All in my head?

[JVoEDrn]

So,

I've only posted a few times earlier, and it was mainly to lend an insight to my journey of studying and passing the NCLEX (THANK GOD thats over).

I passed on Nov, 28 2012 and By December 12 I had 2 jobs. I work FT as an IV nurse for an alternative medicine clinic and Per diem as an urgent care pediatric nurse. The first couple of weeks were nerve wrecking, wondering if I had what I took to be an RN, without a clinical instructor peering over my shoulder telling me I was doing something wrong...or even right! I cried during my orientation, which was only a week at my IV job, and 2 shifts at my pediatric urgent care job....talk about being thrown into the wolves den! But nonetheless, I survived and am proud of the nurse I am becoming and already am.

My issue, is not really an issue, more of observation of myself. I've gotten quite good at IVs, I've always been good at them, even during clinicals, but with me starting 5-10 IVS a day, not including, non-iv sticks but blood draws, I'd say I've gotten pretty good, had some embarrassing moments and have had people tell me "WOW! You're the best person to have ever stuck me!" ^_^

I've gotten REALLY hard sticks, and have found new and inventive ways to feel and find veins, still learning tons, but happy with where I am at in terms of PIVs and BD. HERE is my problem, there is a man, who in general makes me uncomfortable...but he is a sweet man, and has done nothing that would make me feel uneasy, its just a vibe I get.... I have seen far worse sticks, and have succeeded, then this man, but for the life of me I cannot get him started. He gets an IV push every Tuesday. I/we use 23g butterflys on him bc the push is only over 20 minutes.

THESE are my favorite, next to blooddraws, no angiocath, nothing, just needle insertion, blood return boom IV. WELL, out of 10 times that I have tried him (NOT INCLUDING the times I've RETRIED) I have only gotten a successful attempt maybe 3 times. I always blow it. ALWAYS literally and figuritively. I got him the first time, and then from there it was downhill. Its mortifying when he comes in, all patient as can be, and yet....I end up mostly grabbing the iv certified ND to come and gloat and get him with no problem. UNACCEPTABLE. H.is veins do roll, but nothing I've not dealt with. His veins are deep in some areas, again, something I am not new too

I have people who beg me to draw them and schedule appts just to be sure I am there for the IV start.

This is so crushing to the ego. I know its mental, but why and how do I get over this? I find myself onhis appt days dreading it on my way to work....and he won't even be in until late in the afternoon.

It makes me feel incompetent. Just some words of wisome and advice from fellow nurses.

I always get blood return and then the vein blows.

UGH!!!!!! Hes coming in at 230 and im already dreading it.

Thanks so much.

Jenny

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

Mariano Rivera is the best closer in the history of baseball and will surely be in the Hall of Fame (as a Red Sox fan it really pains me to say it, but we do recognize excellence) and even he has gotten hit around by some teams (and as a Red Sox fan I am really pleased to say that they are one of them).

[JVoEDrn]

While interesting, completely irrelevant to this post.

Thanks.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

No, it's not. He's really good in his specialized role, you're really good at yours. Yet neither of you is perfect.

While he might not look forward to it, I doubt that he "dreads" facing a team that hits him so much harder than any other-- he just goes out there and does his best. You don't need to "dread" 2:30 today, either. So that's my advice.

[Tait, MSN, RN]

While having a talent most of us would trade an expensive stethoscope for, don't let it be your only defining ability. I am sure this man appreciates the fact that you recognize the trouble you have with him and are humble enough to bring someone else in to try. Last week at the OB I had my first painful stick as the girl dug and dug to find the vein. While I understood, I was still a little like "come on, at least go to the other arm" which she eventually did.

Don't stress it :)

Tait

[brownbook]

I don't think I am the greatest at IV's, but usually pretty good. I understand your post. There are situations where I know ahead of time, feel jinxed, when I go to start an IV.

Is there a way you can ask co-workers to start this man's IV for a few Tuesdays in a row. Just give yourself a mental rest from him. Just admit to your self you can't start his IV's and let someone else do it for a while.

Then when you have gotten a respite from him try him again but take the pressure off of yourself. I find facing the worst helps me relieve the mental pressure. Go to him with the idea that...."I am absolutely positively certain that I am not going to get this IV", the maybe you will be pleasantly surprise.

[JVoEDrn]

OH ! I get it now, lol THANK YOU! :)

[JVoEDrn]

THank you all for your kind words and wisdom. I am taking my deep breaths and visualizing the needle entering the vein lol. ugh....I hope I don't end up embarrassed again!!!

[JVoEDrn]

Ugh, that's happened to me once with a nursing student, AS a nursing student....so i was understanding and patient despite the tears streaming down my face and sobs racking my body....lol I feel thoroughly blessed to have that talent, but something you said stuck out....don't let it define me. I think that is the biggest thing to work on, not letting being able to start IVs well, define me or crush me. Easier said than done huh?

While having a talent most of us would trade an expensive stethoscope for, don't let it be your only defining ability. I am sure this man appreciates the fact that you recognize the trouble you have with him and are humble enough to bring someone else in to try. Last week at the OB I had my first painful stick as the girl dug and dug to find the vein. While I understood, I was still a little like "come on, at least go to the other arm" which she eventually did.

Don't stress it :)

Tait

[JVoEDrn]

I think the most frustating part, is that I have had 2 weeks free of him, and today is my first day trying him again.... :/ thats why maybe im so nervous

I don't think I am the greatest at IV's, but usually pretty good. I understand your post. There are situations where I know ahead of time, feel jinxed, when I go to start an IV.

Is there a way you can ask co-workers to start this man's IV for a few Tuesdays in a row. Just give yourself a mental rest from him. Just admit to your self you can't start his IV's and let someone else do it for a while.

Then when you have gotten a respite from him try him again but take the pressure off of yourself. I find facing the worst helps me relieve the mental pressure. Go to him with the idea that...."I am absolutely positively certain that I am not going to get this IV", the maybe you will be pleasantly surprise.

[AMN74]

It's a challenge for you and you are letting your mind play games with you. Keep trying, when you have failed go get help, but once you finally tackle it a few times in a row you will have your confidence back and you will have this silly man out of your head. I once had a patient that was a really hard stick in home health. After 2 sticks that was my limit. He finally said to me, "Take a deep breath and stick my vein, I don't want you to have to call another nurse out here to stick me." Once I accomplished this task several times, I felt confident and never had a problem sticking him on the first try. Its mental for you, it seems. You strike out in your mind before you are up to bat. Good luck!

[JVoEDrn]

Update: Missed him, but got him on the 2nd try! oh thank goodness!!