A New RN, Quit Job after 5 Months

Nurses New Nurse

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I am a new nurse and had my first nursing job in a medical/surgical unit. I was in orientation for only 6 weeks, and I came from another country, so it was twice as hard for me to adjust to everything. Every single night from work, I'd come home drained out and miserable. I usually stay in the floor 2-3 hours after my scheduled shift to finish documentation, which killed me more. I used to be very resolved that I was going to be a great nurse. I did great in school and my instructors believed in me. However, when I came to the US and started working, I myself lost the once vigor and confidence I had. The longer I stayed in the unit I worked at, the lower self-esteem and self-fulfillment I had. And I thought to myself, "I can't work like this." Although everyone told me that it would take a year or two before you really become comfortable with nursing, everyday I felt like hell and questioned myself for being there. After a little less than 5 months on the job, I decided to resign...because the job was eating me up slowly that I didn't want to start my career with misery.

Now that I am in search for another job, I am questioning whether I did make the right decision of leaving. I was so resolved to leave that time, however, now that I am going through interviews and waiting for calls, I feel down and ask myself, "was I a coward? OR was I brave enough to get out of the situation that was dragging me down?" I know not everyone could understand what I went through, and every time why I left the job, I feel too tired to explain already since they wouldn't really understand.

I have been looking for a specialty other than bedside nursing, specifically med/surg. A place with lesser acuity, something that would hopefully rekindle my love for nursing. However, it's been 2 weeks and I rarely ever get a call back.

I am getting depressed as each day comes and although I am trying to stay positive, I don't know if my career will ever get back on track. However, a very good friend would always reassure me, "it will just take time. take your time and have faith. You made a bold decision, right or wrong, that was your decision. Don't worry, it will get better."

I hang on to her words.. but I don't know what hope nursing profession has in store for me.

Specializes in Forensic Psychiatric Nursing.

Any particular reason you didn't stay in your home country?

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Specializes in NICU Level III.

i hated my first nursing job for the first seven months. it was hard, stressful, and i felt completely slow and incompetent. the longer you stay at something, the better you get at it.

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I_Scream and LadyQT - move over and let me in this boat with you! I too quit my job after only 8 weeks, but it was mostly because I switched from orienting on days to orienting on nights and ARRRGGHHH!!! It was like hell. I was not sleeping at all, lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks (that can't be good), I was shaking and crying and a wreck. I knew I couldn't do it anymore. A person can only go so long without sleep, then they die or something I've heard. (haha)

I was hired as a new grad on the Labor & Delivery floor - the only unit I ever wanted to work on. The work was long, hard and tiring, but I was gradually getting it. Some of the other nurses were ******* from hell though and that didn't help. But others were great. I believe I would have gotten it well in a few more months. But nights... I just couldn't do it. It was literally making me sick. Not everyone can do nights, and I've come to the realization that I am one of those people. I just can.not.sleep during the day, period, even with AMBIEN! If you can't sleep on Ambien, you can't sleep!

So here it's been about 2 months since I quit my job (begged to go on days PRN or whatever they could do - they said it wasn't possible). I've been working flu shot clinics here and there and I actually enjoy them. I love the interaction with the (healthy) public and the social aspects of seeing 100 people a day. I've been trying to figure out if working in a hospital is really what I'm called to do. It doesn't feel like it. So I've put in resumes at many of the specialty physician's offices in town but have not heard a word back (except for one office that called to tell me they had nothing at the moment, that was nice). I'm feeling a bit desperate now. I'm questioning whether nursing was a bad choice for me. I don't feel "called" to it anymore. I am actually having negative feelings when I think about it - anxiety, sadness, etc. That can't be good!

I hope (and pray) you both find a well-fitting job for you. I will pray for you two and I hope you'll pray for me, too. He knows what He has called us to, and I believe He will reveal it to us when the time is right!

