A reminder to ALWAYS listen to your patients.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 15, 2004

Good avice.

CHATSDALE · Nov 16, 2004

i had a resident who kept calling for Maggie to come in....when he was lucid he would talk and carry on an ordinary conversation and tell you his needs...very dignified old gentlemen

but sometimes he would sink into a coma like state for hours at a time...but one time toward the end he became so insistant about seeing maggie that i called his nok a neice and asked her who maggie was...she didn't have a clue...later she called me back and told me that she had found out from an elderly relative that Maggie was his little sister who had drowned when she was 8.....was she there waiting for him...was his mind taking him back to a happier time...did he feel quilt all these years because he had not been able to save her...many questions no answers

NurseFirst · Nov 16, 2004

i had a resident who kept calling for Maggie to come in....when he was lucid he would talk and carry on an ordinary conversation and tell you his needs...very dignified old gentlemen
but sometimes he would sink into a coma like state for hours at a time...but one time toward the end he became so insistant about seeing maggie that i called his nok a neice and asked her who maggie was...she didn't have a clue...later she called me back and told me that she had found out from an elderly relative that Maggie was his little sister who had drowned when she was 8.....was she there waiting for him...was his mind taking him back to a happier time...did he feel quilt all these years because he had not been able to save her...many questions no answers

That it is not at all uncommon for a person near death to see or hear relatives who have already passed on.

NurseFirst

ADS RN · Nov 16, 2004

I had a terminal private duty pt. He would start to go then the family would call everyone in to say goodbye and by the time the supervisor would get there he'd be "ok". One night when I worked a double he said "Come on Connie ,lets go." I asked him where we were going, he said "to the other side." Couldn't seem to help him over after I told him to go ahead and wait for me there, so I woke up his pastor in the chair sleeping. He didn't have much more luck. On the way home I'd jerk awake and think , he knew something!What he was hanging on for was his dtr was pregnant with the 1st grandchild and toxcemic,I think he wanted to make sure that they were ok. She couldn't attend the funneral because she had just given birth.

2 years ago I had a near death experience according to ER and my DR. I had a 1:1,000,000 side effect of clindamycin. Pancytopenia- septic, raging UTI and a WBC od 2. They said they'd never seen such low values across the board. ER said 1/2 hr longer and I wouldn't have been there. I never felt any impending doom and was aware all of the time in ICU etc. My chemistry changed because I would stop a watch even with new batteries within a day. I got a lapel watch and put it in my blouse pocket for a seminar and it was offf 2 hrs. My DR. said with a near death experience that your core energy changes and asked if I could move things with my eyes. Yeah right I think you have to believe that you can do it before it would work. Aside from that with my luck the wrong things would be moving and no doubt out of control!! I do have to admit I would definately prefer to get my old labs back. Chol, Lipids, Blood sugar have all decided to give me a run for my oney, I've almost got them on the high side with meds & diet.

lauralew · Nov 18, 2004

Last night, one of our patients told a nurse (early on in the shift), "I'm crapping out on you tonight.".
Okay - PuhLease don't say that in an ICU!!
Gives me the heebee-geebees when a pt. says something like that to me.
He coded and passed away between 0430 and 0500 this morning.
Moral of the story: ALWAYS listen to your patients.
Why is it that these patients usually know when "IT" is going to happen? :stone

Oh man! That happened twice in a CV-ICU in which I used to work--the patients suddenly asked for their children to be called urgently in the middle of the night. One had been doing really well. They both coded and died as soon as the grown kids got there. Those incidents have guided my practice ever since--believe the patients. That is what we are supposed to do anyway, and incidents like yours and mine bring that home!

vickster · Nov 18, 2004

I work in palliative care, dying is still part of living...an amazing part.

I work in LTC and we had a lady who was 108 and in her final days, (I kept saying "I'll believe it when I see it...") but she did finally take a turn. This lady hadn't spoken a word or opened her eyes for years. At the moment she died, she had a HUGE smile on her face, opened her eyes with tears rolling down her face. The aide that was with me nearly fainted, but I felt blessed to witness something so ethereal.

Emperess · Nov 20, 2004

When it became clear that my great-grandfather was in his last days, my family kept vigil at his bedside for days, not wanting him to be alone when he died. They talked to him, reminisced, and sang songs while my music therapist aunt played guitar. My mom and aunt were there, telling him that it was okay for him to go to his wife, that we loved him and she was waiting for him, and to let go, it's okay. As they tell it, he turned his head towards them ever so slightly, without opening his eyes (had been pretty much comatose for a couple of days), and gently pushed their hands away from his, away from his body. They looked at each other and knew instantly. "He doesn't want us to be here". They kissed him with tears running, told him goodbyes and we love yous, then it was a short drive home. Sure enough, less than 10 minutes after walking through the door, the phone rang...

lynn27 · Nov 20, 2004

There's a story in my family that a great aunt of mine was terminally ill with cancer and was in the process of dying. Her daughter stayed with her, and as she was drifting away, her daughter would become frantic and call her mother back. This happened several times until my great aunt asked her to leave the room--saying that she could not die while her daughter was so distraught. Finally, her daughter gave up and left the room and my great aunt died immediately.

