I know that I have to try to get along with everyone, especially teachers. I have made it through 3 semesters with B's, I am never late/absent, I don't talk back, am NOT a know-it-all, and try not to disrespect anyone. However, I am an older woman(40+), a little on the large side, sometimes not the sharpest tool in the shed, and laugh a little too loud. Now, I feel like my last two clinical instructors are not very friendly towards me, have little patience, and are sometimes downright rude. It kind of hurts my feelings-because I feel that most everyone else gets treated with more respect, even down to more eye contact or engaging conversations. Is it my age? My weight? I feel if it were my clinical performance that was lacking, then I wouldn't be passing at all. For instance, today I had a real exciting day(and good day, per my RN I worked with) at clinical; I did alot of procedures that other students have not done; and when it came my turn at post-conference to report, it seems like all my teacher wanted to do was to pick apart everthing I said to make me sound inept. Everyone else got the "great job" treatment except me. And this always happens! My motto is starting to be "less info, less criticism" at post conference. My classmates sympathize with me because they see it happening to me too; and I try to tell myself that as long as my patients like/trust me, I do my work well, and pass, that is all that matters. Anyway, I would appreciate any suggestions on how to deal with this...am I really unlikable?
To Inland18-What? Using my weight as a scapegoat? I don't even know how to respond to that-except that it sounds like you may have issues against heavier people. I'll thank you for constructive criticism; not incorrect assumptions.
It would seem that there is a reason if the dissing is not confined to only one instructor, but I would not assume it has anything to do with your age or weight. If you can, try to ask. They also may shed light on something you don't know about, and it may not be entirely negative. Maybe you know enough that they are challenging you. I don't know.
Without being there to see it for myself, it's really hard to say. As long as you conduct yourself safely and ethically in the clinical area, there should be no reason for your CI to do anything to endanger your continued participation in the program.
Another thought, and I don't know if this applies or not, but sometimes I think some instructors might be harder on those that they expect more of.
To Inland18-What? Using my weight as a scapegoat? I don't even know how to respond to that-except that it sounds like you may have issues against heavier people. I'll thank you for constructive criticism; not incorrect assumptions.
You're making my point for me. STOP blaming things are your weight. You seem to care more about your weight than others. Do you see what you're doing? "Well she MUST not like me because I'm overweight." Your jumping to conclusions and looking for excuses. I would also agree about the loud laugh - some people find this rude. Tone it down, do your work, get your license, and leave. Best of luck to you.
Hi. It sounds like you are doing a great job so far. I had two clinical instructors in nsg school with whom I had the same feelings. I was a very young single mom just trying to make a better life for myself and child. I worked hard and made As and worked full time as well.
I simply pulled these instructors aside and said this: I have worked very hard on getting to this point, and I fully intend to graduate. I will do the best I possibly can, however it is difficult for me because I feel like you have been giving me a hard time, and unfairly so. They both looked shocked when I said this, but I was treated with respect from then on. Don't let them push you around. Most teachers are very supportive of the students, but there are some out there on a power trip or whatever, and they will bully, so my advice to you is to push back, work hard, stay focused on your goal, don't screw up, and let the chips fall where they may. Keep going. You can do this. As a side note, chances are you will get a wonderful instructor who will mentor you!
Have you asked your clinical instructor, in private, what you should focus on to do your best in clinical? Instructors are secretly suckers for the student that respects them and cares about their opinions. You are probably doing something that really rubs them the wrong way and if you show you are open to hearing about it they may very well let you know what it is and maybe it's something you need to hear.
That works both ways. It is NOT the student's responsibility to pull things out of the professors. If they cannot clearly state what the student needs to do, then they should'nt be teaching, IMO.
So what if they don't like you or pick on you more than the rest? Just think about the extra experience you're getting in presenting yourself as a clinician. When others are struggling to be 'comfortable' with being questioned as an RN - you'll be way ahead of the game.
