Assertive with your providers.

Specialties Emergency

Published

I know I'm a rough around the edges kinda gal, but I'm old school nursing where docs r 'Gods'. So I tend to still approach them in a submissive fashion.

Tonight at work, had a situation that left me feeling humiliated by a doctor, in front of my coworkers.

I know the doc was just frustrated at how a situation turned out.

I tried really hard to keep it together and I could feel myself getting all red in the face.

I don't want to act rude or unprofessional, even though the way I was treated was unprofessional.. But I don't want to make it a habit of this doc just belittling me like it's acceptable.

How do you guys deal? Any tips on how to handle/reply in a professional way if this happens in the future?

I really wanted to tell them I really don't appreciate being spoken to in that manner, but I think at the time I was in so much shock all I could say was I'm sorry.

Specializes in school nursing, home health,rehab, long-.

Hello Stargazer,

I'm sorry this had to happen. I, like you, have great responses that come fully formulated in the car on the way home. I believe what MrChicagoRN posted was spot on. Practice saying it in the mirror, to friends, and family. Just like an actor runs lines. Because this is how these situations usually come...when you are unexpecting and unprepared with an audience no less. I asked a great veteran nurse early on if that had ever happened or what she would say if it did. She replied, "I tell them my husband and my father don't talk to me like that and I am certainly not going to be spoken to like that by you. Now you can call back, or we can go into this empty room when you calm down and are ready to try this again." If you can imagine it delivered in an extremely proud voice by dignified lady that was 6'2".:)Never had to use it. However, the day isn't over yet.

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Specializes in ER.
I admire this- I really do. But, for some of us, when we're in the moment, we can sort of "freeze up" and not really know how to respond. It is only in hind sight that we're able to see how we could have handled the situation differently. I agree that the best way to handle these things is in the moment, but again, some of us are poorly equipped that way.

I'm normally like that. The other day, one of my crankier colleagues gave me an 'you're an idiot for asking' type answer to a simple question about an availability of a hardwired bed for a cardiac pt. Instead of turning the other cheek, as is my wont, I called her on it then and there at the nurses station. I told her "Can you just answer the question, instead of 'yada yada yada, tone of voice, attitude, yada yada yada'?". No one said anything, but I could tell my colleagues were pleased. Cranky nurse has been very nice and much more respectful to me ever since!

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Specializes in school nursing, home health,rehab, long-.

Yay! Emergent.:up:

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My favorite phrases, from when I got to work with off service residents in the ER (ugh scared trauma residents).

"Yelling won't make this situation any better."

"We need to help this patient, starting by acting like the professionals we are." (good for when it's something that needs immediate attention)

"Come back and find me when you've calmed down."

"I am not a pediatric nurse. Come back when you are done acting like a 3 year old." (reserved for those days and times you're completely fed up. Only recommended when whatever the doc said was WAY more unprofessional than this.)

I tend to say smart ass, ill advised things when angry. Having a few quips for the insecure anesthesia resident helped me not say unprofessional things. I imagine it would help in your situation as well.

Please don't cast yourself as a victim when you talk to the doc. Poor communication leads to worse outcomes. Emphasize that as a starting point.

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Specializes in EMS, ED, Trauma, CEN, CPEN, TCRN.

When anyone - patients, docs, whoever - starts off yelling at me rather than speaking to me, I calmly raise my hand and either say "Start over" or I invite them to get their voices right and try again. IMO, there is NEVER a good reason to yell at anyone in the workplace, unless you're warning them of impending danger.

Sassy5d, I hope you got the situation all sorted out!

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I have never allowed a physician or an administrator to be rude to me ... Ever. One administrator decided he was going to raise his voice to me one time. I very quietly went and got my CNO and ask this administrator if he had a professional or personal problem with me? I let him know if we had a professional issue with each other that we could go in another room and civilly speak to one another. And personal matters are best handled outside the hospital. I'm about 280 pounds and run a martial arts school in my spare time he looked very shocked and surprisingly he decided he wanted to apologize for his behavior. A nurse should never tolerate this kind of behavior from anyone ever!!! I've worked my hospital for about 10 years now and deal with administration on a daily basis and I've never had another problem since.

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Specializes in ICU.

To the OP:

What did he say to you?

Did you screw up?

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I have not had the opportunity to work with them again. But I'm sure I will this weekend.

Did I do something wrong? Depends on how you view it. I was working a pt with a PA, who obviously consults with md for things.

Basically, I was attempting to deescalate a SI with no psych history that was getting angry at the plan of care. I was going for a less invasive approach, this made them mad.

So when pt blew up verbally and became combative.. That's when my md said some things personally to me

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