Another feeling stupid thread... Need encouragement

Nurses New Nurse

Published

I am so mad at myself. I have beating myself up all weekend. My husband has to be sick of me saying the same things over and over again. I hate being new! I hate it. I am a brand new nurse. Graduated in February. I've been on the floor 2 weeks right now doing postpartum (mom & baby). I feel totally stupid and incompetent. I hesitated posting here because I am very aware that cyberspace is really a small place and is not as anonymous as people think, but I really need encouragement so here goes. Oh well maybe my coworkers will anonymously post words of support (or advice or a smack upside the head or whatever it takes for me to be a good nurse.) My assessments suck! I am completely embarrassed for missing things (and I think my preceptor thinks I'm stupid now). I have been playing Taylor Swift's Shake it Off all weekend to get my brain back on track. I am mostly sucking at assessments. Of course that may be because I haven't had much opportunity to do anything else. I have done head to toe assessments, but my school did a lot of focused assessments too. I missed tons of things I should have been covering in a head to toe assessment, but I didn't think of asking. I forgot some obvious steps in my assessment that I should not have missed. Also I can't hear heart murmurs on newborns to save my life right now (working on that). Struggling with telling what's abnormal on newborns in head to toe assessments and hearing "you know what normal looks like" though doesn't help because I guess I realized this week that NO I don't know what normal looks like! I'm a brand new nurse. So, what I did all weekend was look at pictures, tons of pictures of newborns, variations of normal, and abnormal. I listened to heart murmurs until my head hurt (and still not sure if I can recognize one). My husband assures me that I just graduated from school and I should be making mistakes right now and that's why I have a preceptor. All that being said, I want to do a good job. I don't like looking stupid. I don't want my preceptor to think I'm incompetent. I don't care if she thinks I'm good at this point, just not that I'm a complete moron. I don't think they orient a lot of new grads on this floor. Please gals and guys support, encouragement, tips for doing better with assessments, tips for not looking like a moron. I'm doing fine with skills and medications thus far. I don't think my time management is horrible, but assessments need serious work and that I know is the biggest part of nursing. I really, really want to do a good job. I want my third week on the floor to go better than the first two. Thanks.

I started on L&D as my first job about 9 months ago and felt the same way. So-first of all, you are NORMAL! We all go through it!

This is what you do:

1. Ask questions anytime you are unsure. Try not to ask the same question twice, if you need to write the answers, that's ok! A good preceptor expects the questions!

2. make yourself a good brainsheet, and use it!

3. List steps of what to check on a 3x5 index card. One for mom, one for baby. Use it like a check list--it won't take long before it is second nature, but until it is, use it every time you go in to assess.

4. Get hold of other new grads where you work, or some of your classmates and form an informal support group. I did this, and trust me, you have no idea how valuable it is to have others who are going through the same thing to vent to. Once you have solid proof that EVERYONE feels the way you feel, you will start to be ok feeling that way. it is the smartest thing I ever did!

5. celebrate your accomplishments, because even if it doesn't feel that way, every day you are learning something and that REALLy is an accomplishment!

Long around the 6 month mark, I suddenly realized that I no longer felt like a stupid, incompetent dolt! it was a wonderful feeling! I still don't know everything that I need to know in order to do my job perfectly...but it really truly is going to get better! So wear your badge with pride, and understand that they wouldn't have hired you if they didn't have a heck of a lot more faith in you than you have in yourself. This is the first time you have done this, but it isn't their first time. Trust them to train you, trust yourself to learn and you will do great!!!

Great advice. I love the note card idea! Totally going to use it. Already working on the brain sheet and been working on writing things down and not asking the same question twice already. I need to see how to find some other new nurses locally. I didn't go to school near here so that's another thing, but for now been trying to stay connected with my old classmates.

The quote above is very true. I've seen it time and time again with new nurses that I have trained in OB. The fact that you recognize what you don't know is a great first step. The dangerous nurses are the ones who think right out of the gate that they know exactly what to do, all the time, and do not question themselves ever. I would take an orientee like yourself any day!

You are very new in the orientation process and so I would suggest being gentle with yourself. Take the great advice that other nurses in this thread have offered you. I especially like the comment of getting completely quiet to hear the baby's heart while trying to discern a murmur. If necessary, and if mom allows, bring the baby into a quiet nursery and close your eyes and just listen for a few minutes at a time. Of course, make sure that mom doesn't get the idea that something is wrong with her baby! Don't want to scare a new mommy!

You will do fine in time. I have no doubt, because you show a genuine desire to be a fantastic and skillful nurse. Best of luck to you!

Thank you. I hope to reply back to this thread in some time with an update. Prepping myself tonight for the work week and going to keep on trucking :up:

OP, thanks for posting this. I'm waiting on a possible 2nd interview for a postpartum position as well, and one of my fears is appearing to be incompetent. I told myself that if/when I get a job offer, I'm immediately hitting the books and re-teaching myself as much as I can. I graduated in December, and you can forget so much in just 5 months!! Thanks to your post and some of the replies, I know to brush up on assessments and some tips to get organized. Good luck on your journey!!!

Specializes in Progressive Care.

I felt that way 2 weeks in. Now I've been a nurse 6 months, on my own for 3, and feel much better although I still ask tons of questions. I also did some really dumb things when I was orienting and wondered what my preceptor thought of me. But they're there to teach you. If you were ready right out of the box you wouldn't need a preceptor. The brain sheet is a good idea. I also found it helpful to talk to the floor's educator if there were things I was uncomfortable with. That's what they're there for.

Specializes in NICU, PICU, PCVICU and peds oncology.

