I kept a journal of all my years doing nursing at, my working life as a nurse and working in hospitals, my LIFE experience, and my stupid, STUPID mother ripped them all up and threw them away in the bin for recycling when I was working away! I didn't ask her to do this and I am SO, SO furious right now. I thought I could maybe retrieve it all but she said this was months ago, so it is all probably land fill by now.
I know I shouldn't call my mother stupid, but come on ..... she didn't even LOOK to see what they were.
All my journals of my nursing experience, all my private journals over 15 years and more - all gone!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I don't know if anyone else writes a journal, but I was thinking of writing a book later on with my journal as a reference. I was going to scan everything and put it on my computer for safe keeping when I got back (ha ha TOO ironic for words!)
My journals were very important to me. They documented my loves, my life, my experiences with many of my patients I'd looked after.
I know this isn't really nursing but has anyone ever had this happen to them?
I'm so upset, I just feel like I could cry - all that writing and all those stories - just gone forever!!!
Hey Carol, I do care...love is endless and I have a gazillion gallons of it for just you alone!!! I know what you mean about caring about those journals etc that were yours alone and your thoughts and yes years and years of them...it cannot be replaced and the anger and sadness you will feel will be there for a while but I am so glad that you are looking at it in this new way. It will be so much better for you. Regret is hard to live with...I, as you may remember, am taking an enormous step for me and leaving my family and I have moments where I think..what am I doing? I am regretting it before I even have done it..I find I have to mentally look at my situation and say it is for the best for me, for my husband, for the kids...the guilt just kicked in again..but I need to do it..I have to somehow move on...I am like you not materialistic so will not take much with me..have learnt to not care about too much...what if it was all lost in a fire..the most important thing you have is you, your brain, your heart, your memories..sorry waffling now..but always know that I do care!! CAthy
sydneymum14
65 Posts
Hey Carol, I do care...love is endless and I have a gazillion gallons of it for just you alone!!! I know what you mean about caring about those journals etc that were yours alone and your thoughts and yes years and years of them...it cannot be replaced and the anger and sadness you will feel will be there for a while but I am so glad that you are looking at it in this new way. It will be so much better for you. Regret is hard to live with...I, as you may remember, am taking an enormous step for me and leaving my family and I have moments where I think..what am I doing? I am regretting it before I even have done it..I find I have to mentally look at my situation and say it is for the best for me, for my husband, for the kids...the guilt just kicked in again..but I need to do it..I have to somehow move on...I am like you not materialistic so will not take much with me..have learnt to not care about too much...what if it was all lost in a fire..the most important thing you have is you, your brain, your heart, your memories..sorry waffling now..but always know that I do care!! CAthy