Anyone Else Experience Mobbing?

[WeakAnkles]

Hi~

I have been at my new job for over a year now and have become the victim of mobbing by my peers in the ICU where I work.

I have tried every approach with this but nothing has helped my situation. I am going to have to leave this job for it to end.

It has caused me to become depressed, anxious at times, and I have gained weight.

I have also seen mobbing occur at other units where I have worked. I am wondering how prevalent this is now among nurses.

[sayitgirl]

Thats the problem. By trying to stop it, you thereby empower it. And it continues on. If you fail to recognize it, then it cant be empowered to go on. By itself it just dies without confrontation.

Also do not blame management. People like to blame management. Management isnt always the problem, and they are not always the answer to a problem.

Sometimes you have to recognize the problem and accept responsibility for it. Deal with but dont confront this kind of problem. It is empowered by confrontation. This kind of confrontation will only cause you to lose. Why lose.

You are living in a fairy tale, management is the direct reason for it happening because they allow it. You must work for management to be so supportive. If it happened to you once, you would understand the feeling behind all of these comments.

This would be a very useful website for you to read

http://www.leymann.se/English/12310E.HTM

[teeituptom, BSN, RN]

You are living in a fairy tale, management is the direct reason for it happening because they allow it. You must work for management to be so supportive. If it happened to you once, you would understand the feeling behind all of these comments.

This would be a very useful website for you to read

http://www.leymann.se/English/12310E.HTM

I went to that site. Read it thoroughly. At your suggestion. I got two impressions while reading this. And I will keep this polite. One, I was amazed that someone had actually put together an Encyclopedia of Mobbing. Two, I was amazed at their statistics on ALLEDGED mobbing. Personally, I can't even begin to fathom this.

Yes, I used to be admin. But I am just staff now, I missed bedside nursing. And there are fewer meetings for me to put up with. But that has nothing to do with my outlook. I dont see mobbing as any type of significant problem. I dont see lateral violence as any type of sugnificant problem, I dont see bullying as any type of significant problem. I dont see nurses eating their young. I won't tell you what I do see, as being a problem though.

Peace, Love, Golf

Tommy

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

I went to that site. Read it thoroughly. At your suggestion. I got two impressions while reading this. And I will keep this polite. One, I was amazed that someone had actually put together an Encyclopedia of Mobbing. Two, I was amazed at their statistics on ALLEDGED mobbing. Personally, I can't even begin to fathom this.

Peace, Love, Golf

Tommy

I appreciate you being respectful Tommy.

Your opinion needs to be respected as well without being told you live in a fairytale. Mutual respect of each others opinions and life experiences is imporant.

Personally, I can't fathom that mobbing is widespread either, as I've never seen it and it never happened to me. So it's not an issue I feel needs to be addressed in my immediate little world. I have to appreciate those who have been mobbed and that they need resources to cope and deal, and to end it. I wound buy into the idea that it's rampant.

[Nurseynurseyme]

I went to that site. Read it thoroughly. At your suggestion. I got two impressions while reading this. And I will keep this polite. One, I was amazed that someone had actually put together an Encyclopedia of Mobbing. Two, I was amazed at their statistics on ALLEDGED mobbing. Personally, I can't even begin to fathom this.

Yes, I used to be admin. But I am just staff now, I missed bedside nursing. And there are fewer meetings for me to put up with. But that has nothing to do with my outlook. I dont see mobbing as any type of significant problem. I dont see lateral violence as any type of sugnificant problem, I dont see bullying as any type of significant problem. I dont see nurses eating their young. I won't tell you what I do see, as being a problem though.

Peace, Love, Golf

Tommy

OK, ouch.

Well if you don't believe any of it and have never seen any of it then what would be the point of reading threads about mobbing? Just poking people with a sharp stick (verbally) and see what happens?

No golf today to amuse you? (ok couldn't resist that).

The fact that it has a name at all then is curious if it doesn't exist. Plus it seems odd to me that so many people are having some sort of problem...and they're all similar.

That's sort of like (for lack of another analogy-this is the first that comes to mind quickly) an atheist reading catholic or other religious websites and then posting all over that God doesn't exist.

Seems kind of mean spirited.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

OK, ouch.

Well if you don't believe any of it and have never seen any of it then what would be the point of reading threads about mobbing? Just poking people with a sharp stick (verbally) and see what happens?

No golf today to amuse you? (ok couldn't resist that).

The fact that it has a name at all then is curious if it doesn't exist. Plus it seems odd to me that so many people are having some sort of problem...and they're all similar.

That's sort of like (for lack of another analogy-this is the first that comes to mind quickly) an atheist reading catholic or other religious websites and then posting all over that God doesn't exist.

Seems kind of mean spirited.

I wasn't reading that he was saying it doesn't exist. His personal way of dealing with it is to deny it, and by denying it not giving it power, etc. etc. It seems to work for him because he isn't bullied or mobbed. If I were you I would just agree to disagree and move on.

Personally, it's not the approach I take. I would confront the situation constructively. I'm fortunate not to have been bullied/mobbed myself, but know that it exists, and trust me I'm ready.

