Are You A Military Wife And In Nursing School?

katmarieRN · Jul 23, 2008

Yup. Well, my dh is National Guard. He's been deployed to Iraq twice (1 year each). He just got back this past Feb. I was doing prereqs during his last deployment. I completely understand what you are going through!! We also have a daughter (who was 7 mos old when he left). The distractions were great, but the stress was tough. And seriously, no one, except mil wives (and maybe girlfriends) get it.

There's a great support network: cinchouse.com for mil spouses. Very active.

I'll keep your dh in my prayers. Stay focused!!!!

natrlmom · Jul 25, 2008

I am a military wife and I am about to start school. My husband was deployed for 15 months and I did all of the pregnancy and the birth alone. It was hard but I made it thru with lots of prayer and support from my family. I know you can do this. Pray and study. HTH

curliegirl80RN · Jul 25, 2008

I'm a military wife and I have 1 semester of nursing school to go! My husband was deployed throughout my last semester, and it was pretty tough handling school, housework, and my 3 year old daughter! Also, we have orders to move at the beginning of October, and I have to stay where I'm at to finish school before I can move with him, since it is impossible to transfer credits to a new school. There's no way I'll quit now when I am sooo close to graduating! Military wives definitely have unique stressors when going through school!

mzjennx, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

Dont quit school curliegirl80, OMG dont. You should finish. I know it hard to pcs, but after you get your degree it would be so worth it. Is there away to get an extention or is his time up?

My husband is in the prcessing of reenlisting for Hawaii, which is where we are now. We are still waiting for the paper work to process but he is suppose to be out be out of the military in October and its almost August. I worry that if the paper works don't go thru he will be umemployed and it will be a lot of pressure for me to finish school, pass my NCLEX, and get a job right away.

I'm trying to be optismistic, but its hard and i feel so frustrated not having a sure future. I want to stay in Hawaii because this is where I am from, and I am interning with a hospital that I love and would offer me a position after I gradudate. If my husband does reenlist there is a possiblity that we can only stay in Hawaii for 2 more years and we will have to PCS afterwards. I would hate to join a company and leave right afterwards. I would like to stay and work for about 3-5 years before leaving....

Do you think i am just being paranoid and overthinking this all? Can you blame?

eljamstudent · Jul 25, 2008

My husband is in the USMC and is currently Afghanistan till Nov. I start school in Aug. I don't have family in the area and its kinda tough. We have a 3yr old DD and a 22 month old DS. It gets frustrating at times because my husband and I work things out in the house together when he's home, so it means more work for me to pick up the slack when he's gone. My DS just started daycare to get ready for me to start school and DD has been going for 3 months. They are doing ok, just missing not being with mommy all the time now.

I think I am more scared that I will alter my schedule and forget to prioritze school when my husband comes home. I am kinda used to dropping everything when he comes home to make him feel at home. This is the first time that I have been out of the house in 2 years, I have been a SAHM and I think he came to depend on me being in the house and its going to be a big adjustment when he gets back. I just want to be able to maintain the routine for school work and study, plus kids and not step on his toes.

I know we are in for a ride. He is already re-enlisting here for another year so that I can finish before we PCS. I feel guilty that I may not be able to be here for him the way that I want to or the way that he wants me to.

Being a military wife has its ups and downs, I am just praying that school will not bring us too far down.

eljamstudent · Jul 25, 2008

I'm a military wife and I have 1 semester of nursing school to go! My husband was deployed throughout my last semester, and it was pretty tough handling school, housework, and my 3 year old daughter! Also, we have orders to move at the beginning of October, and I have to stay where I'm at to finish school before I can move with him, since it is impossible to transfer credits to a new school. There's no way I'll quit now when I am sooo close to graduating! Military wives definitely have unique stressors when going through school!

My husband is re-enlisting for this very reason. He is scheduled to get out when I have only 7 months left and since I know we can't transfer I refuse to move. He doesn't want to be without us so he's doing another 4. What can I say, do I feel bad, yes and no. I want the stability associated with military life, but do not want the stressors of deployment and thats obviously not going to change anytime soon. Here's to hoping that things work out for us all.

NICUplease · Jul 25, 2008

NAVY WIFE HERE! My family just relocated to Oklahoma and its a lot of change all at once. All our family is all in CA, I am no longer working, my son is in a new day care, and I start NS in August. Not to mention, my husband is in a sea duty squadron which basically means the govt can ship him out at anytime.. for months at a time. A military wife needs to have a lot more strength than the average wife. When our husbands are gone, we need to hold it down for the family all by ourself, take care of business in school or work, and WORRY like hell about our men without showing signs of weakness to our kids. Hope to meet more military wives in NS, this would be a great way of sticking together!

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

Hey there everyone. I just wanted to know if there is a community for military wives who are in nursing school. Sometimes I feel so alone being a nursing student with my husband deployed to Iraq. Everyone says its nice to have him away to study, but its just as hard beause I have to study hard and worry about his safety. Is there anyone on the same boat with me who know what I am going through?

