Any ideas? Please help!

Hippienurse,

Breathe. Breathe, again.

Who knows why the sudden change of heart. Maybe a "legal" issue came up after the poo hit the fan. Maybe they don't have a need for you in that job? Who knows.

The big issue here is your recovery!

Sometimes we don't see the BIG picture, for the fear of what is in front of us at the moment. Everything you have described sounds like "situational" stressors. Things that could easily re-route your recovery plan. So, focus on YOU.

If for some reason your job is not available to you, then it's not meant to be. I know that sounds really stupid, but maybe it's not the time and place for you right now. And if that's the case, I'm not saying it is, but if it is, there WILL be the right job for you at the right time.

NEVER did I think that a few years ago I'd be where I am today, but I have a job that doesn't have the "triggers" for me that I've had in the past, and something that I've really come to love. NEVER would I have chosen this path. But looking back, it's the BEST place for me at this time.

Look, I know it sounds crazy, but you have your sobriety. All else will come into place. PROMISE. If need be, get out of nursing for a while and try something else to pay the bills. Be thankful for the time you had on FMLA and disability. It was a miracle!

Good luck and big ((((((HUGS))))))) your way. I promise it will all work out!!

On June 25th I was taken out of work by my manager. I was told there was a "red flag" about narcotic pulls, etc. I caved immediately and admitted I had diverted and wanted help. I am a chronic pain sufferer, on pain meds and had been very stressed out--which made it all worse. It happened over a 2 month time period. It took them three weeks (thru getting management together to meet, to getting my test results back, etc) to tell me I still had my job was being put on personal leave and that I needed to seek treatment. They gave me FMLA and disability paperwork. I was SO grateful and thought it was a miracle they let me keep my job! They told me I would have to sign a last chance agreement when I came back, and submit to random UA's, etc.

I had already self-reported to the board and was going thru that process as well. Two days after this meeting my Mother died.

I sought treatment at one center, their decision was "inconclusive" and they wanted me to go inpatient for 2-3 days at a cost of 3000 upfront. I had no money so I had to find another center to be assessed out. Took me a month to get into another place. Meanwhile I went to my counselor thru EAP and NA. New assessment was done and treatment started. Board investigation completed and they accepted me into their monitoring program and my license will be unrestricted in a few weeks. My counselor at treatment and doctor both believe this was situational, and that I am doing very well and have released me to go back to work on Nov. 1st.

Here is the problem. When I called in to discuss with them coming back to work, getting contracts signed with the board, finding out the in's and out's of coming back to work the same person I have been working with in HR all this time said "Well, once your license is unrestricted and you are cleared to come back to work, we will do an investigation and decide what corrective action will be taken." I asked what that meant, if she meant the last chance agreement. She said no, that they would do an investigation into the "theft and diversion of the narcotics" and decide whether I would be terminated or not.

After all of this time. This was today. Would they fire me after telling me what they had before, me going thru every step they asked, being cleared by the board, docs and treatment? I just don't get why they didn't tell me this upfront. Or why they would keep me on, paying my bennies and PTO if they were just going to fire me at the end of it all.

Any thoughts? I am going nuts now not knowing. I am out of money, short term disability was denied because my counselor and doctor believe I am fit for work, etc. So if I don't get back to work (which I was so happy to find out would be Nov 1--and now isn't) I will be out on the street. If I had known I waas going to be fired in the beginning I could have at least had the oney to move my family back to where I have family. Now I have nothing, have spent everything, maxed out cards, needing to declare bankruptcy, etc...I feel like they should have been more upfront if this is how it would work. Is this normal course of action?

Any ideas would be great.

I went thru a similar thing, where I was given a LOA, and required to get treatment. I worked with EAP and signed releases for EAP to talk with HR, my manager, and my treatment center and this kept HR in the loop as to what I was doing and provided them a time frame for my return to work.

