A New RN, Quit Job after 5 Months

[I_Scream]

I am a new nurse and had my first nursing job in a medical/surgical unit. I was in orientation for only 6 weeks, and I came from another country, so it was twice as hard for me to adjust to everything. Every single night from work, I'd come home drained out and miserable. I usually stay in the floor 2-3 hours after my scheduled shift to finish documentation, which killed me more. I used to be very resolved that I was going to be a great nurse. I did great in school and my instructors believed in me. However, when I came to the US and started working, I myself lost the once vigor and confidence I had. The longer I stayed in the unit I worked at, the lower self-esteem and self-fulfillment I had. And I thought to myself, "I can't work like this." Although everyone told me that it would take a year or two before you really become comfortable with nursing, everyday I felt like hell and questioned myself for being there. After a little less than 5 months on the job, I decided to resign...because the job was eating me up slowly that I didn't want to start my career with misery.

Now that I am in search for another job, I am questioning whether I did make the right decision of leaving. I was so resolved to leave that time, however, now that I am going through interviews and waiting for calls, I feel down and ask myself, "was I a coward? OR was I brave enough to get out of the situation that was dragging me down?" I know not everyone could understand what I went through, and every time why I left the job, I feel too tired to explain already since they wouldn't really understand.

I have been looking for a specialty other than bedside nursing, specifically med/surg. A place with lesser acuity, something that would hopefully rekindle my love for nursing. However, it's been 2 weeks and I rarely ever get a call back.

I am getting depressed as each day comes and although I am trying to stay positive, I don't know if my career will ever get back on track. However, a very good friend would always reassure me, "it will just take time. take your time and have faith. You made a bold decision, right or wrong, that was your decision. Don't worry, it will get better."

I hang on to her words.. but I don't know what hope nursing profession has in store for me.

[AddieRN]

I'm in the exact same boat. I'm a new grad, just finished in May. I started out on a telemetry floor, I was hired to do nights, but the night-time schedule was full, so I was put on days. I just could not keep up on days. I had a full load of 5-6 patients, and between new orders, patients going to procedures, passing meds, getting my assessments in and charted, my phone ringing off the hook! and whatever else thrown my way, I couldn't keep up. I was always, and I mean always behind. I have a very layed back personality, and that doesn't help. I work kind of slow, but I'm thorough. My preceptor would sit on the computer, or help someone else out while I was literally drowning and she knew it. I tried training with other nurses, and there wasn't much difference. I guess I just have a hard time standing up for myself. My nerves were just so shot. I wasn't sleep well, or eating well. I always thought, well tomorrow would be a better day, and it was just as hectic as the last if not worse. After 16 weeks, not even out of orientation I quit. Now I'm scared that I'm gonna have a hard time finding another full time job. Next week, will be a month since my last day. I've put in about 5 applications. I worked at a group home before I graduated as a hab-tech, and they hired me back part-time basically just to look after the LPN, and sign Dr.'s orders and such. It doesn't bring enough hours to survive off of. I want my next job to be the right job. I just wish I knew what my niche was. I feel better though, knowing that I'm not alone. I'm not the only one who's first job didn't work out. I just pray that God would open up the right job for me. I'll also pray for those of you in the same situation.

[Cfitz]

I'm sorry there are others like us out there, but I am glad we are not alone. Nursing is a TOUGH job! I am also very laid back in my demeanor, and that has not translated well to keeping up with a very trying, fast-paced schedule. That's why I'm praying I can find a nursing job at a physician's office. NOT that offices can't be insanely busy - I know they can - but it's just different. It's more my pace.

[AddieRN]

I totally agree with you Cfitz, my demeanor is to laid back for floor nursing. I would love to find a job in a physician's office. They can be busy, but I know I can handle the pace. Both experiences that I had during nursing school were positive experiences. I loved it. Finding a job in one is the tough part. The couple of offices hiring in my area aren't looking for RNs, but LPNs. I'm keeping my fingers crossed though.

[I_Scream]

To Cfitz and AddieRN.. I was recently hired in another hospital and will be starting this December. Though nervous, I have reaffirmed my commitment to become the nurse that I did want to be in the first place. Maybe this time I'll be tougher, and will be able to handle everything with a whole new outlook towards nursing. We are definitely not alone, although most of the time it feels like it, doesn't it? It can get depressing, even embarrassing! In my previous workplace, I have also heard many new graduates quit after a couple of months because of our very same reason. The transition is tougher than we expected, even if we expected the worst! That's why I think a good orientation program is very necessary. Some hospitals just throw new graduates into hot water.. Just like eggs, we need tempering when changing from cool to hot liquid, or else we turn into scrambled lumpy eggs and not a smooth mixture!

I've also thought of doing physician offices. But then after being unemployed for a while, I was thinking about my future and where I really want to be years from now. I still envision myself up the ranks as a competent nurse.. and I guess the only way to go is to really suck up med/surg or any acute care experience first. And if I want to relocate someday, an experience in acute care will benefit me too in finding another job.

