I know that I have to try to get along with everyone, especially teachers. I have made it through 3 semesters with B's, I am never late/absent, I don't talk back, am NOT a know-it-all, and try not to disrespect anyone. However, I am an older woman(40+), a little on the large side, sometimes not the sharpest tool in the shed, and laugh a little too loud. Now, I feel like my last two clinical instructors are not very friendly towards me, have little patience, and are sometimes downright rude. It kind of hurts my feelings-because I feel that most everyone else gets treated with more respect, even down to more eye contact or engaging conversations. Is it my age? My weight? I feel if it were my clinical performance that was lacking, then I wouldn't be passing at all. For instance, today I had a real exciting day(and good day, per my RN I worked with) at clinical; I did alot of procedures that other students have not done; and when it came my turn at post-conference to report, it seems like all my teacher wanted to do was to pick apart everthing I said to make me sound inept. Everyone else got the "great job" treatment except me. And this always happens! My motto is starting to be "less info, less criticism" at post conference. My classmates sympathize with me because they see it happening to me too; and I try to tell myself that as long as my patients like/trust me, I do my work well, and pass, that is all that matters. Anyway, I would appreciate any suggestions on how to deal with this...am I really unlikable?
I've seen some instructors pick out 1 or 2 students and ride them relentlessly(not sure why, do they see something with their trained eye, or is it a personality thing, not sure) I agree with ladyjane who thought flying under the radar would be warranted here. You can't please everyone and giving less information is sometimes better if you have an instructor like you have. Your motto: just get through it! It stinks because you don't really learn as much because your trying to lay low, but you've got a lifetime to learn. Just get through it! Don't take it personally, this is a stepping stone for you. When you're finished you never have to jump through her hoop again. Please keep us posted and good luck.
No, your not paranoid at all. Not at all. They DO hate you. Why, just the other day I was talking to one of your instructors and you came up. She told me..............................lol.
Anyway.
I had two instructors who didnt like me and made no secret about it. One was a lost cause. She was a 48 year old "failure to launch" type who taught psych. The other was very intelligent. She gave me advice that really helped my test taking skills.
I guess what I'm saying is, let the ones who are just looking for a fight do and say what they please. But dont shut the door on anyone completely. Never know when that pearl of wisdom you can really use will be dropped........or by whom it will be dropped.
There are people who discriminate against obese people in this world, I saw it happen in my clinicals to a young woman who was in every other way an excellent student and had excellent clinical performance. She was morbidly obese, but was strong and light on her feet.
I've noticed, and this is purely anecdotal, that those who seem most critical of the morbidly obese are those with a weight problem themselves. At my last job the education nurse was morbidly obese and the nurses who would make fun of her all were obese themselves. I thought that was ironic.
I can totally agree with you on this, as an very overweight person I can tell you that there are people who discriminate against you because of your weight. There are those who make fun of you to your face, those who make fun of your to your back and those who won't make fun of you but think they are better then you and believe that this gives them the right to treat you like crap. There isn't much you can do to change these type of people but to not let it get to you and if they do make a comment or something that is heard by other students or employees then you could consider making a harassment charge but that is a little OT for this discussion. I always figured that if someone is going to use my weight as some kind weapon against me then I would just embrace it and let it roll off my back. Bullies hate it when they find out what there doing doesn't bother you. Good luck and stay strong!
I can totally agree with you on this, as an very overweight person I can tell you that there are people who discriminate against you because of your weight. There are those who make fun of you to your face, those who make fun of your to your back and those who won't make fun of you but think they are better then you and believe that this gives them the right to treat you like crap. There isn't much you can do to change these type of people but to not let it get to you and if they do make a comment or something that is heard by other students or employees then you could consider making a harassment charge but that is a little OT for this discussion. I always figured that if someone is going to use my weight as some kind weapon against me then I would just embrace it and let it roll off my back. Bullies hate it when they find out what there doing doesn't bother you. Good luck and stay strong!
!Chris
I'm very overweight. More than "an extra few pounds" going on here. Quiting smoking isnt helping. And I'm trying to do something about it. Have a personal trainer who......gives me encouragement, doesnt tell me I'm doing great if I am not and knows her stuff.
With that said, I 'd like to give a different approach than the one you suggested. This is what I learned. When people look down on us for our weight, we tend to internalize it (much like the term you used, "embrace"). So, we start getting down on ourselves. Then, we return home, upset and depressed and tired from the racing thoughts we let others place in our heads...."Too fat", "Must be lazy", "How'd I let it go this far.". Naturally, our habbits for dealing with these emotions is to......you guessed it, we eat, and stuff the feelings under chicken wings and ice cream. Its like the alcoholic drinking because he is upset he cant stop drinking.
So, what I had to learn is, assertiveness goes a long way. I quit "let it roll off my back" a long time ago. Something had to break the cycle I described above. Good place to start was to be more assertive, face that "schoolyard bully" face to face. You can let people know you dont appreciate the jabs and assumptions assertively (not aggresively, that'll get ya fired).
A simple line like the one I used goes a long way in getting your point across:
"I'm sorry. I understand you just want to share a laugh, but jokes like that are better left between friends, not co-workers. Please remember where we are."
If it happens again, reinforce that you do not like that sort of humor directed at you at the workplace. Mention it is the second time you've had to tell them, and dont be afraid to get middle level management involved after that (like a charge nurse, not saying go to HR).
Assertiveness, not a blind eye, will make you feel better yourself and you may, like me, decide you dont have to live like this anymore.
Specializes in psych, addictions, hospice, education.
I'd kind of like to go back to the original posting a bit. The OP asked if ALL her clinical instructors dislke her. All. We've been talking about one and philosophically the evil instructors that are out to get students for whatever reason. What about the belief that ALL dislike her. I'd like to hear more about this.
Hmmm, its one and the same to me. I guess, since I did not make the seperation in my mind that you did.
I think feeling like one hates you sometimes leads you to believe they all will. I heard over and over how the clinical instructors talked and sometimes a bad rap with one would follow you to the next clinical instructor. So, "one hates me" and "all my instructors hate me" is, yes, technically very different, but maybe not different in our minds.
Actually; now that I think about it, I have had a total of 4 clinical instructors; and only two treated me the way I described before. I guess not ALL of them dislike me! I should be happy cuz half ain't bad...
chevyv, BSN, RN
1,679 Posts
I've seen some instructors pick out 1 or 2 students and ride them relentlessly(not sure why, do they see something with their trained eye, or is it a personality thing, not sure) I agree with ladyjane who thought flying under the radar would be warranted here. You can't please everyone and giving less information is sometimes better if you have an instructor like you have. Your motto: just get through it! It stinks because you don't really learn as much because your trying to lay low, but you've got a lifetime to learn. Just get through it! Don't take it personally, this is a stepping stone for you. When you're finished you never have to jump through her hoop again. Please keep us posted and good luck.