Absolutely terrified of graduating, RN degree

[littleamyd]

I sincerely hope that I posted this in correct forum. If not, I do apologize for my mistake.

Which is exactly what I am full of- mistakes. I will make this as brief as possible without divulging into all the bits and pieces that make me tick.

I am a student nurse at a 2 year RN program. I will be graduating this December and then go on to take the NCLEX soon after. I was originally set to graduate this past May (2014), but a major life event happened a year ago (I got engaged!) and ended up not studying efficiently and managed to fail my final and my Maternal/Child class by less than half a point. That left me to return in the fall and retake the entire semester over again and pushing my graduation up by a semester as well.

Since then, heck, even before then, I have been scared out of my wits to become a nurse.

I have a servant's heart. I love to help people. But even in our skills labs, during skills demonstrations, I nearly have a panic attack every time I present myself to an instructor even though I know that I am fluent in the procedure I am performing.

And don't get me started on clinicals! Every time I enter a patient's room for the first time, I feel I could almost vomit. (TMI, I know) Even if it's just to introduce myself and get vitals. I am THAT NERVOUS. I've had patient's joke with me while I fumble with blood pressure cuffs and put them on the patient upside down.

I have a hard time talking to my patients because I feel like I always say the wrong thing. I hate waking patient's up or even getting an assessment. I feel like I'm doing everything in error.

I've never actually done anything to harm a patient. But the fear is there.

I'm scared the assessment I obtain won't be correct and somehow the patient will get hurt because of it later on.

I haven't practiced many skills in the hospital setting because I'm so scared to do it. (foleys, ng tubes, ivs, etc)

I understand that I have performance anxiety, but I don't know how to overcome it. I really want to get over my fears and gain confidence, but confidence is something I've never really had. I want to be able to sit and comfortably talk to my patients without making them or myself uncomfortable. I want to know when I am out on my own, that I can make it. But at this point in time, I'm not sure that I can.

Thank you for taking the time to read my little post. Any advice would be greatly appreciated.

[Kuriin, BSN, RN]

Have you tried practicing on your friends? I mean head-to-toe assessments. They can come up with their own labs and pathophysiologies and you can figure out what needs to be done.

[Lilianne]

I just graduated nursing school after a set-back and I feel the same way! My stomach turns into a knot Everytime I have to enter a patients room and feel like vomiting.

[CantDecideUsername]

I too am afraid of this

Literally makes me doubt my decision to be a nurse all the time

I hope these feelings go away with time! (I Think they will!)

[Everline]

I am going to graduate in December as well and I have a lot of anxiety over clinical days. Most times, I can't sleep well the night before and really dread going. I don't have a problem entering a patient's room, talking to them or taking vitals any more. (Well, most of the time, lol). I can even do my assessments without too much anxiety. But passing meds and doing skills—that's another story. My hands shake so bad and I feel like I'm breaking out in a sweat. It doesn't help that I have a clinical instructor who is extremely intimidating, though she is a good teacher. I also lack confidence, which is probably the main problem. I know confidence comes with time, practice and experience. I'm not sure there is anything you can do but push through the fear/anxiety to get the experience you need to be more confident. I think you know that avoiding doing skills during clinical is only going to prolong the discomfort. I have to push myself and do the skills, even when I feel nervous. Obviously, the more you do something, the easier it becomes. But all that is easier said than done, right?

When it comes to interacting with patients, I have found a certain amount of faking it actually helps. I don't mean faking knowledge. I mean imitating other people who you see do well interacting with patients. I have learned a lot from observing others. It's not necessary to be the greatest conversationalist. You will often not have the time to sit and talk for long. Your tone and manner are more important than the amount of words you say, IMO.

I wish the best of luck as you move toward graduation. One day we will remember these days and smile.

[tsm007]

I can totally sympathize. I have an anxiety disorder. It's taken some time for me to accept this. Once I am confident and comfortable my anxiety is better, but I had major performance anxiety during skills assessments. I actually usually don't have anxiety with patients when I am by myself, only when an instructor is watching me which is why I refused to give up. I finally went to a doctor because I was ticked off about my anxiety holding me back in life. It helped me tremendously. I am not attempting to give out medical advice here, but perhaps getting screened by your health care provider for an anxiety disorder might be helpful. Now that I've gotten over a lot of the testing anxiety I am finding my performance at clinicals is clicking as well.

[llg, PhD, RN]

I see 2 "best options" -- depending on how you want to view your problem.

1. Consider it a normal part of growing up that many people have faced over the years. If that is how you choose to view it ... then do the same thing that previous generations have done -- suck it up, put one foot in front of the other, and move forward. Life doesn't always "feel comfortable" -- but things usually feel more comfortable after you do them enough times.

2. View it as a performance anxiety disorder and seek professional counseling (and/or meds) for it.

When I was young, most of us felt as you describe -- but it was not socially acceptable to seek treatment. So most of us just sucked it up and moved forward on our own -- or with the emotional support of friends. But it's not unusual today for people to seek professional help these days. So if that's what you want to do, then ask your PCP for a referal -- Or perhaps your school can refer you to a counselor.