Birdie RN · Nov 21, 2004

I had this buddy of mine, good friend and old high school sweet heart that had testicular cancer. I was newly married and had moved to Texas but he and I kept in touch. Christmas was 2 days away and it was to be my husband and I first Christmas together. Then a mutual friend called me after searching high and low for me - my buddy was asking for me. :crying2: My buddy was in Virginia. I knew I had to go and I wanted to take my husband with me but the price of the plane ticket was too much for both of us to go. I thought about putting it off maby a week or two so the airfare would be lower, but someting in my gut said go. My husband was so understanding. I went to be with him and his family and he passed just after Christmas. He knew, and I am posative he waited for me to get there. I am glad I listened. :rolleyes:

TracyB,RN, RN · Nov 21, 2004

When my Gram passed, it was sooo weird.... my uncle in China on business, my aunt on vacay, my brother finishing up his final days of boot camp, & me trying to get through LPN program. Aunt, Uncle, & brother all home within 24 hours of each other. Gram had talked to each one on the telephone.... Dead early the next morning. We joke that it was just like Gramma to make sure it was convenient for everyone... The last thing she said to me was that she was so proud of me for becoming a nurse, the very thing that 3 of her sisters had done, but she didn't b/c she got married instead & that she had sometimes regretted not becoming a nurse, but was proud of me for carrying on the nursing tradition in the family. I just know she was with me the day I took boards for LPN & then RN. I could just feel this totally eerie peace on both of those days.

mariedoreen · Nov 21, 2004

This has turned into a beautiful thread.. My mother-in-law was only in her late 40s when she was given a terminal dx for her ovarian sarcoma. A beautiful woman, I have never known anyone so "pure of heart" in all my life. She had been bed bound for several months and because the cancer had metastasized to her brain, not very lucid for weeks and weeks. There were a lot of conversations about how we should melt marshmallows on our hamburgers etc... and we would smile and join into the conversation because to be able to talk with her in any form was truly a gift. Then unfortunately came the time when we had her to talk with less and less and the conversations made less and less sense and then no sense and then for a couple of weeks she was not awakening or communicating at all. Then my father-in-law called, incredulous, to tell us about how she had opened her eyes and smiled and began to talk. He had been astounded to discover that she was completely lucid, as though the cancer had never gone to her brain. They spent the next few hours talking and reminiscing about their life together. They sang songs and held hands and then she closed her eyes once again. She passed away two days later without awakening or speaking again.

An amazing gift.

tiroka03, LPN · Nov 21, 2004

I remember as a new nurse, we had a late transfer to our unit. He looked really healthy. As I did my assessment on him, his vitals were great and he looked very healthy. As I was finishing up my things, he told me he was going to die today. I wasn't very fond of the death experience, and said, well could you at least wait unitl my shift is over. He replied, so when is that, and I told him 11pm. I never for an instant took him seriously. But, I was asked to stay late and work part of the night shift that night. When I walked in to do his vitals, he said, I thought you said you were leaving at 11pm. I said I was going to, but they asked me to stay a little later tonight. So, he asked how long, and I replied around 2am. I actually left at 1:30 and he died at 2am.

Now days, many years later, I accept death when it comes. On a long term or hospice unit, I find that death is something people are waiting for. Most are no longer afraid of dying, but it is actually looked forward to. Many times people asked me, what is it I need to do in order to die. One told me, I have tried everything, I've tried bouncing my body up - hoping my spirit would just keep going. Help me figure this out.

A lot of times I can sense when death has entered the room, can't explain it, it's a feeling. I will look at the person and just know in a min or two they will be gone. I have even been outside a room and sensed it. I am not particularly fond of that experience either.

When sitting with my mom, waiting for her to pass, I was on the phone talking to my brother's answering machine. I had hoped he was home, and I could put the phone to my mom's ear and he could say goodbye. I thing she thought I was actually talking in person to him, and she died during the converstation, I sensed it and turned around to see her take her last breath. I was so mad she was taken away when I wasn't ready, I acutally reached up and tried to grab the angle who took her, and gave him a few choice words.

I was surprised by my actions, but, for me I can usually sense a difference in the room.

A nurse once called me into a room to check out a pt of hers, I had never seen before. The dtr was there, and the mom was sleeping. We talked for a few mins and all of a sudden I get that weird feeling, and said quickly now, go say goodbye to your mom, she is activiely dying right now. Her mom died 2 mins later

I don't know what the dying person feels, but I wonder if it's anything like I sense.