[sayitgirl]

I went to that site. Read it thoroughly. At your suggestion. I got two impressions while reading this. And I will keep this polite. One, I was amazed that someone had actually put together an Encyclopedia of Mobbing. Two, I was amazed at their statistics on ALLEDGED mobbing. Personally, I can't even begin to fathom this.

Yes, I used to be admin. But I am just staff now, I missed bedside nursing. And there are fewer meetings for me to put up with. But that has nothing to do with my outlook. I dont see mobbing as any type of significant problem. I dont see lateral violence as any type of sugnificant problem, I dont see bullying as any type of significant problem. I dont see nurses eating their young. I won't tell you what I do see, as being a problem though.

Peace, Love, Golf

Tommy

Well

Most men are not exposed to hostile workplace environment, it is a female thing. But as I mentioned before if it happens to you or someone that you care about you will have a different outlook.

You are fortunate in your career that you have never seen this, kind of hard to believe though.

Enjoy your golf Tommy

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Well

Most men are not exposed to hostile workplace environment, it is a female thing. But as I mentioned before if it happens to you or someone that you care about you will have a different outlook.

You are fortunate in your career that you have never seen this, kind of hard to believe though.

Enjoy your golf Tommy

There are plenty of females that haven't been mobbed or bullied in their careers. It might be true that the majority of those bullied in nursing are bullied female on female, but don't surrender to the idea that "it's a female thing" like the old "boys will be boys" concept.

While we're at it, let's allow Tom to be Tom without ganging up on him. LOL

[Nurseynurseyme]

I wasn't reading that he was saying it doesn't exist. His personal way of dealing with it is to deny it, and by denying it not giving it power, etc. etc. It seems to work for him because he isn't bullied or mobbed. If I were you I would just agree to disagree and move on.

Personally, it's not the approach I take. I would confront the situation constructively. I'm fortunate not to have been bullied/mobbed myself, but know that it exists, and trust me I'm ready.

Understood. Thanks for the input. Truth to tell I read that and my mouth just hung open. It seemed like he was hovering around denying everyone's experience. I didn't get the point.

You've been a nurse for a long time, you've seen this kind of thing happen...what would you tell a friend who came to you upset who was going through this? It might be helpful to others!

Thanks.

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

Understood. Thanks for the input. Truth to tell I read that and my mouth just hung open. It seemed like he was hovering around denying everyone's experience. I didn't get the point.

You've been a nurse for a long time, you've seen this kind of thing happen...what would you tell a friend who came to you upset who was going through this? It might be helpful to others!

Thanks.

Fortunatley, as I've posted before I don't see bullyling and mobbing much.

As a charge nurse when someone reports something to me. My first question is "I appreciate you coming to me, as I need to know this, but what did they say when you talked to them about it."

I am a fan of direct confrontation with the person first, prior to going to management. Managment is very ineffective. Often it's just a misunderstanding, the person was having a bad day, or they truly are a bully but will back off from the person confronting.

I advise people to say things each and every time the person does something. "Yesterday we discussed how it feels when you ignore me during report, and you're doing it again, do you mean to do that". The broken record routine. When things are obviously not working, then you approach management with details. Not "she's bullying me". But with specifics "on three occasions she ignored me during report", "on two occasions she lied about me behind my back", etc etc etc.

Consistent followup and consistent assertive confrontation.

There's a good book called "Crucial Confrontations" that might help people.

[Nurseynurseyme]

Fortunatley, as I've posted before I don't see bullyling and mobbing much.

As a charge nurse when someone reports something to me. My first question is "I appreciate you coming to me, as I need to know this, but what did they say when you talked to them about it."

I am a fan of direct confrontation with the person first, prior to going to management. Managment is very ineffective. Often it's just a misunderstanding, the person was having a bad day, or they truly are a bully but will back off from the person confronting.

I advise people to say things each and every time the person does something. "Yesterday we discussed how it feels when you ignore me during report, and you're doing it again, do you mean to do that". The broken record routine. When things are obviously not working, then you approach management with details. Not "she's bullying me". But with specifics "on three occasions she ignored me during report", "on two occasions she lied about me behind my back", etc etc etc.

Consistent followup and consistent assertive confrontation.

There's a good book called "Crucial Confrontations" that might help people.

Thanks! That is a good idea.

When something like this happened to me, I really didn't understand what was going on, I was still in school and I was unsure of myself and I got to the point I was so flustered that it was hard to do what I was supposed to do. It's only with the passage of time that I realize what was happening.

I think if I had had the wherewithal to confront the person and defend myself that it might have helped me. She would tell me good things alone but in front of people she would make negative observations (about the same occurrences!) and I was completely intimidated.

Now I feel more sure of myself, and I am more apt to call the person on it.

Still, I might take a look at your book!

:)

Thanks again.

[Mulan]

I don't think it happens to men.

[cooblu]

okay tommy do you believe in "mobbing

" now? does not matter either way it does, as a traveler i get to experience it now and then. i take advantage of them when they are not scheduled together, my advice is to take this opportunity and be relentless. nurses are always asking for help to move patients, etc. doctors do this as well. i'm not insubordinate but i do get hard of hearing, and very slow to accommodate. when i leave (which is as soon as possible) i let it be known why i won't be back and why i will warn other travelers off. what goes around- comes around.