Asking for references -- a little unusual

[Allons-y]

Hi all, have a dilemma here that I hope you can help me with.

I've been at my current (first) job for a couple of years. Love the unit, love the people, but unfortunately don't love the geography. To that end, I'm working on acquiring registration as an RN in the UK, as I have found a travel company that places nurses there, and I've been an Anglophile for as long as I can remember. It's a long, not inexpensive process, but I'm very hopeful that it will be very worth it.

Here's my conundrum: both the Nursing and Midwifery Council (the UK's BON, basically) and the agency have forms that must be filled out by two referees, including my current manager. These are pretty generic forms -- questions about my basic clinical competence, safe practice, and so on -- so I'm not too concerned about the references I'll get. My problem is: what is the best way to present this, especially to my manager? In a normal job search process, I'd have the option to ask that she not be contacted until I was in the final stages of securing a new job, but unfortunately I don't have that choice here. And there's really no way of disguising the fact that I'm planning a fairly imminent departure when I hand over part of an application for a different country. What would you do to make this go over as smoothly as possible? (approach in person, call, email; mention a timeframe, be vague; etc.)

Thanks for any advice!

[carolmaccas66, BSN, RN]

Don't be timid. Always approach someone in person. You are going to leave anyway so ask to schedule a meeting when your referees are not too busy. When they ask what it is about, say it's about getting a reference.

You sound very hesitant about approaching anyone for a reference. Better to get it over and done with ASAP, and be up front about it. I wouldn't phone anyone either, cos you won't remember everything you said, though an email asking for a reference and a meeting might not go astray.

Let us know how you get on.

[BrookeeLou_RN]

My would be to approach in person for sure. I would mention I would be providing more specific timeline was I could determine one.. and she what she says.. then kinds go with the flow..

[canesdukegirl, BSN, RN]

Absolutely have a face to face meeting with your manager explaining everything you just posted here. It is the most respectful thing to do, and she will appreciate your honesty and forthright attitude. She will no doubt hate to lose you as part of her staff, but by telling her WHY you want to move on, she will more than likely understand and support you.

If she understands that you are moving for LOGISTICAL reasons instead of your simply being unhappy on the unit (which you state is not the case), she will be relieved to know that your wanting to leave has nothing to do with the way she runs the unit.

[elkpark]

Well, you just said yourself, to us, that this is a long process. You can request the reference without suggesting that your leaving is "imminent" -- more of a future, hypothetical possibility.

I would definitely approach your boss in person.

Best wishes for your journey!