Abuse Culture in Nursing...How Far Does it Go?

[HoneyBeGood]

Time to open the can of worms...I am sure it has been opened several times...but maybe I am not seeing this topic addressed enough. Am I crazy or is the world of nursing crazy and I am just in the mix?

Why did no one tell me in nursing school? Why did I not listen to my mother who is a RN. But now my complaints are met with a common phrase "Welcome to nursing." W*T*H. This is it? The field of nursing nursing seems like a patchy grassland with some good here...nice and green...some barren dry areas...and many muddy waters (aka hospital nursing).

What are we going to do? Blame society, our polity, or the economy? Why am I so hallow on the floor?...when did I turn into a robot...who must finish her tasks and keep it moving. Little time for emotions or connections...even if a patient and family are tearful in the room because of a new life changing diagnosis. I see and hear their tears but my mind is focused on the meds I need to pass, my manager who is breathing down my neck, or whatever can of worms I must deal with in my other patient's rooms. The only reason I give a warm pat on the shoulder is because it seemed appropriate for the situation. The patient seemed to need it...and it works and the patient is reassured and more calm...but inside I feel nothing as I think of the other tasks at hand.

When I get home from work...I often reflect on my patients and how emotionally disconnected I was even when their lives were being turned upside down. I feel sympathy for them at home...disgust towards myself for my coldness on the floor...and loathing that I have to go back to that place. On the floor I have no time for sympathy. My goals are to keep my patients stable and safe and complete my tasks....so many tasks.

I knew nursing was going to be hard but I did not realize how much I would become cold. I give great customer service and give warm smiles to my patients and their families...but mostly inside I feel nothing for them. I just do my job and keep it moving. The fact I am this way brings self loathing. When did my smiles turn into a robotic tool to do my job rather than have genuine connection with an other being?

When the nursing school admissions council asked me 'why do you want to become a nurse?' My genuine answer was I want to help people and feel good about what I do. I do help people...but feeling good about helping my patients...that feeling has very much faded. I feel like a robot that must complete my tasks and keep it moving. I am even annoyed when they want to connect with me, in my mind "I have tasks to complete...I don't have time for this conversation, I don't want to get to know you better, I have tasks to complete.' And those are the nice ones. The unsavory patients, docs, and managers that leave a sour taste in my mouth, makes it all the more easier to be cold.

Weird...if I had known I would end up this way as a nurse inside...maybe I would have taken a different path.

The reason I say abuse culture...is because I have come to find in nursing that there is A LOT nurses will put up with at the expense of themselves. Stress, anxiety, depression, prescription medication, weight gain, insomnia, etc. Some realize it, some don't, and some just don't care. Any hospital nurse will lave a laundry list of the BS we have to put up with...but it is like there is a resolve that this is just nursing...it is what it is. Hospital nurses all know what's up.

This culture is so strong, that what is unreasonable in other professions...is not unreasonable in nursing. It is accepted. If a new nurse can't get with the program then she is told hospital nursing is not for you. Instead, maybe hospital nursing is not for nurses. How about that?

I hardly find people say this...nurses complain about how bad it is, how we are stretched so thin, how we don't get our breaks, how we never have a chance to eat or urinate, poor staffing, understaffing, the list goes on and on but people don't say...

Hey maybe it's not that this nurse is not fit to be a hospital nurse...forget about the 3-4 years she/he spent specifically training for nursing and proving herself/himself...but if she/he can't take crazy patient loads, poor staffing, etc...she is not a good fit? Why not the other way around?

I know it is not likely to change...these nursing conditions...but to accept it does not sit well with me. (by accept I mean: the vibe of hospital nursing is not for all nurses...no...it is...but not under the current conditions). I know there are unions and all that but very little is being done especially considering our numbers. Maybe it is not the new nurse who is struggling in the hospital...maybe it is the hospital that is dropping the ball. Maybe it is the culture of the hospital to abuse nurses and maybe it is nursing culture to accept it.

This abuse culture is so rampant you have nurses like me who are losing their souls at the expense of being good at my job. i can do my job and keep my patients safe but there is something so wrong. I am a med surg nurse. I am sure it may be waaaaaaaaaaaay better on other floors.

How far does it go that the abused don't even realize they are being abused? The ones who don't make it in the hospital are pushed to other fields of nursing. Fine...but I dare say it is not because the the nurse is not competent or can't manage patient care in the hospital conditions. Rather not every nurse can handle the hospital conditions that make it not condusive for success. Then people wonder 20% of nurses in their first year drop out of the profession completely. That is pretty high considering the time and money invested.

[BrandonLPN, LPN]

As far as feeling like an automaton performing endless tasks.... I think all new nurses feel this way. There's a learning curve. It takes a while to become fast at the more mundane task-like stuff. With time you will become faster. And more organized. And more confident in delegating. And you'll start to see the bigger picture, and realize your role is much more important than a pill-pusher. Even as a LPN in LTC, I have experienced that with time.

As to nursing being "harder" than most professions, yes, I guess it is. But i fully expected it to be harder than any of my previous jobs. Taking care of people and directing thier care is a huge responsibility. I knew that the clinical experience in nursing school bore little resemblence to actual nursing. Partly because I'm cynical/skeptical by nature. Partly becasue I worked as an aide prior to nursing school.

I suppose it must be a rude awakening for new nurses who begin their first job thinking it was going to be like what they learned in school. I'm grateful I never operated under that misconception.

[kungpoopanda]

Thank you for proving my point.