Spend some time after any tutor challenges you thinking about how you presented the 'clinical case' - and don't worry about how you 'feel' about it.
Nurses have to learn to be objective and to stand their clinical ground - so I think this will help develop your critical thinking and self awareness - whether that's their intention or not.
Turn their bad behaviour into your good fortune.
And laugh as loud as you want. In fact do it in inappropriate times - like when someone says "What day is it?" - then laugh like a buffoon.
Once you've got that down - I've a job for you on my Mental Health team. We like people who laugh loud for no reason.
That works both ways. It is NOT the student's responsibility to pull things out of the professors. If they cannot clearly state what the student needs to do, then they should'nt be teaching, IMO.
It might be that the instructors are telling the OP what they want and she is not picking up on their message. If it's true that they are "picking apart" her reports of what she did in clinical and not saying "good job" like they do to the others, they may simply be giving her negative feedback that she is not receptive too and therefore denying it. Instead of saying, "I had a few rough spots today and my instructor called me on it in class" she is saying that they are not being supportive and therefore don't like her.
They may be giving her professional feedback that indicates she needs to make a few changes and she is taking it personally and jumping to "they don't like me ... maybe it's my age or weight."
My recommendation to the OP is to listen closely to their questions and comments to see what professional issues are being raised. Are they raising concerns about her actions or words? Is there negative feedback about her as a person or about her practice. If it's about her practice, she should address those issues and improve those aspects of her practice.
I have found that a lot of students (and employees) interpret any negative feedback as "you don't like me" even if that feedback is justified and is related only to their actual practice and not about them as a person. Some people just can't take criticism. Rather than admit they need to improve their practice in some ways, they respond with "That's not fair. You just don't like me." Note that the OP did not share any information about the specific comments or questions from the faculty. We have no idea whether or not they were questioning her as a person or her professional practices as a nurse. So, we really don't know what those comments have been. Maybe the instructors are totally justified in their criticisms and she has simply reached the point in her education where she is having trouble moving to the next level as necessary. Maybe not. We don't know.
I definitely felt negative vibes and poor treatment from two of my clinical instructors which I believe was due to my age (45).
The first one was subtle and tolerable, but she seemed to go out of her way to inform me that at her age (I think she was 48), she could no longer handle being on the floor because of back pain and other maladies which made her physically unable to do it. It was obvious she wondered what the heck I was doing in the nursing program. She graded me more harshly as well, which was obvious when I once compared my paper with a fellow 20-something's paper.
The second instructor was totally unprofessional and is the kind that gives nurses a bad name. Her treatment of me was noted by all the other students it was so obvious. You don't treat someone from day one the way she did unless you have some underlying bias. Whether or not it was my age I'm not sure, but I suspect it was.
Bottom line...I've experienced ageism myself so you might not be dreaming. Just do your best, fly under the radar, learn as much from you can from her, and keep your eye on the goal.
Dear Inland-I most definitely am NOT making your point for you. As I stated before, it could me my weight, it could be my age, for that matter it could be my personality that is rubbing my instructors the wrong way. I only say that, if it is my performance, then why the heck am I passing; even exceeding my clinical objectives? For some reason I am not being treated the same as others in clinical. I CAN and DO take criticism; if not I would have let this beat me long ago and dropped out of class. Whether or not it is happening to me, people are discriminated against for being fat and/or old. What planet have you been living on?
IIg, I didn't post specifics because I know that some instructors from my school peruse these boards; and although the chance is slim, I'd rather them not ID me. Since this has been going on since last year, and I have so far been meeting/exceeding expectations of theory and clinicals, I don't think the problem is that I have reached my "learning limit". Thanks and take care.
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cincin1
90 Posts
To Inland18-What? Using my weight as a scapegoat? I don't even know how to respond to that-except that it sounds like you may have issues against heavier people. I'll thank you for constructive criticism; not incorrect assumptions.