Arguing with co-workers

lpnflorida · Sep 13, 2008

Congratuations on getting beyond orientation and your probationary period. I would not bother to argue. I would simply state the facts.

If it continues, what I do is. I leave 3 part memos in co-worker's mail boxes nonjudgementally telling them what I have found. I usually end it with " I realize this might have been overlooked I am sure this will not happen again" if it continues I then give them a note of reminder and then end it with" my next note with be to the their supervisor.

Arguing begets arguing.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Sep 13, 2008

Congrats on your new job, obtaining your license and completing probation. I basically agree with lpnflorida...unfortunately, you cannot change people. You do have the support of your supervisors and subordinates, thank goodness. People can certainly press your buttons, for sure. For now, be matter of fact, keep notes to yourself and report when you feel it can definitely fall on your license. Occasionally, though, (and unfortunately), we have to advocate for ourselves when it comes to bullies.

I remember I had a drag out argument with another nurse last Saturday at my per diem assignment. I work in a clinic, however, to gain bedside experience I signed for one of the agencies my hospital uses and go every other Saturday to work on med-surg. It has been a great experience, most of the time, but, I had to come out of my bag last week.

I get to the floor I was assigned to, and find that out of a 30 bed unit, we only had 20 patients. 4 RNs and two LPNs, and immediately, I see that this can be an easy day for me, because most times, the LPN gives medications and the RN does the other work, so, I anticipated 7 or 9 patients to medicate and am ready to get started. However the RNs argued for literally an hour on who will be in charge, which is seriously halting my assignment because I don't know who I have, yet. I find it is easier to get my medications as early as possible, since LPNs give the most medications and we all share one pyxis. After I get the assignment, I get one of the three carts, and I see that the drawers are already pre-numbered with the patient's room numbers. I like to give meds in an orderly fashion if I can, so, I got little stickers and placed the room numbers on the drawers in numerical order, so, that when I get to the pyxis, I can take out, place in the respective drawers and then, go start giving. Get to the pyxis, and start getting out my medications (and the best thing was there were NO IV medications that day), and another nurse comes in and speaks really nasty, saying "Why did you mess up those drawers by putting those stickies on them?" and I respond that I am doing what is easier for me to do my job effectively, and then she started making some very sarcastic remarks about how I think I am cute, etc...(never saw this witch before) and left the room. A few minutes later, she comes back and starts questioning my organization again, and I turned around and said "What is so pressing in your life that I am trying to be organized? Will it end your life as you know it? Do you have a problem? I strongly suggest that you mind your business, act a bit professional and stay out of my way". There were more sarcastic words said by me, I admit, but that was because she kept spewing ignorant comments about "Where do they get these people from..." The RN I was assigned to work with had to come in and say to this woman "Look, we have an easy day for a change...too much staff. Rather than agitate the person who came to help, we really should welcome her and assist" and I left the room.

A few minutes later, this witch comes to me and apologizes, but check it out...she says "I thought you were an RN...see, I am the LPN union delegate..." and immediately, I lost my mind, yet again! I said "Oh, so, because I am an LPN, suddenly, I am cool? You make it your business to agitate RNs? Prevent them from giving medications in an orderly fashion? Is this what you promote? You could NEVER advocate for me, because this, I do not support. I do not have an problem with the job title, I have issues with attitudes of bullying, rudeness and ignorance and that can come in any title. Get out of my face". Yes, folks, it was not very nice. But, I have to admit, it was effective at that time, because that witch stayed out of my face for the rest of the day. The rest of the nurses and I got along beautifully for the duration of the shift. I didn't report her, but I stood my ground. Sometimes, I really see nurses as our own enemies and that saddens me.