There's really not a lot I can add to the responses you've already received. Except maybe this: About those murmurs. They do take a trained ear to pick them out. So how do you train your ear? Let all the nurses you work with know you want practice at picking them up. When one of them tells you s/he has a baby with a murmur, ask that nurse to hold the bell of the stethoscope over the spot where it's heard best so that you can listen. Closing your eyes is a really important way to eliminate distractions and allows you to start weeding out what you're hearing. The smaller and more restrictive the lesion, the louder and harsher the murmur. Those ones, let's say a closing PDA, are easier to pick up and sound like "shwit-shwit-shwit". Bigger lesions, like a large VSD, will be lower pitched and rumbly... "whoooooosh-whoooooosh-whoooooosh". The more opportunities you have to listen the easier you'll find it to pick them out.

Ok wow! You are feeling a lot of pressure! Maybe dial it back a little? At 2 weeks you are probably only expected to be performing tasks. No one is expecting you to perform perfect assessments except yourself. The assessments you are doing now are, "practice," until you are on your own doing the real thing. I wonder if you are able to absorb tips, hints that your preceptor and others give you? YOU have created a learning agenda that sounds impossible. I would suggest reviewing the new nurse learning packet your clinical educator has provided. Measure your accomplishments against that. Don't reach beyond that. You are a very harsh critic and need to cut yourself alot of slack or you will burn out quickly. Take care of yourself:)

Specializes in CNA-5 years, EMT-B (lapsed) 2010.

I am only a week behind you in orientation as a new grad on a Med/Tele floor, and I am feeling the same way. The charting/computer system (Meditech) has completely overwhelmed me, and I am really afraid that I'm missing things. I felt like my preceptor was getting a bit frustrated with me by the end of the week but, I don't know overall, she's been pretty receptive to my questions even if I feel like I repeat myself/or they're dumb. Furthermore, I'm currently orienting on nights when I will be working on days *facepalm*...(and we all know how different nights are than days!!)

I'm just trying to keep the faith that it will all work out, but I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared to death.

Give yourself a break!

You're doing something that is not only complicated, but is brand new to you...it would be ridiculous of you (or anyone, really) to expect yourself to be any good at it!!

Try to start charting assessments in the room (if you're not already) so if you forget something you're right there. It'll seem more like you just haven't gotten to it yet instead of you forgot.

You could also keep a tiny check list behind your badge of the steps you need to take, or even write directly onto a clipboard. Either way, before long you'll get into a routine.

For the things you're not very confident with (like heart murmurs)...tell everyone on your unit that you're having a hard time with it and ask them to let you know if they have a patient with one so you can go listen. The only way you'll get better is with more exposure, and you'll get more exposure more quickly by "borrowing" other nurse's patients.

You have got to learn to cut yourself some slack. Not only are you a new grad, you're in a specialty area, and you are pretty much starting from scratch. Focus on the new things you're learning each shift, not on what you're forgetting...because I guarantee you that there's more of the former happening than the latter.

Good luck!!

Having been only a week into my orientation and feeling just as overwhelmed, writing things down, making notes about any points my preceptor tells me or I find important gives me some sense of stability. It has been hard for me to ask questions at times because I feel even worse for not knowing but then I realize its better to ask now than to do something wrong later and put a patient at risk. My preceptor has looked at me sideways at times but I told her the difference in our educational backgrounds and I just have to let her frustration slide. I am trying to learn Meditech on a med/surg floor and the process of charting alone is time consuming. I am scared, I am nervous, but I worked hard to be where I am and I love it in the end and its worth the stress to learn. I just keep telling myself that. Remembering why you wanted to be where and what you are can motivate you, take the time to write a list, keep it in a private place and on those rough days, go back and read through it.

I'm not going to go into too much details because this is a public forum, but my boss clearly does not have the same take as you folks on expectations. Another lousy day, but I worked my butt off to get through nursing school. I'm dealing with a little bit of gossipy coworkers too! I got a good plan for moving forward and in the near future plan to share my tips for success! If I'm anything I'm persistent! Thanks for the encouragement.

Specializes in Obstetrics/Case Management/MIS/Quality.
I'm not going to go into too much details because this is a public forum, but my boss clearly does not have the same take as you folks on expectations. Another lousy day, but I worked my butt off to get through nursing school. I'm dealing with a little bit of gossipy coworkers too! I got a good plan for moving forward and in the near future plan to share my tips for success! If I'm anything I'm persistent! Thanks for the encouragement.

Don't get involved in the soap opera of gossipy co-workers. Stay clear of that drama...it will do you nothing but harm.

Specializes in ER, cardiac, addictions.

I'm going to remind you of what I was told when I was a brand new graduate, struggling in my first nursing job 35 years ago: Your nursing education, as difficult as it was, gives you only enough knowledge and skills to enter the field. At least 60% of the education you need to functions smoothly on your current unit is yet to come. And it will come, but you need to be more patient with yourself. Instead of tallying up your mistakes, why not keep a list of new key points you've learned each day? As long as you keep learning, you're going in the right direction, even if you're not going as fast as you'd like to.

Nursing instructors never say this, but, when you make an error, 9 times out of 10 it's not going to hurt the patient. If you forgot to check someone's episiotomy, just go back in and check it when you do remember, and eventually it will become second nature. If you can't hear a heart murmur, ask someone else for a second opinion. Even the best experienced nurses have to do that occasionally.

Most nurses will tell you, "It's not the ones who require a lot of help and input that worry me. It's the ones who think they know it all, even when they don't." It's true. Every last one of us has made mistakes, some of them big enough or dumb enough to cringe over. As long as you correct your mistakes promptly, learn from them, and don't allow them to paralyze you with insecurity, you'll be fine. Just be patient, and do your reasonable best, and you'll eventually get there.

+ Add a Comment