We can vent and stew, or formulate what can be improved and DO something about it; this can be done at the bedside; the work done can be formulated and proposed for academia, or join your local nursing chapter and network, or reach out to a nursing union; grass roots style.

You can't state nothing works when there are plenty of avenues conductive to change; change does occurs despite challenge; it has in the past, it is occurring now, and it will be available in the future.

I know how change works and have helped shape my workplace; through education on a subject of a disorder a pt had, to actual policies and a preceptorship program, it wouldn't have happened if there is a so-called "abuse culture", yet people are inclined to beeline that, and I'm not, because if that was the case, or expanded roles would have NEVER occurred, including nurse execs.

I haven't proved your point. I was pointing out that we all have a responsibility to provide leadership, and that there are opportunities to do so. I didn't say it was easy and it's not. In fact, change is not veiwed very positively and the culture of negativity (I'd call it that rather than flat out abuse) can be extremely diffcult to over come.

[NRSKarenRN, BSN, RN]

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[Kipahni, RN]

I know when I look at nursing I wish it to look more like " Call the midwife" on PBS and less like C-SPAN with a little more crazies and drugs.

But that is beside the point.

To the couple of posters who have pointed out that they get abused at work from co-workers and patients I have this to share

You teach people how to treat you. Meaning you are your own hero, advocate, change agent. If you do not like the way that you are being talked to, speak up. If you are physically being hurt, remove yourself and call security. If you are being dis respected state something like " This is unacceptable, I respect you as a person but I will not allow you to speak to me in this manner. Please refrain from ______. or change your tone when addressing me, I understand you are frustrated but that does not give you the right to ______. Now lets address the issue. I am your ally. It does no good to attack the one who is here to help you..... ect"

Now if the patient is delusional or dementia sometimes it is best just to say something reassuring or nothing at all and get a sitter or restraints.

Enough said about that

Second Point

I have been a Nurse for 8 years so I have not seen what nursing was like "back in the day" But I have worked in a Hospital setting where it was how I imagined what it was like to work as a nurse at that time (15-20 pt on a med surg floor. not very acute but we had to re sharpen needles and sterilize them for re-use. oxygen was one tank on the first floor. if you were coding someone you had to carry them on a gurney down two flights of stairs)

My point is I despise the argument that nursing is "harder" now. Can we all just stop comparing our memberes and put them back in our pants and agree that nursing is rough no matter what the era? Each time brings there own challenge as well as each specialty. What is tough to one person maybe a breeze to another- this does not negate the others suffering nor make them disillusioned.

Back to the original poster. Be the change you want to see in the world.

It may benefit you to go prn at another hospital as this will lend you to a different perspective. The community hospital values vary from the large cooperate or the doctor owned one. Volunteer at a free clinic.

I keep my sanity by staying objective, using my curiosity and creativity to find solutions to our nursing dilemmas. Yes it is sad that you feel you do not have the time to sit with the pt but if that is something important to you then maybe you should find a place where you can do that or when you get more experience you will learn how to become more efficient so that you can make time to do that. Or realize that you are human and that it is a 24 hour run business and it is ok if all the tasks were not done (so that you could sit with that patient) and the next shift has to pick up some slack.(as long as you let them know what needs to be done and a grateful thank you or a "I owe you one!" goes a long way)

And the revolving door thing with patients, that is just a human psycho/social/soul issue that is bigger then you. You are only in control of what can be done for the pt on your shift. Perhaps you will feel less "empty" at work if you seek to feed your soul outside of work with people you love- and deserve your love. Also with things you like to do. Instead of searching for work to be a source of nourishment.

I wish you the best on this Nursing Journey.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

I haven't proved your point. I was pointing out that we all have a responsibility to provide leadership and that there are opportunities to do so. I didn't say it was easy and it's not. In fact, change is not veiwed very positively and the culture of negativity (I'd call it that rather than flat out abuse) can be extremely diffcult to over come.[/quote']

But you did, though; we have a responsibility to OUR PRACTICE, even if it means to evolve it. Evolving our own practice at times can be difficult; but not IMPOSSIBLE to overcome.

[LadyFree28, BSN, LPN, RN]

It really saddens me that the OP is met with such vitriol when expressing his/her opinions. I understand that the opinions expressed could have been more eloquently stated or with less anger, but the point is well taken. [/quote']

What opinions were with "vitriol"??? Please provide posters quotes...I'm not good at "hearing" posts.

I've "heard" or rather, read frustration from the OP, otherwise, the conversation has been people sharing their viewpoints; no one is discrediting anyone's experiences; If I have been remiss, please quote. Thanks.

[campbellrn68]

HoneyBeGood...thank you! Although I have 2 decades on you, 2 previous careers, and 15+ years in nursing...and I also don't get it. In a posting I made about nurse on nurse sabotage, the reply's I got were rude, critical, and overly concerned with my reasons for posting rather than what I was looking for from the posting, which was input on the topic, not input on my examples of input. Basically many (not all...so don't get your panties in a bunch guys) of the big posters here seem to just go around ripping apart peoples postings rather than contributing constructively. Just goes to prove my nurse on nurse sabotage question. Anyway thank you and I don't feel that wanting a fulfilled feeling from your job is too much to ask. If we have to grin and bear it through our entire career, there is definitely a problem! Oh, and I am not a little girl who's life outlook has just suddenly crumbled...I have just been around long enough to know that if you are miserable in your job, it is not worth any amount of money...there are more important things in life!