Breathe deep, think positive, but keep your tongue sharp as a razor and articulate. Sometimes, that will be the thing to get them off of you.

agldragonRN · Sep 14, 2008

a few minutes later, this witch comes to me and apologizes, but check it out...she says "i thought you were an rn...see, i am the lpn union delegate..." and immediately, i lost my mind, yet again! i said "oh, so, because i am an lpn, suddenly, i am cool? you make it your business to agitate rns? prevent them from giving medications in an orderly fashion? is this what you promote? you could never advocate for me, because this, i do not support. i do not have an problem with the job title, i have issues with attitudes of bullying, rudeness and ignorance and that can come in any title. get out of my face". yes, folks, it was not very nice. but, i have to admit, it was effective at that time, because that witch stayed out of my face for the rest of the day. the rest of the nurses and i got along beautifully for the duration of the shift. i didn't report her, but i stood my ground. sometimes, i really see nurses as our own enemies and that saddens me.

thank you. good for you for standing up to that witch. and her hidden reasoning about it is lame.

just yesterday i had a kinda similar incident with this 7-3 witch. i approched her and borrowed the key to the medroom and she said"you know you are not supposed to put anything in the medroom. it is against the policy." i have a little backpack where i put my wallet and car keys. all nurses put their stuff in the medroom because there is no available locker available. anyway, i did not say anything to this witch. i just thought to myself who the hell is this witch telling me what to do on my floor.

then we had an admission coming in and this witch told me i guess that admission is yours. i told her no that admission is not mine. she's on the other side. she said "no she is yours". i know everybody on my floor and this nurse who i never seen before is telling me what to do. so i told her why are you even giving me my assignment i don't even know you and i am not talking to you. i know who i have. she said i was fresh and i told her no you are the one that is being fresh. she said "what's your name?" in

a tone like i should be scared. so i copied her tone of voice and said what's your name. she gave me her name and she asked me again for my name. i gave her my full name. and she said..hmm..i'm going to have a talk

with "jane" (the adon). i told her go ahead.

then when she was about to leave, she borrowed the medroom key from the other nurse and took her purse from the medroom. that's right! her stuff was also in the medroom. see the bullying stuff i am talking about.

after she left, i went to the other nurse and asked who she was and found out she has been in that facility for a long time as a floating agency nurse that she always acts like she knows everything. she told me good for me for standing up to her. i don't know. should i just let "little" things like this go? so don't i don't have to argue with people especially i am new to the facility?

thanks,

angel :banghead:

pagandeva2000, LPN · Sep 14, 2008

Hard to say. There is a part of me that says to ignore the little battles, but save strength for the war, other times, I say to bite it off at the first. What I (try) to do (and that is hard to do quickly) is to assess what point I am trying to make. If it appears to be petty in my eyes, then, I may let it go. However, harassment is not something I want to put up with constantly, because you can easily become a whipping board to everyone.

I have a girlfriend who is so tactful and smooth who has the ability to shut down Satan so politely, that even he would apologise to her empathically, while not losing a bit of respect. I wish I had her talent. I speak to her often, because she calms me down and gets me to think in a different way. I get a point across effectively as well, however, it is a bit more aggressive-not ignorant or beligerent, but I usually scare people away from me. It is successful enough for me, however, I can see how it can get me into a pickle if I were around total strangers. It is just fortunate that I worked in this facility long enough so that my reputation as an excellent team worker does usually precedes or gets there at some point.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Sep 14, 2008

Another suggestion I do have regarding personal property...if the facility allows it, I would carry the most important items in a fanny pack, such as your wallet and car keys. I keep money, wallet, house keys, and cell phone in my fanny. I say this because you are new, and have no idea just how vicious nurses can be. I have heard of many stories where people have stolen personal items from each other simply to make another miserable. What is in my napsack can be replaced, or it doesn't matter as much. It is the personal items, such as ID, money, etc, that can really cause problems for me. I also don't have a locker...have not had one the entire 12 years I worked at this place, and the fanny packs and ID badge holders have saved my life.

lpnflorida · Sep 14, 2008

Aldragon,

Who was in charge of making the assignments? I am just curious is all.

My personality is such I just wouldn't have argued about it. I would have looked to the charge person, if they didn't speak up. I would simply do the admission.

Later in the shift I would speak to the person in charge, voicing my displeasure about how it was handled in private.

