I am starting my pre-reqs this fall toward my ADN. I have a previous BA, so I will only have to take six pre-req classes before applying to clinicals. The thing is, while I am very excited about going back to school, I am also having emotional issues about leaving my kids. I have two little boys, ages 3 and 1. For a year and a half, I've been a stay-at-home mom; but we really need an additional income, and I want a career that is stable, secure, rewarding and pays well. That's where nursing comes in!
I keep telling myself that I am going back to school not only for myself, but also for my family. I know it will benefit my little boys, too. Right now, we live paycheck to paycheck, and we are really outgrowing our 2-bedroom townhome. If we don't add an income to our family, I don't see things changing.
Is anyone else also going into nursing not only for themselves, but also to improve life for their children/family members? This is going to be a driving force for me while I'm in school -- my little boys. I don't want to leave them to focus on school, and yet it is imperitive that I DO, for their sakes.
I think I am also feeling guilty that I desire to go back to school for my own sake, you know? My other degree and jobs thereafter were not fulfilling, nor did they pay worth anything. I feel excited about getting into a field that allows me to help people and be paid decently at the same time. I also just feel like I need to do this for myself. But for some reason, as a mom, that desire makes me feel guilty. I just hope my little boys don't think they are not enough for me or that I've "left" them to be at school, you know? That's not true, but nursing is also FOR them because I can make their lives better in the long run.... oh, I guess I'm rambling! It's just the "mom" in me trying to talk things out. Any input? Thanks!
Being a 32.9 yo male with no kids or any experience with toddlers here's my input:
Not only will you have a well paying, stable, fulfilling job... You're kids might just pick up on some important values...like following dreams while maintaining responsibility, perseverance and independance.
If you stayed with you're kids 24x7; they might grow up to be needy and spoiled.:wink2:
I have struggled with this same issue myself, my daughters are 3 1/2 and 1 1/2. I am getting ready to start the ADN program this fall. I think that you want to be sure that this is what you want to do and then go for it if it is. Children are amazingly adaptive. My oldest sits beside me on her own chair and colors, if I say something to her she says "shhhh, mommy, I'm doing my homework." I do take mini-breaks to play with the girls, something they want to do like chalking, building blocks, or reading a book. And I also have special 'mommy and the girls days' where we go and spend fun time, like a trip to the water park in town, or an afternoon at the mall or city zoo, or we even have spa night with pedicures and manicures. Sometimes, I am so tired but I know that especially my oldest looks forward to these dates all week, and it inspires me to keep it up. I can tell you it's not easy, and not something to be jumped into lightly. But if it is your passion, then you can do it. It will make you and your children happy in the long run.
I think it's very difficult to make it these days on one income unless you have a SO who's making a ton of money and there's some guarantee they will always have the job, their health, etc.
Having survived 2 layoffs at my company, I see that there are no guarantees of employment in many situations. Working with a young mother of 2 little boys whose seemingly healthy 41-year-old husband took ill one night and died during surgery the next day in April, I see there are no guarantees of health.
I think it's wise to prepare yourself for employment....as a mom who worked on a BS in Management while my kids were young teens, I can see the flip side of this coin. I wished I had gotten my education while they were younger before they were real aware of what was going on....we struggled financially; I missed being with them during these very important years; and they sometimes saw mom more stressed than not about school (not sure how great of an example THATwas!!:roll )....
I don't know that there's a BEST time once you have children...since you often have to work around your school's self-imposed schedule and will always have work to do outside of your and often your childrens' school hours, your education will always somewhat interfere with your family life.
If I have a vote, I vote you do you it now if you have the support you need with your kids and childcare and know they will be safe and loved while you're pursuing this option that will give you job flexibility, financial rewards, and fulfillment.
I haven't read any of the other responses yet but I can say... Yes, I feel guilty. Not because I'm leaving my kids..... but because I'm actually doing this for myself....
My husband makes enough for me to stay home with all 3 kids and live comfortably. So a part of me feels guilty because I really don't have to do this....But I want to, and I know in the end it will all be worth it!
But FWIW.... even if a part of you is doing it for yourself... imagine how good that will make YOU feel.... and how YOU feel is really going to reflect on your children, your husband, and your family feels and works together...
I guess that's what I keep telling myself to keep my motivations high...
Also the fact that ever since I've applied to go back to school, those annoying nightmares of me not completing something (usually an assignment, late to class, forgot my book etc) have stopped! 10 friggin years of these awful nightmares and now they have completely stopped!
I just know that there was something missing in my life, and now I'm going to fulfill that hole, and my world around me will be much happier!
