I am a new grad of 6 months on a Surgical/Ortho/Trauma floor. When I first started here, I was miserable. I'm very shy and it's hard for me to talk to new people. But in the past 2 months things have gotten so much better - I feel more comfortable, I know most of the interns and attendings, and I'm actually happy. Being a new nurse, I sometimes question what I need to page the intern about, and what I don't. Sometimes I call over things that seem important to me, but apparently aren't to the team. Up until this point the interns have been really nice and humored me, explaining gently when I ask that it was probably something that could have waited. But on Thursday all of that was ruined and now I am angry and upset and I'm not sure what I should do. So I'm just going to rant in a long post here, and hopefully feel better after getting this all out.
This past week I was working 7a-7:30p. Near the end of my day on Wednesday, one of my patients was complaining of increasing pain. She had just been started on percocets that morning, and they really weren't helping her. Her daughter was there and for obvious reasons, quite concerned. I told her I'd call the intern on call to see if he could change her pain meds to something else. I started paging him at 6pm and still had received no call back by 7pm. By this time, the daughter was furious, stating this was unacceptable and she wanted something done NOW. So I looked for the person who made the last order, who happened to be the chief resident for that team, and I paged him. Several times. After another half hour, he called back and I explained my patient's pain issue. He said to give her IV Dilaudid and he'd have the intern change her pain meds to po dilaudid. I did so, the patient and daughter were happy, and I went home.
Thursday morning I came in and was told by the night nurse that the same patient was doing wonderfully on the po dilaudid. She also told me that another daughter had called that night complaining that nobody gave her mother pain meds on Wednesday (which the night nurse assured her that I did). I went in to see my patient at 8:00 am- and she told me her pain was excrutiating and would not be able to do anything if the pain stayed that way. She wasn't due for more dilaudid for another hour and rather than have the same thing happen again (and have the daughter yell again) I decided to page the on call intern right away. It was the same intern on as Wednesday, and once again he did not call me back. After another hour of paging and no response, I spoke to my resource nurse to ask her advice. I wasn't sure if I should page the chief resident again, or if there was someone else on the team I should page instead. We looked at my patient's orders, and once again the chief had written the last order, so she suggested I call him. So I paged him several times with no call back. After 20 minutes, I happened to see the chief resident walking onto the floor, so I hurried over to him. Our conversation went something like this, all the while me trying to keep up with him as he continued walking away:
Me:"Oh I just paged you. I'm sorry, but Mrs. so and so is having more pain issues just like she did yesterday-
MD: "This is the first I've heard of this."
Me: "well I've been paging the intern for an hour-"
MD: "He's in the OR."
Me: "Well, he never called me back to tell me that. Anyway, Mrs. so and so-"
MD: "There's a third year resident you should have called."
Me: "Well, I didn't know that."
MD: "Next time call the third year." and he stormed off muttering.
At this point I just stood there with my mouth open. Luckily, my nurse manager was walking right around the corner and she grabbed me and pulled me into her office right away as I began to cry hysterically. Apparently, the MD had been swearing at me as he walked away. Whether it was "f you", or "f off" I don't know, but my nurse manager heard him and he didn't abbreviate. She told me she immediately turned to this resident and told him that they needed to talk. He told her he was busy and kept walking. I explained to her the whole issue and what had happened. She assured me that I did nothing wrong and that there was no excuse for his behavior. I'm supposed to be the patient advocate, yadda yadda yadda. While I felt better when she spoke with me, the rest of the day I obviously felt like crap. I kept questioning everything I did. It's hard to stand up for yourself when you're new and you're not convinced that what you did was right. And being shy doesn't help. Anyways, my manager said she'd definitely speak to this resident and his attending. I've been off since that day, and I'm so nervous to go back in on Wednesday. I'm so scared that I'm going to have another patient on that team. And what if my nurse manager doesn't do anything - should I do something? Part of me wants to stand up for myself. He really made me feel like I was worth nothing, a lowly nurse. But part of me just wants to pretend it didn't happen and not cause any tension. I'm just so angry, I wish I could have yelled right back at this guy.
Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.
Oh sweetie been there, done that. You have to learn assertiveness and not allow ANYONE talk to you that way. That sort of abuse is not to be tolerated. You received a lot of good advice from others before me. Hang in there , get some good books on assertiveness and buck up. You can do this!!! No one can make you feel badly about yourself without YOUR permission, after all!
I remember at Parkland years ago. This nasty little 2nd year resident started yelling at me in front of patients families and coworkers. I punched in the face and broke his nose. No resident ever yelled at me again.
I've been in situations where I wanted to start acting as childish as the doctor, one of these days I will get up the nerve...but I'm surprised this doc didn't get you for assault.
When I was rotating through the OR in nursing school one of the RN scrub nurses was prepping a patient for a c-section. She was being very careful and thorough, had the whole woman's belly slathered with betadine...here comes Dr. Good (his real name) and apparently he wasn't impressed. He jumped all over this poor woman for making a mess and called one of the other nurses to come clean it up and do it the right way. This little nurse ran out of the OR and a later (after I saw the c-section I was sent out) I saw her coming out of the changing room with her eyes red and swollen in her street clothes and was on her way home. I felt so sorry for her. Like it or not, doctors attitudes and bad days are something nurses (most always female nurses, I have never seen a doctor degrade a male nurse the way he has a female)will have to put up with. I'm somewhat hardened to it, but it isn't ever easy to take.