~Christy

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I_Scream and LadyQT - move over and let me in this boat with you! I too quit my job after only 8 weeks, but it was mostly because I switched from orienting on days to orienting on nights and ARRRGGHHH!!! It was like hell. I was not sleeping at all, lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks (that can't be good), I was shaking and crying and a wreck. I knew I couldn't do it anymore. A person can only go so long without sleep, then they die or something I've heard. (haha)

I was hired as a new grad on the Labor & Delivery floor - the only unit I ever wanted to work on. The work was long, hard and tiring, but I was gradually getting it. Some of the other nurses were ******* from hell though and that didn't help. But others were great. I believe I would have gotten it well in a few more months. But nights... I just couldn't do it. It was literally making me sick. Not everyone can do nights, and I've come to the realization that I am one of those people. I just can.not.sleep during the day, period, even with AMBIEN! If you can't sleep on Ambien, you can't sleep!

So here it's been about 2 months since I quit my job (begged to go on days PRN or whatever they could do - they said it wasn't possible). I've been working flu shot clinics here and there and I actually enjoy them. I love the interaction with the (healthy) public and the social aspects of seeing 100 people a day. I've been trying to figure out if working in a hospital is really what I'm called to do. It doesn't feel like it. So I've put in resumes at many of the specialty physician's offices in town but have not heard a word back (except for one office that called to tell me they had nothing at the moment, that was nice). I'm feeling a bit desperate now. I'm questioning whether nursing was a bad choice for me. I don't feel "called" to it anymore. I am actually having negative feelings when I think about it - anxiety, sadness, etc. That can't be good!

I hope (and pray) you both find a well-fitting job for you. I will pray for you two and I hope you'll pray for me, too. He knows what He has called us to, and I believe He will reveal it to us when the time is right!

~Christy

Wow christy! I know this doesn't sound right but I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one. And I'm sure we're not the only ones! I also am feeling the same way as you do, sad and depressed and desperate when I think about it, but it was a decision that I couldn't take back. In retrospect, I tell myself that maybe I would've lasted, or maybe it just takes a little time to really get into the groove of all this nursing madness! As for me, if I'll be given another opportunity to work in a hospital, maybe I'd be tougher and more likely to just suck it up, thinking that I'm not the only one going through this. I guess I'd still consider getting another hospital job and I hope that comes. Hopefully this experience will make me/us better nurses in which ever area we will be successful at someday.

Let's keep on going. I'm sure a lot of new grads get off to a rocky start, but it's up to us to take the next step forward. It's really hard to be optimistic now, but... hope is our only hope isnt it?

Good luck and keep in close touch!

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Wow christy! I know this doesn't sound right but I'm happy to know that I'm not the only one. And I'm sure we're not the only ones! I also am feeling the same way as you do, sad and depressed and desperate when I think about it, but it was a decision that I couldn't take back. In retrospect, I tell myself that maybe I would've lasted, or maybe it just takes a little time to really get into the groove of all this nursing madness! As for me, if I'll be given another opportunity to work in a hospital, maybe I'd be tougher and more likely to just suck it up, thinking that I'm not the only one going through this. I guess I'd still consider getting another hospital job and I hope that comes. Hopefully this experience will make me/us better nurses in which ever area we will be successful at someday.

Let's keep on going. I'm sure a lot of new grads get off to a rocky start, but it's up to us to take the next step forward. It's really hard to be optimistic now, but... hope is our only hope isnt it?

Good luck and keep in close touch!

Sounds good - I'll keep pluggin away if you will! I'm thinking of looking for a hospital job again but the thought of it is churning my stomach. Maybe I'm just not cut out for hospital nursing? I don't know. I'm hoping one of the physician offices will call me but so far... nuttin. I guess we'll see.

I'm thinking about psych nursing too. There is a part-time position open at a local hospital for adolescent psych nursing. I have a special passion and love for teenagers, and I know it would be hard, but I think it might be more up my alley. I guess we'll see!

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Specializes in IMCU.

I_Scream, LadyQT and Christy and all strugglers! Wow can I relate. I transfered from MICU after 6 wks to the "Intermediate Care Unit" of our level two trauma center hospital which is also the major teaching hospital in our area of Southeast TN. On our unit we take care of 3 very sick patients instead of two pts. After I finished my 6 wks orientation on IMCU, I was assigned 3 trach patients, 2 who were on vents and two who were in isolation and all were tube feeds and two in restraints. Each had multiple po meds which had to be crushed, not to mention IV push and electrolytes to monitor and hang. All this my first night off orientation. Some of my many former preceptors had assured me that they would be there to help me and were true to their word, but they weren't always able to drop what they were doing to help me though they did what they could.