Hi there, so many of us resonate your same feelings of guilt. But you know what, with a small sacrifice think of it this way, when you are older and those kids have baseball games/football games and what not, you will have the option of making enough money to work per diem and make it to those special events instead of being locked down on a 40-50 hour job still just to make ends meet (anyone see that Oprah show on living on minimum wage). Sickening. Anyhow,...I have a 2 year old and many of the triage nurses I work with went through school with small kids and I hear the same thing over and over. Do it now when they are little and don't remember that you are/were gone so you can be present for when they do remember those things. Which is why I am agressively pursuing my second career as well......your intentions make sense and follow through, it will be worth it in the end!!!
First off, I don't think we should ever feel guilty for going back to school. It's tough, but I think it's good for our children to see that instead of ignoring the issue (such as not having the money, etc) we're doing something about it.
I had been thinking about nursing for awhile. But going back to school was always something I'd do "one day". Ya know, after both kids were well into school, etc. Well one day came when I was on one of my mom's message boards and a woman posted that her husband had suddenly died. They have small children. He wasn't sick, but just a sudden death that comes out of nowhere. I realized then that if it were to happen to me, we'd be in serious financial trouble. I applied at the local community college shortly after that day.
Everyone can sit there and say "Well, you would get something from life insurance". Well no matter how large the life insurance sum is....it will eventually run out. I have retail management to fall back on but it will not support an adult and two kids. Not to mention the hours....the headache....it's really not a pretty picture.
And I'm doing this for myself. I want to be able to say "I'm a nurse" when someone asks what I do for a living. Not that I work for a retail chain. I want to be able to help sick people- not be screamed at by customers because there's a product out of stock and NM that I don't even have anything to do with the ordering!
Dh has landed a pretty decent job. Well he had one before, a few years ago but was laid off, called back, laid off again. The last layoff lasted longer then usual so he was forced to find another job....one that paid way less then what we needed but still a job. But both of us want more out of our lives then living paycheck to paycheck. I've been told money's not everything but when you're barely keeping your head above water, money is everything. Thankfully we are not at that point anymore but if anything big were to go wrong, we'd struggle big time.
Specializes in ED, ICU, MS/MT, PCU, CM, House Sup, Frontline mgr.
I've been told money's not everything but when you're barely keeping your head above water, money is everything. Thankfully we are not at that point anymore but if anything big were to go wrong, we'd struggle big time.
:yeahthat: And your kids will think so too as they grow up with nothing. I am one of those former kids. So I completely ignore people who make that statement unless they are referring to the fact that money cannot buy happiness or love. But those of us who need money to pay for the basics and things beyond the basics that we will enjoy, we know money can at least do that! :)
I made the sacriffice of going to school and working full time as I took care of my small child as a single mother. By the time I started clinicals I was overwhelmed and the guilt of not having anytime for my daughter drove me wild. I then made the ultimate decision to sent her to the Carribean for the last two years while I finished. The pressure of school and work, most importantly misssing my baby girl seemed like a never ending nightmare.
My daughter came back home two days ago right after I took a week cruising...I graduated NURSING SCHOOL in May AND PASS THE BOARD in July! The cruise was my gift to myself for surving nursing school.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Do this while you can! It will all work out at the end! I am a living proof!
I made the sacriffice of going to school and working full time as I took care of my small child as a single mother. By the time I started clinicals I was overwhelmed and the guilt of not having anytime for my daughter drove me wild. I then made the ultimate decision to sent her to the Carribean for the last two years while I finished. The pressure of school and work, most importantly misssing my baby girl seemed like a never ending nightmare.
My daughter came back home two days ago right after I took a week cruising...I graduated NURSING SCHOOL in May AND PASS THE BOARD in July! The cruise was my gift to myself for surving nursing school.
There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Do this while you can! It will all work out at the end! I am a living proof!
By the time I started clinicals I was overwhelmed and the guilt of not having anytime for my daughter drove me wild. I then made the ultimate decision to sent her to the Carribean for the last two years while I finished.
How weird is that. I sure wrote a lot more than that quote. Sorry for the confusion, but I am still trying to work this thread thing. I thought Nursing school was confusing. I must have messed up somehow, luckily not in nursing school. Sadly, I am way too tired to undo the damage to the thread... maybe another time!
From reading all of these threads makes me feel so much better. I am a new mom and work full time (2 days at home & 3 days in the office) and I am trying to finish my pre-reqs to get into the nusring program. I am so worried that I do all this and dont get into the program. Hopefully it will all work out
Hey, Mom....Feel guilty NO MORE!!!!!!!!!!!!
maybe another time!
KungFuFtr
297 Posts
Being a 32.9 yo male with no kids or any experience with toddlers here's my input:
Not only will you have a well paying, stable, fulfilling job... You're kids might just pick up on some important values...like following dreams while maintaining responsibility, perseverance and independance.
If you stayed with you're kids 24x7; they might grow up to be needy and spoiled.:wink2:
Please pardon my lack of propur gramur