Ask Dr. Fever

Nurses Humor

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Hello out there in Radioland, Babies! This is Dr. Johnny Fever on "Ask Dr. Fever"!

No, I'm not a real doctor and I didn't even play one on TV, but I'm here to answer all your medical questions!

Yes, it is against the TOS here on AN.com to give out medical advice, but I am not really going to give medical advice! Because...

This thread is for entertainment purposes only!

So, if you have a real medical question, seek advice from your personal professional caregiver!

Okay Babies! Let's take our first caller!

Specializes in Cardiology, School Nursing, General.

Dr. Fever, My students complain of headaches all the time, what do I do?

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Dr. Fever, My students complain of headaches all the time, what do I do?

[ATTACH=CONFIG]25971[/ATTACH]

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).

[ATTACH=CONFIG]25972[/ATTACH]

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

Dr Fever, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Dr Fever, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?

[ATTACH=CONFIG]25974[/ATTACH]

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Specializes in Travel, Home Health, Med-Surg.

Dr Fever, me again. I keep telling my coworkers that I cant read their minds cuz my antennae is broken but they don't seem to get it, what can I do!

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

Regarding the description on the first question on this highly-important thread, I think 'Pump Up the Cuff' should've been a big disco hit.

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Dr Fever,

Do recreational spankings have measurable health benefits?

Will they ever be considered an Olympic Event?

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Dr Fever, me again. I keep telling my coworkers that I cant read their minds cuz my antennae is broken but they don't seem to get it, what can I do!

[ATTACH=CONFIG]25977[/ATTACH]

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Regarding the description on the first question on this highly-important thread, I think 'Pump Up the Cuff' should've been a big disco hit.

[ATTACH=CONFIG]25978[/ATTACH]

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Specializes in Psych (25 years), Medical (15 years).
Dr Fever,

Do recreational spankings have measurable health benefits?

Will they ever be considered an Olympic Event?

[ATTACH=CONFIG]25979[/ATTACH]

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Specializes in LTC, Rehab.

Ahh, now I remember. "Pump Up the Cuff" wasn't disco, but was actually a forgotten B-side from the Yeastie Boys. It was the flip side of "(You Gotta) Fight For Your Right (To Potty!)", which was a big hit in all types of medical facilities. But here are those so-so B-side lyrics:

Well if they're just admitted

Don't think that they're dimwitted

If they're in their bed

And definitely not dead

Pump up the cuff!

Pump up the cuff!

If they're light-headed

Or not feeling so hot

If they're feelin' shredded

Or whatever it is they've got

Pump up the cuff!

Pump up the cuff!

If their face is red

No matter WHAT they said

It could be their tummy

Or maybe that chest feelin' funny

Pump up the cuff!

Pump up the cuff!

‘cause you gotta check the pressure

Even if that cat is Cheshire

‘cause too-high pressure ain't good

No matter what your ‘hood

Pump up the cuff!

Pump up the cuff!

Pump up the cuff, y'all,

Pump up the cuff!

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