Anyone who can help?

SNtoRN · Nov 15, 2007

I'll be taking my first NCLEX this Dec. 18, 2007. I'm feeling ambivalent right now. I just learned I'm 1 1/2 month pregnant and still have not yet told my dear mom about it. My guy and I have been together for the past 6 years and we're not yet married, neither do we have any plans at the moment. When the result of the pregnancy test came, our world came crashing down. I know my mom will really freak out because I'll be taking my NCLEX next month and then this pregnancy happened... Any advices? I'm having some difficulty concentrating on my NCLEX because of this. It may not seem a hard problem for some, but for me, it's really awful. I've been answering computer based questions in my review, and crying the whole night about this.. I need some boost here.. I'm so crappy right now..

First off, CONGRATULATIONS!! Making a positive out of a potential negative is the first step to accepting & moving passed whatever obstacle comes your way. Believe that everything happens for a reason and that this is not necessarily a bad thing.

I can certainly relate to the anxiety of telling your mother. I was not married when I had my first child and thought my world would come crashing down. SURPRISE, it didn't. My mother was not happy about the news at first but 14 years later she can't imagine her life without her grandchildren (two years later I married my husband, we have two more children and my mother couldn't be happier).

I did put college on the back burner to raise my kids but never lost sight of my dream to one day be an RN. It took me a while but here I am today and I'm sure you will be there one day as well! THINK POSITIVE, embrase your new status of mom-to-be and follow your dreams. Having children is not a roadblock nearly a bump along the way which makes our lives that much better. Keep in mind that you have 8 more months to deal with the pregnancy but only a few weeks before you take the NCLEX - put your FOCUS ON YOUR EXAM and don't worry about anything else right now.

I hope this helps you and I wish you the best of luck!!

lenjoy03, RN · Nov 15, 2007

I'll be taking my first NCLEX this Dec. 18, 2007. I'm feeling ambivalent right now. I just learned I'm 1 1/2 month pregnant and still have not yet told my dear mom about it. My guy and I have been together for the past 6 years and we're not yet married, neither do we have any plans at the moment. When the result of the pregnancy test came, our world came crashing down. I know my mom will really freak out because I'll be taking my NCLEX next month and then this pregnancy happened... Any advices? I'm having some difficulty concentrating on my NCLEX because of this. It may not seem a hard problem for some, but for me, it's really awful. I've been answering computer based questions in my review, and crying the whole night about this.. I need some boost here.. I'm so crappy right now..

As much as I want to give you a very long sermon, I'd rather not do it. Although I've never been in that kind of situation, I understand what you feel. First of all, ask yourself what are your plans regarding your pregnancy? I thought of 2 options.

First, easier said than done, I think its better if your tell your parents about this. Its a natural reaction that they'll really freak out at first! But what can they do? This is the source of your problem and I think it would be ineffective if you carry this kind of problem while studying for the exam and most especially taking the exam itself! This way, I think you'll be taking the exam with only one problem, PASSING IT!!! Then after that, that's the time you do something about this.

Second option, tell them after you have taken the exam! But you were not able to concentrate properly while studying and taking the exam. When you pass, you tell them, they get disappointed but its over.... When you fail, you tell them, they get double disappointment... Its your choice....

angel wifey · Nov 16, 2007

THANKS SNtoRN and lenjoy03 for your advices! I know you two have a point. It will really be a double jeopardy if I tell my mom (my dad died when I was in my 1st year highschool.. about 9 years ago) after my NCLEX and a big disappontment to her if I also fail. My mom is also a NURSE and I think she's suspecting there's something wrong with me. You know the usual pregnancy.. Gaining weight, and the big surprise was that she asked me why I still don't have my menstruation. You really cannot play around the bush with a nurse! (Oh no!) I'll take into consideration all your advices and I think I really cannot keep this long enough. I'm glad I was able to vent out my agony and misery here in allnurses.com.

pisceanbabe74, LPN, LVN · Nov 16, 2007

hmmmm, seems like your mom already knows whats going on and she's just waiting for you to speak up. anyway, we wish you luck! maybe it would be better if you tell your mom, talk to her heart to heart communication, admit your mistake, and tell her you need her especially these times. then "focus" on your review & lean to god. god bless you!

Sabby_NC · Nov 16, 2007

Bless your heart. Oh mothers intuition I bet she already knows.

I wish you well in your future nursing career and even more so with the love of a child you will soon have.

Life is never as bad as we think it is eh?

It is amazing how we cope in any given situation.

Step back away from the anxiety and look at what is going on in your life. Women do this all the time. Study, fall pregnant, do exam (pass) and work around the little one.

It takes two to tango. You have created a baby out of love. Nothing grander if you ask me.

Surprises happen that is for sure but there is a reason for all that happens in our lives.

Smile and pat the li'l tummy for me :)

lenjoy03, RN · Nov 16, 2007

Praying for you.... I hope your mom will understand and after that, you pass NCLEX.

tflorn · Nov 18, 2007

a brief history: i had my 1st son at 15 yrs old, unmarried, dropped out of high school in 9th grade, no support from anyone but my mom, not to mention my father disowned me. but look at me now!!!!

2 kids, 2 degrees and a registered nurse. im just telling you that, its not the end of the world, everything happens for a reason. continue with your plan regardless of the situation. you know what is best for you. anything you go thru, will only make you stronger. pray and always keep god first and youll see what he will do for you. it will all fall into place. its promised.

-tflorn

angel wifey · Nov 19, 2007

Thanks for the advices you gave me. I still don't have any news to tell right now. I'm still groping enough strength to tell my mom about this. But my guy and I are already concocting a plan on what will we do, how will we tell, and also planning for the future. Our common friend who knows about this told us that as along as we are together and that we love each other, then that's really not much of a problem. I'm praying right now for the kind hearted souls who adviced me on what to do. God bless your pathways! Thanks again guys!

CT Pixie, BSN, RN · Nov 19, 2007

I was your age when I became pregnant. My situation was different in that I was not a few months from having a profession that would make the situation much more easy for me and all involved. I was a CNA working the 3-11 shift, living at home w/my Mom. Me and my then boyfriend (now my hubby) were having a rough patch..long story short..I had my daughter, her father and I split for a couple of years and then reunited and married. I never regret my decisions in regards to having her or putting my life plans on hold in order to be the best Mom I could be to my daughter. My Mom wasn't happy, nor was she devistated when I told her. I felt such relief when I did..I had someone to lean on and someone to help me through everything.

Tell your Mom. Although, knowing how moms intuition is, like the other said, she probably already knows and is waiting for you to tell her.

An upside to this...at least you became pregnant AFTER getting through school and not during.

Keep your chin up, you can and will get through this. I hope it helps to know that there are so many others here that have been through what you are going through and have made it just fine.

I wish you a great pregnancy, a healthy happy baby, and a big ol'..YOU PASSED letter from NCLEX! I think once you get through the test and pass, you'll see that the baby issues aren't as bleak and daunting as you thought before.

God bless..good luck.

angel wifey · Nov 21, 2007

A big thanks to the recent posts here. I'll let you guys know what will happen. We were planning to tell this by tomorrow. I'm just praying that God will give my mom the strength that she needs. It will be shocking news to her so.. I'm still not resting my case here...

lenjoy03, RN · Nov 24, 2007

A big thanks to the recent posts here. I'll let you guys know what will happen. We were planning to tell this by tomorrow. I'm just praying that God will give my mom the strength that she needs. It will be shocking news to her so.. I'm still not resting my case here...

Hi! Have you told your mom? What happened? I hope things went well....