I had a couple of charge nurses who didn't help, one who meant well, but answered every question I asked with a question to "make me think" and another who basically ridiculed me and tried very hard to make me look stupid and never offered to put in a single order for me or put a chart together. Fortunately she isn't charge very often and as I have gotten to know her, I see her insecurities and just go to someone else on whom I can depend if I need to. The charge nurse who likes to "make me think" still likes to ask questions instead of giving me direct answers. She hasn't figured out yet that I willingly think on my own and ask questions when I am trying to decide between options or when the situation is emergent and I need a quick answer then. Well fortunately I find that I can schedule myself to work on nights that the 3 charge nurses whom I prefer are scheduled with some exceptions. The one who won't answer direct questions and I get along fine, I just have to be prepared that this is her style. I have been known to tell her up front "I need a direct answer now, this is urgent!"

Sometimes I get it.

I honestly felt and still do feel that I was heaped with some of the most acute cases in an effort to see if I had what it took. Maybe it was because I transferred out of MICU and the folks on IMCU wanted me to see that it was no picnic on this floor. Well point well taken if that was the case. But I am as tough as nails and I don't give up easy. I figured that since I had transferred once, I wasn't going to get in that position again. I would personally have felt like a failure, so I hung with it. It was hard as hell for about 4 months, then I noticed it wasn't so bad. I think a couple of things happened. I learned to not stress so much. I just realized that the main thing was to take as good care of my patients as possible and not expect to be able to do everything I wanted or even needed to. No I did not always turn all my patients q 2 hours, I didn't always remember mouth care as bad as I hate to admit it. I didn't even always remember to check residuals q 4 hours or flush every iv every time q shift. But I worked very hard to get it all done and deal with emergent situations as timely as I could. I stayed till 10 am alot of mornings finishing my paper work after giving report to a couple of Nazi day nurses who jumped on any hint of weakness. They made me more and more determined.

My skill level and time management ability increased tremendously with practice. After doing a couple of hundred proceedures you get pretty fast and you learn to save steps and plan ahead by getting all your flexiflos out of the pyxis and checking all lines to see which have to be replaced on first rounds and pulling the new lines all at once from pyxis or supply room. Same with lables, alcohol, peroxide, kerlex, sponges, toothettes, green pads etc. I am still learning everyday. Mouth care takes only a couple of minutes if you include it with your rounds, same with turning. My patients still probably don't get turned as often as they should but it is a part of my routine. Getting help can be a major ordeal and I refuse to hurt my back doing most patients by myself, so I still am not up to speed there.

Lastly, who ever makes out the assignments seems to have got it. I am no longer getting a disporportionate share of trachs, vents, tubes and isolation patients. I get some but not all. That gives me time to help the "new nurses" who were May grads and licensed June through Sept. I precepted many of them and they know they can come to me with questions and for help. I still don't know as many answers as I would like but I know who to ask and direct them to ask when I am unsure. Usually I want to know too, so we go together to someone whom I know can be trusted and want treat them or me like idiots. These new nurses are very willing to help me with turns and grabbing extra stuff I need and may have forgotten.

I have been on my unit since January 08 and I am still learning, but I am no longer constantly frightened. I still have an occasional personality clash with a tech who doesn't want to give me any assistance, but I get through even the bad nights and the worst ones are better than the best ones were during my first 3 months off orientation. The learning curve has a lot to do with how we operate and how we feel.

This is a long reply but I hope my experience will help anyone struggling and doubting themselves. Just hang tough!

Mahage

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Hi,

I just wanted to say hang in there, after graduating i worked in at a hospital after and after 5 months left because Of a preceptor who felt it was her duty to make me feel like worm dirt (to put in nicely) on a regular basis. I recently found a job a couple of months ago at a docs office and i LOVE IT, I work with nice people and am treated with respect by my other co workers and the physician i work for. yeah, it's not the hospital but I still ensure the safety of my patients and work to make sure there needs are met. Don' t give up, and good luck to you. god bless.. you will find your niche...