I would also later ask to speak to the rude nurse privately, and let them know how I felt they came across. I would not be mad about it, just matter of fact.

agldragonRN · Sep 14, 2008

aldragon,
who was in charge of making the assignments? i am just curious is all.
my personality is such i just wouldn't have argued about it. i would have looked to the charge person, if they didn't speak up. i would simply do the admission.
later in the shift i would speak to the person in charge, voicing my displeasure about how it was handled in private.
i would also later ask to speak to the rude nurse privately, and let them know how i felt they came across. i would not be mad about it, just matter of fact.

there is side i and side ii hall. this is my regular floor so i knew i had side i and the other nurse had side ii. we switch sides every 15th of the month. we always know which sides we have because we are regular nurses on the floor. i probably should just have let it go because it does not matter who has the admission anyway because i would help the regular nurse with the admission and vice versa. regular 3-11 nurses all work together. i am glad they welcomed me very warmly.

i guess my problem was this nurse bullying me starting with the it is against the policy comment right from the start of my shift.

agldragonRN · Sep 14, 2008

another suggestion i do have regarding personal property...if the facility allows it, i would carry the most important items in a fanny pack, such as your wallet and car keys. i keep money, wallet, house keys, and cell phone in my fanny. i say this because you are new, and have no idea just how vicious nurses can be. i have heard of many stories where people have stolen personal items from each other simply to make another miserable. what is in my napsack can be replaced, or it doesn't matter as much. it is the personal items, such as id, money, etc, that can really cause problems for me. i also don't have a locker...have not had one the entire 12 years i worked at this place, and the fanny packs and id badge holders have saved my life.

i guess you are right. my wallet has everything in it. i just trust the people i work with.

agldragonRN · Sep 14, 2008

hard to say. there is a part of me that says to ignore the little battles, but save strength for the war, other times, i say to bite it off at the first. what i (try) to do (and that is hard to do quickly) is to assess what point i am trying to make. if it appears to be petty in my eyes, then, i may let it go. however, harassment is not something i want to put up with constantly, because you can easily become a whipping board to everyone.
i have a girlfriend who is so tactful and smooth who has the ability to shut down satan so politely, that even he would apologise to her empathically, while not losing a bit of respect. i wish i had her talent. i speak to her often, because she calms me down and gets me to think in a different way. i get a point across effectively as well, however, it is a bit more aggressive-not ignorant or beligerent, but i usually scare people away from me. it is successful enough for me, however, i can see how it can get me into a pickle if i were around total strangers. it is just fortunate that i worked in this facility long enough so that my reputation as an excellent team worker does usually precedes or gets there at some point.

i am really going to try very hard to ignore the little battles. i just really don't want to be bullied around.

lpnflorida · Sep 14, 2008

Algdragon,, I am in no way suggesting you need to accept bullying. No one should have to.

I have learned through the years how to get my feelings, messages across to people avoiding anything which would smack of insubordination or disrespect of the other person.

I do not argue. I stand up for myself. I do it privately. I always try and remain calm. If I question my ability to do that , I wait until I feel I can. Understanding it may or may not have any effect on the other person at all. It makes me feel better, and most often I have been lucky enough for the other person to see my perspective. They do not have to agree with me. Only hear me, as I will listen to them. Again I do not have to agree with them, but I will listen.

pagandeva2000, LPN · Sep 14, 2008

i guess you are right. my wallet has everything in it. i just trust the people i work with.

i guess i say this because i work in a large clinic in a large hospital in a highly populated urban area where we see this happen often. patients have helped themselves to employee property often, and then, there are the staff members that have done vicious things. i don't know where you work or the type of neighborhood/setting, etc... but, i tend to think that the less personal it is, the better. meaning that i know i would be over the top in anger if my non-driver id, metrocard and atm cards are missing, i could never get over that...having hints of who probably did it and still having to be civil because there is no real proof would destroy me. in order to keep the peace and to be responsible for my own items of importance, it was easier to use my fannypack as well as the id holders that can contain storage for my lunch money, etc.

when we first got hired, security came to speak to us and made those suggestions. this was 12 years ago and it stayed in my head. as of now, i never had such complaints because i listened very closely. there is a directive that due to the shortage of lockers, employees must share. this has caused more strife than wwii. there was a situation where two employees shared a locker and one took a day off. employee number two allowed a float to share the locker for that day. the following day, when the other returned, she discovered that her cell phone and money was missing. who did it? was it the float? or was it her locker partner, who took an opportunity so that the float can be blamed? started the war of the worlds. i just tend to be overcautious when it comes to things like that...