I'd really want to keep in touch with you guys! you can PM me anytime.. maybe we can facebook or something. hehe!

[AddieRN]

How long were you unemployeed before finding your new job I Scream?

Next week will be a month for me, although I do have my part time job I took on last week working in a group home setting for MR/DD adults. I worked there for almost 3 years while in nursing school. I love working with that population. I'll get very few hours from it unfortunately.

I've put in 4 different apps at 2 different hospitals in my area. Three were for med-surg units and the other for a step-down unit. I have had zero calls from any of them! I've even had a couple of friends put in good words for me, lol. I'm trying to get back into the hospital setting. I want to do at least a year in a med-surg or acute care area. The thought of returning to the hosital makes my stomach do flips lol, but I need to stay positive and not let this last experience bring me down. I know I have what it takes to be a great RN. I hope with my next experience I'll know what to look for in a potential employer. I also to hope to have more of a "tough it out" attitude lol.

I wish you all the best with your new job I Scream. We all do need to stay in touch. I don't have Facebook, but I do have Myspace. PM me.

[Cfitz]

I, too, am thinking I need to jump into a med-surg position instead of going straight into a physician's office job. I need to learn skills. I need EXPERIENCE! The hospital is not where I want to be forever, but it's the best place to learn everything a nurse needs to know including time-management (my biggest challenge), prioritization, nursing skills, etc. I think my ultimate goal (at least right this second, haha) is school nursing. I will need at least a year experience to even be considered for that though.

Here's hoping we all are in a much better place at this time next year. I_Scream - I wish you the very best in your new position! I think you'll do great. You know more what to expect now and you can really be prepared. Addie, you and I are both seeking a job at one of the worst possible times - bad economy and holidays - not good! But hey, I know there is something out there that is right for us. We just need to be patient and have faith.

I_Scream, I am on facebook as Christy Fitz - look me up!

[AddieRN]

My one question is, how do you respond when people like family and friends ask you how your job is going? That's one thing I'm struggling with. I'm like well....and I go through this long story about why it wasn't a good fit. In so many ways I want to say it's none of thier business! lol, but I'm to nice to do that.

I agree with you Christy it's the worst time to be looking for a job, but I'm keeping the faith lol.

[Cfitz]

I'm having the exact same problem. When I say "I'm no longer working on the birthing center" they all say "Ohhhhh, really? Why? It was such a great thing for you!" or something like that. I'm SO tired of it. Now I just say "I can't sleep during the day so nights didn't work out." But inevitably the next question is "so where are you working now?". Uh... nowhere. Then I get the pity look. That's the worst.

No one is hiring in my city - and I'm thinking this is the way it is in much of the country. Let's just keep praying that something presents itself to us soon!

[I_Scream]

Hahah same here! It's painful to answer those questions. Sometimes, I even try to avoid them altogether. You can't explain the situation to everyone! and it kills me to look at them and see through them and think that maybe they think Im a loser or a quitter, etc etc. Well, the quitter part IS true. hehe. but still it feels embarrassing! especially that everyone had high expectations of me! I sometimes blame myself for quitting from that job, maybe, what if, coulda woulda shoulda.. but at this point, theres no place for regret and maybe I'll just suffer all the consequences..

My mom would tell me before I quit, "oh dont worry about what theyll say. they dont help you when your working your *** off there!"

[AddieRN]

I get the exact same responses, "Oh so where are you working now?" or just "Oh" or they don't really say anything at all. The only people that I find that don't seem to judge me for quitting are my husband, my parents, my husband's aunt (who is a nurse), and a family friend also (nurse). No one knows what this stressful job is like unless they've been there.

I just couldn't keep doing something that I was unhappy at. I know I'll find that nursing job that suits me. This is my calling, the only thing I've ever wanted to do. This is all I've wanted since I was 15. It feels good knowing that I'm not alone, that there are other new nurses out there going through a similar situation. We'll find something, it might take a while. We'll be the successful nurses we've always wanted to be, it just takes time.

[Cfitz]

Thanks Addie! Keep up that positive thinking. I'm thinking positively as well. Something will come through, I know it will. It's a horrible time to be looking, but I do believe something will come through. I'll be patient if you will!

[I_Scream]

My mom, dad, and sisters completely understand me and accept my decision. In fact, my mom was the one who told me BEFORE I decided to quit and was still afraid that I was going to make a mistake, "you are young. You have the privilege to make mistakes. But you have to make a decision and stand by it. People will raise their eyebrows, but you can cope with it. People can say things but why, are they there to take you off your stress at work??! we are to support your decision. Go!"

But of course it's still hard to face to other people's questions. "Oh so you're not there anymore? Was it really hard?" Sometimes I just shut up and don't answer anymore.. I hate explaining already~ and I just let them say or think whatever they want.. who knows where we will be 5, 10 years from now.. we might just have retreated backwards to get a stronger velocity to leap forward..

hang in there guys!

Im starting my new job this Monday!