Am I just being overly sensitive?

**RosesrReder, BSN, MSN, RN** · Aug 11, 2005

No need to cry hun, you have a big heart and unfortunately he did not see that. He seems like he'd disrespect you (or anyone) even if the pan wasn't left on the doorstep. I would have defended myself a little better though (not to say you didn't). I guess it is my nature to. He is not worth your tears. I feel sorry for the animals too.

JVanRN · Aug 11, 2005

Some people are kind of funny about animals eating human food out of human dishes. (either/or or both) I would be kind of irritated if I found out you had done this at my house without asking. (mainly because I don't share my dishes with my animals...not so much the food thing) Well that and my dogs have their own dishes...they don't eat off the ground. Well they try to...but I don't give them food that way. Even though your intentions were good. But in no way would I have been rude about it. I probably would have just got rid of the dish and not said anything...but that's just me.

If I was really picky about what my dogs ate I would have said something about it in a nice way though. (though that doesn't sound like the case here)

I don't think your being over sensitive about it. It would probably hurt my feelings too, but then I can also see why the other person was somewhat irate. Though to me he over reacted. No need to be an asshat about it (the man...not you)

Cute_CNA, CNA · Aug 11, 2005

I think you were just trying to do something nice, and it was misinterpreted by some inconsiderate person.

Personally, I would have asked someone if I could give the dogs food scraps in some kind of dish (like, on a disposable plate). You could say something like, "It might be better for the dogs' health if you put their food on top of something, instead of on the bare ground. Otherwise, animals can get worms from the food being on the ground ." It's a very touchy subject though, the way people treat their animals.

I think your intentions were good. Just ask before doing something next time.

Editorial Team / Admin · Aug 11, 2005

I work home health and while I was at the home of one of my patients I noticed some leftovers on the table that were going bad so I thought I would help get rid of them by putting them in a pan and sitting the pan at the doorstep for the patients four dogs and five puppies to clean up. I left the pan there intending to pick it back up shortly, scrub it out and put it back in its place (it was an old pan, so I didn't think there would be any harm in using it, as the dogs didn't have a dish.)
While I was changing some of the bedridden patient's ventilator tubing the adult son (who lives with his father) came in the trailer angrily holding the pan up for me to see.
"Don't throw my pans out."
I was kind of shocked and bewildered and I guess the confused look on my face made him feel like he should repeat, "Don't throw our pans out in the yard like you just did."
So I started stammering about how I was sorry and intended to scrub the pan out but he just gave me this evil eye look and told me if I wanted to give the dogs food to throw it in the yard. I hate to sound like a cry baby but I had to fight back tears (I didn't used toget so emotional over things!) and I just felt like a stupid scolded kid and all ashamed.
I wanted to tell him that those puppies looked so scraggly and wormy probably in part because he was feeding them off the ground, but I know when to keep my mouth shut. I just starting to wonder if I am even welcome back there...being an animal lover I have several dogs and I always feed them scraps out of one of my frying pans. Am I a filthy hillbilly? I told the oncoming nurse about it and to add insult to injury she looked at me like I came from Mars (she doesn't like animals at all).

Your heart was in the right place.

I must agree with the post about not serving animals from human pans. Dog slime is SOOOOOOOOOOO hard to remove even with intense scrubbing with a brillo pad. I must do that and scrub BEFORE I put in dishwasher. Blech!!

Try not to let it get to you. Just do your job and it will pass.

gr8rnpjt, RN · Aug 11, 2005

LpntoRN,

Some people are very territorial. From what you said, it sounds like he was saying he thought you threw the pan out rather than having a problem with the dogs eating out of it, he may have thought you were throwing the whole pan out.

I know that my husband has a very rough attitude with everyone, and he would be the type to be very gruff and yell at someone who did something other than what they were there to do. (feed the dogs, when you are here to take care of the patient) He would have reacted very similarly. Knowing how he is, I would explain, "hey wait, I am only feeding the dogs your leftovers, not throwing out your pan. I planned to wash the pain when I was done here"

Sometimes people are territorial in thier homes. They don't like strangers in the home and lurking around. They perceive anyone that comes in the home as a threat, somewhat like a dog who barks when you come to the door. The best way to deal with them is to acknowlege them, be direct about what your intention is, and then let them know that in the future, you will ask before you do something like that. He probably feels that with a stranger in the home, he is losing control of his environment, and needs to exert some type of aggressiveness to take back the control.

You did nothing wrong, I would have done the same, or something similar. Knowing there is this type person in the home, be careful stepping on his territory.

rjflyn, ASN, RN · Aug 11, 2005

Not much to add to what the other posters mentioned but did see you felt the animals were in poor health. Maybe a well thought out anonymous call to animal control or the local human society might change his tune. You didnt say anything about the patients state of health but how one treats their pets says alot about how they might treat a loved one in their care.

