vent freely. I sure as heck can't say it to my classmates!! LOL

I also suspect it's a little bit of depression speaking as well - I am terribly unhappy with the career choice I have made and often wish I had a reset button to do portions of my life over.

[QuarterLife88, MSN, RN, NP]

Actually, shockingly for me, I did LOVE my OB rotation. It never made me want to quit, I enjoyed my patients, my instructor, the nurses, and even the busy work, for once, didn't make me cringe so much. Maybe it's just med-surg and peds I can't stand.