Advice on When to Have the Baby

[kelsey1992]

Hello Everyone,

I am a third semester nursing student at University of South Florida. I am currently engaged and we are getting married next March, after three years together as of now :) We have lots of discussion about the best time for us to start a family. We are both very excited about having a family young.

After our wedding in March, I graduate in August. I thought it might be a good idea to have the baby right after graduation - it takes a little while to find a job anyway and that way I could even take some time to spend with the little one if I really wanted too.

I thought it might be relevant to mention that my fiancé has a very stable job, makes good money and supports me entirely. I don't know if the stress of being pregnant at work or in clinical is more stressful! Hahahaha

We are not going to try for sure until after the wedding (traditional like that, plus I want that alcohol!). And we might not even be ABLE to get pregnant.

How long did it take you to find a job after graduation? And any advice on the best time to have the baby?

[zoe92]

I would wait to even try to have a baby until you pass the NCLEX & have your license. This way you can focus your time/energy on finishing school, graduating & studying for the NCLEX. This really won't be a long time... You marry in March, graduate in August & *most likely* will take your boards by December. That is only 9 months & will make things less stressful, especially because if you get pregnant you might have complications & be required something extreme like bedrest which would really interfere with clinicals.

I say enjoy married life & start trying when you are a registered nurse.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

Sorry to state the obvious but if you want to have a baby in August/September, you'd need to be pregnant before March.

I think it would be very difficult to graduate nursing school pregnant and to be searching for a new grad job knowing that you'll be going out on maternity leave shortly. While an employer is prohibited from discriminating based on pregnancy status, there is an absolute glut of new grads around so a potential employer will most definitely favor a non-pregnant candidate.

The United States has no laws guaranteeing paid maternity leave and you would not be eligible for FMLA until after completing a year of employment. If you graduate very pregnant, I imagine you wouldn't really be able to start a job until AFTER the baby and, by that point, many of the new grad jobs will be gone. I simply can't imagine having a baby that soon after graduating from school but, then again, I'm from a part of the country where women don't tend to get married or have babies that young.

[AgentBeast, BSN, RN]

I'd wait until you are more established in your career. Like after 2-3 years of experience. There are a bunch of threads by women who decided to get pregnant either towards the end of nursing school or after nursing school. All of these threads have a basic common theme 2 to 3 years after graduating school, passing the NCLEX, and having their child these women still can't secure their first nursing job. The only thing worse than being a new graduate is an old new graduate (1 year or more removed from nursing school with no nursing experience). Sort of sad but you need to pick which is more important to you your nursing career, or having a child early in your marriage?

[kelsey1992]

Yes, I realize my math didn't make sense in my post, but what I originally meant was to start trying after marriage, and go from there... hoping to have the baby 4 months or so out from graduation. Sorry for the unclearness!

And I didn't realize a part of the country was more likely to have kids younger or not... hmmm....

[kelsey1992]

That is really interesting about the maternity leave point... thank you for the advice! I am sure we will wait a little while at least... Maybe secure my first job and check the benefits before we start trying

[RubberDuckieLove]

I would wait until your career is established. Enjoy being newly weds with no children!!

[RubberDuckieLove]

Also, enjoy being a nurse and not having to worry about child care! That has got to be one of my biggest worries throughout the day. Are my kids doing ok? Are they having fun? Who can I call when I have overnight shifts or called in at the last minute?

[BBB<3]

Let me tell you from experience pregnancy and nursing school dont mix well! I had what I call "pregnancy brain" and I become very forgetful while pregnant and two of my pregnancies all I wanted to do is sleep all day. I'd wait until after school, nclex, and finding a job.

[Stephalump]

I really don't see how it would work out logistically. If you marry in March, the earliest due date you could have would be December. So if you wait to work at 6 weeks postpartum, you'll be almost a year outside of graduation looking for a job? Or you'd be attempting to secure employment while pregnant (which I'm sure you can see would be a problem...)

I seriously could NOT think while I was pregnant. I couldn't stay awake to study, I was throwing up constantly...ugh, it was awful. I wouldn't wish it on anyone.

[tkg123]

I say it happens when it happens and you will deal with it when and however it does. There is no perfect time to start a family because as we know, life is unpredictable.

I have been trying to get into school to become an RN since 2006. I just got into a program that started 3 weeks ago. I am 38, have one child and would love to have a second. It will happen when it happens. I have spent the last 7 years playing the what if game and the "if we wait until this happens, then we can do this" just to realize that you can't live your life that way. If you do, you will always be waiting!

Good luck with school, the wedding, and having kids. I'm sure it will all work out in the end