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Hi, I_scream and ladyQT

I feel so happy that I am not the only one. I quit my job after 6 months working on an oncology floor. My preceptor was not the nice person anyone wants to work with, I still kept my hopes up and thought I would be ok. But it turns out switching from days to nights and working under so much pressure everyday, it just burn me out. I am now starting look for a new job, I just had an interview today. I felt I did horrible, and this hospital seems worse than the one I worked before. God, I hope I didn't make a mistake by quitting that job...........

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Hi, I_scream and ladyQT

I feel so happy that I am not the only one. I quit my job after 6 months working on an oncology floor. My preceptor was not the nice person anyone wants to work with, I still kept my hopes up and thought I would be ok. But it turns out switching from days to nights and working under so much pressure everyday, it just burn me out. I am now starting look for a new job, I just had an interview today. I felt I did horrible, and this hospital seems worse than the one I worked before. God, I hope I didn't make a mistake by quitting that job...........

I know what you mean. But it doesn't help to worry about what has already happened. Just keep moving forward and looking for the "right" thing for you. I feel certain there are enough options in nursing that something more suited to you (and me and the others here) will turn up.

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Specializes in IMCU.
I_Scream, LadyQT and Christy and all strugglers! Wow can I relate. I transfered from MICU after 6 wks to the "Intermediate Care Unit" of our level two trauma center hospital "

I meant to say Level One Trauma Center......definately NOT level 2.

Mahage

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Specializes in LTC, case mgmt, agency.
I_Scream and LadyQT - move over and let me in this boat with you! I too quit my job after only 8 weeks, but it was mostly because I switched from orienting on days to orienting on nights and ARRRGGHHH!!! It was like hell. I was not sleeping at all, lost 20 pounds in 3 weeks (that can't be good), I was shaking and crying and a wreck. I knew I couldn't do it anymore. A person can only go so long without sleep, then they die or something I've heard. (haha)

I was hired as a new grad on the Labor & Delivery floor - the only unit I ever wanted to work on. The work was long, hard and tiring, but I was gradually getting it. Some of the other nurses were ******* from hell though and that didn't help. But others were great. I believe I would have gotten it well in a few more months. But nights... I just couldn't do it. It was literally making me sick. Not everyone can do nights, and I've come to the realization that I am one of those people. I just can.not.sleep during the day, period, even with AMBIEN! If you can't sleep on Ambien, you can't sleep!

So here it's been about 2 months since I quit my job (begged to go on days PRN or whatever they could do - they said it wasn't possible). I've been working flu shot clinics here and there and I actually enjoy them. I love the interaction with the (healthy) public and the social aspects of seeing 100 people a day. I've been trying to figure out if working in a hospital is really what I'm called to do. It doesn't feel like it. So I've put in resumes at many of the specialty physician's offices in town but have not heard a word back (except for one office that called to tell me they had nothing at the moment, that was nice). I'm feeling a bit desperate now. I'm questioning whether nursing was a bad choice for me. I don't feel "called" to it anymore. I am actually having negative feelings when I think about it - anxiety, sadness, etc. That can't be good!

I hope (and pray) you both find a well-fitting job for you. I will pray for you two and I hope you'll pray for me, too. He knows what He has called us to, and I believe He will reveal it to us when the time is right!

~Christy

I can totally relate! I was doing fine at the hospital taking a full patient load and no worries on nights and pm shifts but when I moved to days.......EKKKK! My preceptor and I did not get along and after 3 weeks on days I left. I am now doing 2 nursing homes and working prn agency and so far it is ok. I really kinda want my foot int he door at a hospital too though. I am just not sure how to get back in since I left the other hospital during orientation. I'll say a prayer for you and the others who are in the same/similar situation. God bless.:redpinkhe

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Thanks Melinurse - and I will return that favor to you, too.

This nursing thing is a lot more challenging than I ever thought it would be, but I think we can all succeed if given the right opportunity. I wish you the best!

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