I am very surprised that the EAP you mention is not involved with your return to work and any discussions with HR, and that HR is just now considering the need to investigate and have a hearing about any corrective action. I would definitely ask for details on this, especially since you admitted guilt when they confronted you and that the diversion was the result of active addiction, which you admitted and asked for help. I am not a lawyer and would suggest that you consider calling someone who is experienced in labor laws and ADA law but I suspect that they are within their legal rights to fire someone who has stolen meds ... regardless of why,

It may deter them from taking action if you mention that you are seeking legal advice, but who knows??

I would need to hear more as far as what you have discussed with HR, and how often, as well as what area you willl return to, if your contract has restrictions as far as narcs, and shifts and OT, and if there are jobs open that would be better for your recovery, and also what state

There is some very good advice here. I would like to stress that your recovery should take top priority. If you are out of money, go get a different job. Nursing is not the only job in the world... I know you were expecting to return to this job, but it sounds like they may not take you back. Get up in the morning, and start looking for a new job. You are approved to return to work, so you don't HAVE TO return to the same place.

It might be difficult to find a job somewhere else, but it is what 90% of other recovering nurses have to go through.. most of us were fired and went through the ordeal of many many interviews until we found someone that was willing to let a recovering addict work for them. Do I have to tell you how lucky you are to have gotten ANY benefits at all from this job so far?? They could have fired you on the spot but they didn't. If you love nursing, and you love your sobriety, keep working on finding a job in nursing and if you can't find one right away,,, walmart, burger king,, or hey.. starbucks! It is money...

There are so many things you should be concentrating on now... your recovery has the top priority and THEN a job. Whether it be in nursing, or in another field,, you must find a job that doesn't stress you out and cause any pain or stressors that might trigger using. Be strong, , don't break down.. and look... it is not the end of the world if they don't take you back. You screwed up. It can be argued that they are discriminating against you, but the reality is that they may not want the liability of a recovering nurse working for them. God knows there have been many many nurses who have relapsed.

They have a business to run, and you have a recovery to work on.

Be strong!

Great post, Mag! I was one of the "unlucky" ones that did not have a nursing job to return to. My facility fired me when I admitted to diversion. I went back to a former place of employment as a pizza delivery driver. That was in hindsight, very beneficial for me early in recovery. Thankfully, I did get a second chance at a local hospital that was more open minded about giving recovering nurses a chance.

I am so thankful for the recovery threads here. I just wish that when I was early in my recovery back in 1999 that I knew about AN.

Thanks to all of you!!

Anne, RNC

Thanks everyone. I know recovery is #1. My post was more centered on whether anyone had any experience with the facility not firing the person right after admission to diversion, letting them be on leave and get treatment and get into monitoring. And THEN firing them after all of that. After paying me bennies that whole time, etc. Just wondering anyones thoughts on that.

I have seen that one time. Not with me, but I'm not sure if it can be compared to your experience or not. This facility had management that was a little "off". Not a good way to explain it.

When money is the reason a facility exists and operates, then they will do whatever they can to make and save money. This could work either way with you.

First of all, you're already trained, and if you go through appropriate recovery programs and are proven to be in good recovery, they may see it as they will be losing money if they fire you, since they've already trained you .. etc.

On the other hand, the liability of having an addicted nurse on staff is enormous. This place was already burned by you once, who's to say that one day after you come back that you don't screw up again? But this time costing a life?

Also, not sure if you are back working there now or not, or how you feel about this, but I wanted a fresh start. There's no way I would have worked around the nurses that I worked with when I got caught. I found a less stressful job and started over, telling only who I had to and the select few that I wanted to.

I am not trying to be mean or evil to you in this post, just giving it to you straight, because that's what you need right now, the hard truth.

I just wonder why they didn't fire me day one, yannow?

I would be happy to go back to work with my co-workers. They know ME and they know this doesn't define me. Some of them aren't so nice but alot are and I look forward to earning their trust back.

The money thing always amazes me. I had this problem with my son. he was literally begging for help but couldn't get any because of no funds, no insurance. If you don't have cash you are just SOL. The only people who can get help are the ones with the cash.

There ought to be avenues to help people who are broke. I finally had to check my son into the state mental hospital and then they referred him to treatment so the state paid for it. He had to go through that extra trauma just to be able to get some treatment. I called everywhere in the state and it was just "too bad, so sad" because of funding.