Any new grads having problems with their preceptors?

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Sep 16, 2013

By three months, though, you should have a decent idea of what you're doing. Perhaps she's teaching you tasks you need to know? Perhaps at three months she figures you'll come to her if you have a question or need help, and because she's more experienced than you are, she's sitting while you're "busting your tail" because she's more organized?

I guess I don't understand what kind of help you think you need here. You're almost done with orientation. The time will pass. If you don't want to hang out with her socially, just smile nicely (not snarkily) and say no thank you.

Fact is, she isn't "making" you miserable. YOU are choosing to feel miserable. Give that over and let it go. You will have a great many opportunities in working and general life to make that choice, so start now.

But if you ever find yourself in a similar position, don't let it go for THREE MONTHS unaddressed. And be a better preceptor when it's your turn to help newbies.

chrisrn24 · Sep 17, 2013

At the end of my orientation my preceptor told me "okay you're on your own tonight come grab me with questions."

weirdscience · Sep 17, 2013

OP's preceptor likely does have more free time because she's more organized, but I still find it inappropriate to sit around tapping on your cell phone while precepting someone. As a recent grad, I realize I have a way to go when it comes to organization/prioritization, but it steams me when I am busting my tail all night long pushing PRN's and cleaning/turning people and many of the experienced nurses AND CA's are sitting around texting or watching videos on their phones. To me, work is work. This is my second career, and nowhere else that I've worked did it fly to let your coworker drown while you sat on your rear and texted or gossiped. It seems to be a very nursing-specific phenomenon.

OP, realize that part of the preceptor/mentee relationship is the "breakup" phase--they're sick of you, and you of them. It's good for you to want to be on your own, as long as you retain a hefty measure of "I don't know it all and I'll ask questions when I'm out of my depth."

uRNmyway, ASN, RN · Sep 17, 2013

OP's preceptor likely does have more free time because she's more organized, but I still find it inappropriate to sit around tapping on your cell phone while precepting someone. As a recent grad, I realize I have a way to go when it comes to organization/prioritization, but it steams me when I am busting my tail all night long pushing PRN's and cleaning/turning people and many of the experienced nurses AND CA's are sitting around texting or watching videos on their phones. To me, work is work. This is my second career, and nowhere else that I've worked did it fly to let your coworker drown while you sat on your rear and texted or gossiped. It seems to be a very nursing-specific phenomenon.
OP, realize that part of the preceptor/mentee relationship is the "breakup" phase--they're sick of you, and you of them. It's good for you to want to be on your own, as long as you retain a hefty measure of "I don't know it all and I'll ask questions when I'm out of my depth."

Beg to differ. I was a waitress and bartender for years before becoming a nurse. As a bartender, the only time I got help is if the other girls thought they'd keep the tips for it. As a waitress, most of the time, I only got help if my boss told others to do something. So no, it's not just nursing. I think what it is is specific to the unit and the team you work with. I've been lucky enough to work with wonderful people in the past, who had the mentality that no one sat down until everyone sat down.

Also, keep in mind that behavior tends to come back to you. Ie if you offer help to others they are more likely to offer it back.

And I'll agree with the previous posters, if you are at the end of your three month orientation, you shouldn't need your preceptor to hold your hand anymore. Because when you are on your own, you will be elected to handle all that alone. Others week be there to answer questions, but with their own assignments, you will have to do all of it alone.

uRNmyway, ASN, RN · Sep 17, 2013

OP's preceptor likely does have more free time because she's more organized, but I still find it inappropriate to sit around tapping on your cell phone while precepting someone. As a recent grad, I realize I have a way to go when it comes to organization/prioritization, but it steams me when I am busting my tail all night long pushing PRN's and cleaning/turning people and many of the experienced nurses AND CA's are sitting around texting or watching videos on their phones. To me, work is work. This is my second career, and nowhere else that I've worked did it fly to let your coworker drown while you sat on your rear and texted or gossiped. It seems to be a very nursing-specific phenomenon.
OP, realize that part of the preceptor/mentee relationship is the "breakup" phase--they're sick of you, and you of them. It's good for you to want to be on your own, as long as you retain a hefty measure of "I don't know it all and I'll ask questions when I'm out of my depth."

Beg to differ. I was a waitress and bartender for years before becoming a nurse. As a bartender, the only time I got help is if the other girls thought they'd keep the tips for it. As a waitress, most of the time, I only got help if my boss told others to do something. So no, it's not just nursing. I think what it is is specific to the unit and the team you work with. I've been lucky enough to work with wonderful people in the past, who had the mentality that no one sat down until everyone sat down.

Also, keep in mind that behavior tends to come back to you. Ie if you offer help to others they are more likely to offer it back.

And I'll agree with the previous posters, if you are at the end of your three month orientation, you shouldn't need your preceptor to hold your hand anymore. Because when you are on your own, you will be elected to handle all that alone. Others will be there to answer questions, but with their own assignments, you will have to do all of it alone.

FineAgain · Sep 17, 2013

My preceptor was great. She gave me the skills I needed to survive a 7 patient assignment on a busy med/surg night. I expected her to not do anything -- she was there to back me up, to answer questions and to push me through. I wouldn't have cared if she was doing crossword puzzles with her feet up, it was my assignment and I needed to do the work. All of it. She always had my back if I was in trouble or had questions. Bottom line? After my 6 week orientation I was able to hit the ground running.

canned_bread · Sep 18, 2013

Woah! It sounds like your preceptor is young and a little immature and is finding professional boundaries a little hard. Some people love educating (I'm one of them) and some people simply don't. So I guess she is someone who doesn't want to do it. It's not your fault though.

I can't think of anything you can do except finish the new grad placement and then move on. Also, there is no harm in saying you don't want to hang with colleagues.