Rj :rolleyes:

I work home health and while I was at the home of one of my patients I noticed some leftovers on the table that were going bad so I thought I would help get rid of them by putting them in a pan and sitting the pan at the doorstep for the patients four dogs and five puppies to clean up. I left the pan there intending to pick it back up shortly, scrub it out and put it back in its place (it was an old pan, so I didn't think there would be any harm in using it, as the dogs didn't have a dish.)
While I was changing some of the bedridden patient's ventilator tubing the adult son (who lives with his father) came in the trailer angrily holding the pan up for me to see.
"Don't throw my pans out."
I was kind of shocked and bewildered and I guess the confused look on my face made him feel like he should repeat, "Don't throw our pans out in the yard like you just did."
So I started stammering about how I was sorry and intended to scrub the pan out but he just gave me this evil eye look and told me if I wanted to give the dogs food to throw it in the yard. I hate to sound like a cry baby but I had to fight back tears (I didn't used toget so emotional over things!) and I just felt like a stupid scolded kid and all ashamed.
I wanted to tell him that those puppies looked so scraggly and wormy probably in part because he was feeding them off the ground, but I know when to keep my mouth shut. I just starting to wonder if I am even welcome back there...being an animal lover I have several dogs and I always feed them scraps out of one of my frying pans. Am I a filthy hillbilly? I told the oncoming nurse about it and to add insult to injury she looked at me like I came from Mars (she doesn't like animals at all).

leopold · Aug 11, 2005

Yes, just two different ways of looking at things. The guy was out of line for reacting that way, but some people are like that and you really shouldn't take it personally -- it wasn't about you at all, it was about him being a loudmouth, and he probably acts like that with everyone.

I have to agree with some of the other posters, I don't use people things for my pets, it just kind of grosses me out, I have no idea what goes into pet food but I don't want it on my utensils! Also, dogs have a tendency to eat things other than food that we won't go into here :) , you just don't know where that mouth has been!

ktwlpn, LPN · Aug 11, 2005

What exactly are your duties? Is housekeeping involved? I have worked in home care and each position seemed to have different responsibilites.After washing a dogs face and putting it's hair in a clip every morning before starting my day with the patient I decided then and there that if clients want a housekeeper or a pet groomer/walker then they should NOT hire me-a nurse.....(if the food was going bad I would have thrown it away-not given it to the pets)

Jo Dirt · Aug 11, 2005

The man and his son live in a very old (kind of dirty) trailer. Not that this means they should be eating out of dog pans...The son loves his father and took care of him before the nurses came. His son is an okay guy, I guess it just touched a sensitive spot with him, I know I have some of my own quirks (a friend of mine picked up my nailclippers and pulled out the file and started cleaning his nails with it...I almost went into orbit).As far as my duties there, light housekeeping is one. As a matter of fact I had been washing and folding not only the old man's laundry but the son's work clothes that day (he didn't complain about that).

I have to admit the son takes very good care of his father and is probably not a bad person. I just have issues with getting fussed at, especially by a man. If it had been a woman I believe it would have been easier for me to speak out for myself but I'm really nervous around men in the first place and I just wilt.

But those puppies are neglected I'd say. They are scraggly and very wormy.

I'm kind of funny about my animals, I like them better than most people, and I don't stick my head in a plate and eat after them but I do feed them out of my dishes (in France dogs are welcome in restaurants and eat out of their owner's plates). Some might think it would make a person sick but me and the kids are as healthy as mules over here...oh well, live and learn. Not everyone is as big a pushover for animals as I am.

Jo Dirt · Aug 11, 2005

What exactly are your duties? Is housekeeping involved? I have worked in home care and each position seemed to have different responsibilites.After washing a dogs face and putting it's hair in a clip every morning before starting my day with the patient I decided then and there that if clients want a housekeeper or a pet groomer/walker then they should NOT hire me-a nurse.....(if the food was going bad I would have thrown it away-not given it to the pets)

I worked at this one case where the woman had the day nurses washing windows and scrubbing floors. One nurse complained that the old lady instructed her that when she was finished scrubbing the baseboards she could start scrubbing the walls...lol:rolleyes:

DianeMyra · Aug 11, 2005

Not everyone is as big a pushover for animals as I am.

I agree that he was probably too harsh, but even those that love animals don't necessarily want to eat out of the same dishes as their dogs. I'd be grossed out if a human stuck their face in my pan and licked out the food; that's what utensils are for, and why dogs (in my opinion) shouldn't eat off my pan/plate. My b/f's cousin makes a habit of letting her dogs eat the leftovers off her plate and says (when others protest) that dogs have cleaner mouths than humans. Well, I've seen where dogs like to sniff, lick and drink so I'm a bit dubious! As a poster above said, I'd too probably just toss the pan and not say anything to you, but if you're coming over everyday that could get inconvient/expensive. - Diane