I am a military wife - I started nursing school and our son who was 4 months old. He's in the CG, so never deployed to Iraq, but he would stand duty and be gone for a few days at a time. With no family around, that was the difficult part. It's still difficult, but I came from a military family and I also have been in the military, so you learn to look within and your immediate family for what you need. I also had to find a few very dependable daycare providers. That was the largest hurdle was daycare - and financially stretching costs... aghhh, that was hard.

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

Dont quit school curliegirl80, OMG dont. You should finish. I know it hard to pcs, but after you get your degree it would be so worth it. Is there away to get an extention or is his time up?
My husband is in the prcessing of reenlisting for Hawaii, which is where we are now. We are still waiting for the paper work to process but he is suppose to be out be out of the military in October and its almost August. I worry that if the paper works don't go thru he will be umemployed and it will be a lot of pressure for me to finish school, pass my NCLEX, and get a job right away.
I'm trying to be optismistic, but its hard and i feel so frustrated not having a sure future. I want to stay in Hawaii because this is where I am from, and I am interning with a hospital that I love and would offer me a position after I gradudate. If my husband does reenlist there is a possiblity that we can only stay in Hawaii for 2 more years and we will have to PCS afterwards. I would hate to join a company and leave right afterwards. I would like to stay and work for about 3-5 years before leaving....
Do you think i am just being paranoid and overthinking this all? Can you blame?

you need to take a deep breath - let that burden lie on your hubby for the re-enlistment and not let that weigh on you. You need to focus on getting through and THEN you both can reap the benefits of you finding a secure job. If you can't stay in a location b/c of his job, then so be it - many of us have done it and you can too. Many people job hop for whatever reason. YOu will gain experience wherever you go and through the different places you work, you'll be a better nurse. Hang in there. You mention that if your hubby doesn't re-enlist that you'd only be in Hawaii for two more years, why not then re-enlist? Why would he not do that if he doesn't have a secure job on the outside? Particularly if you haven't graduated and found a job... then both of you will be out of work.

MassED, BSN, RN · Jul 25, 2008

My husband is in the USMC and is currently Afghanistan till Nov. I start school in Aug. I don't have family in the area and its kinda tough. We have a 3yr old DD and a 22 month old DS. It gets frustrating at times because my husband and I work things out in the house together when he's home, so it means more work for me to pick up the slack when he's gone. My DS just started daycare to get ready for me to start school and DD has been going for 3 months. They are doing ok, just missing not being with mommy all the time now.
I think I am more scared that I will alter my schedule and forget to prioritze school when my husband comes home. I am kinda used to dropping everything when he comes home to make him feel at home. This is the first time that I have been out of the house in 2 years, I have been a SAHM and I think he came to depend on me being in the house and its going to be a big adjustment when he gets back. I just want to be able to maintain the routine for school work and study, plus kids and not step on his toes.
I know we are in for a ride. He is already re-enlisting here for another year so that I can finish before we PCS. I feel guilty that I may not be able to be here for him the way that I want to or the way that he wants me to.
Being a military wife has its ups and downs, I am just praying that school will not bring us too far down.

he'll understand if he and some other things (like a perfectly kept house, hot meals, etc) are not the top priority and that adjustments will be made. A mature guy understands this. It is hard, but think of the end result: you having a secure job and flexibility for your kids (and him). We had a rough go of it too, but it's worth it. Hang in there. He'll help pick up the slack when he's home, hopefully, to make you feel like you can have a bit of a break. School and taking care of kids is hard - the guilt on top of it isn't necessary - they're young, they'll be fine. Try to do your homework after you've played with them and are there 100%, so you won't feel guilty when it's time for getting down to the nitty gritty - then you'll be there 100% for your school work. Same goes for hubby - if he helps out when he's home, then you both can have time for each other after the work's done. Don't feel bad if you're not doing it all, hubby's should be helping out - after all, you've had the kids the entire time he's been gone, right? Not an easy job.... then to add school on top of that... weehew!

eljamstudent · Jul 25, 2008

he'll understand if he and some other things (like a perfectly kept house, hot meals, etc) are not the top priority and that adjustments will be made. A mature guy understands this. It is hard, but think of the end result: you having a secure job and flexibility for your kids (and him). We had a rough go of it too, but it's worth it. Hang in there. He'll help pick up the slack when he's home, hopefully, to make you feel like you can have a bit of a break. School and taking care of kids is hard - the guilt on top of it isn't necessary - they're young, they'll be fine. Try to do your homework after you've played with them and are there 100%, so you won't feel guilty when it's time for getting down to the nitty gritty - then you'll be there 100% for your school work. Same goes for hubby - if he helps out when he's home, then you both can have time for each other after the work's done. Don't feel bad if you're not doing it all, hubby's should be helping out - after all, you've had the kids the entire time he's been gone, right? Not an easy job.... then to add school on top of that... weehew!

I agree with you. I know he'll be great about it when he gets home. He is always telling me how he wishes he could be cooking and changing the kids and bath time and all the other lucky things I get to do. Lucky, not so sure, but happy to do it nonetheless.:loveya::redbeathe