Like it or not, doctors attitudes and bad days are something nurses (most always female nurses, I have never seen a doctor degrade a male nurse the way he has a female)will have to put up with.
I've been in situations where I wanted to start acting as childish as the doctor, one of these days I will get up the nerve...but I'm surprised this doc didn't get you for assault.
When I was rotating through the OR in nursing school one of the RN scrub nurses was prepping a patient for a c-section. She was being very careful and thorough, had the whole woman's belly slathered with betadine...here comes Dr. Good (his real name) and apparently he wasn't impressed. He jumped all over this poor woman for making a mess and called one of the other nurses to come clean it up and do it the right way. This little nurse ran out of the OR and a later (after I saw the c-section I was sent out) I saw her coming out of the changing room with her eyes red and swollen in her street clothes and was on her way home. I felt so sorry for her. Like it or not, doctors attitudes and bad days are something nurses (most always female nurses, I have never seen a doctor degrade a male nurse the way he has a female)will have to put up with. I'm somewhat hardened to it, but it isn't ever easy to take.
They probably don't want to take the chance that one of the male members of our profession might wait for them in the parking lot.
It is the classic abusive mentality - pick only on those you perceive as unable or unlikely to defend themselves, so you don't get your @$$ kicked.
I too have been the victim of aggression and rude language in my 15 year career as a nurse. Sadly I think that kind of behaviour is rife in the medical profession. Bullying and harrassment seems to be well tolerated by our colleagues. However it is unacceptable in the nursing profession. I think you did the right thing is referring the matter to your nursing superior. Hopefully she will discuss the incident with the medical consultant (who ever is in charge of the Registrar) and will get back to you with what occurred. You most certainly deserve an apology for such unprofessional behaviour and perhaps that doctor may think before taking out his frustrations on undeserving nurses just trying to do their job.
For the OP- Congratulations! You've had your first drive-by swearing!
It's like your first period, painful, but necessary, and it will happen again regularly. You didn't do anything wrong, you went to your manager and she is helping you deal with the followup this time. Ask her about how she approached the doc and what happened so you will be more knowledgeable when YOU have to do the talking.
For right now, have a statement ready for any inappropriate behavior you might receive. It makes you more confident, and it gives you a few seconds to think about what has happened. Mine is "Don't speak to me like that" in a very low serious voice. then silence so they have a moment to think about what they just said. Some will apologize immediately, some will storm off, and will dig their own grave even deeper by going off completely. The first two are easy to handle, and the third- think of it as a free floor show. No need to cry, really (hugs), and it will get easier every time. Just remember to consult with more experienced staff (like you did) when you are getting into a tough situation. And remember that EVERYONE makes mistakes, every doc and every nurse, it's how you handle them that makes you shine.
This will happen again if you allow it. I had a similar experience and the doc thought he could get away with the verbal abuse. I raised my voice and said, " I am NOT YOUR wife so lower your voice and GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF SIR, you are a doctor... behave like one."
Document everything. If an MD refuses or does not return your call ...document this!!!!
" Called dr. so&so @ 0000hours re: pt report of uncontrolled pain. /your name and ask a fellow nurse to cosign.
Here you have a "log" of your calls ... on paper. He can't call you a liar, and he/she looks like an unprofessional, disgruntled, abusive fool to the medical board. Once the MD realizes that this behavior will not be tolerated and they are looking at losing hospital privileges they will usually get off their high horse and behave.
Sometimes people need to be reminded that they are not at home and that abusive behavior is not tolerated in the work place. This applies to everyone.
Also, if they give you a hard time say something like ( in a matter of fact tone of voice)
"Okay, well, I will make a note in the patient's chart that you are refusing to give orders for Mr. X".
This works. Trust me. They will snap back into "civility mode" pronto!!!!
Stay cool, and like the old saying goes " Don't let them see you sweat".
This will happen again if you allow it. I had a similar experience and the doc thought he could get away with the verbal abuse. I raised my voice and said, " I am NOT YOUR wife so lower your voice and GET A HOLD OF YOURSELF SIR, you are a doctor... behave like one."
Document everything. If an MD refuses or does not return your call ...document this!!!!
" Called dr. so&so @ 0000hours re: pt report of uncontrolled pain. /your name and ask a fellow nurse to cosign.
Here you have a "log" of your calls ... on paper. He can't call you a liar, and he/she looks like an unprofessional, disgruntled, abusive fool to the medical board. Once the MD realizes that this behavior will not be tolerated and they are looking at losing hospital privileges they will usually get off their high horse and behave.
Sometimes people need to be reminded that they are not at home and that abusive behavior is not tolerated in the work place. This applies to everyone.
Also, if they give you a hard time say something like ( in a matter of fact tone of voice)
"Okay, well, I will make a note in the patient's chart that you are refusing to give orders for Mr. X".
This works. Trust me. They will snap back into "civility mode" pronto!!!!
Stay cool, and like the old saying goes " Don't let them see you sweat".
this is EXACTLY what i've said and will continue to say when it comes to dealing with anyone that tries to disregard the patients and belittle you as a human being.
Make sure ALL nurses know about the chief. Perhaps he needs paged more often.
An "old" nurse taught me years ago that many Docs have ego problems. She told me to whisper to someone else when the Doc is in the room. It worked. I have used this many times when I felt the need.
leslie :-D
11,191 Posts
wow, you're old.
and i guess it would have to be thorazine since the lobotomy didn't work.