A letter to my clinical instructor..

[mlisk589]

Just a preface to the readers...Today was the absolute WORST day of clinical I have ever experienced. Here is my "letter" I wrote to my instructor to let off steam, don't worry I'm not going to send it.

Never have I ever felt so badly because of what someone had to say to me. I am sorry, there is a correct way to deal with problems. Insulting someone so badly that they choke back their tears while feeding their patient lunch and breaking down on the way home is not the way to do it. I apologize if I am the kind of person who does things in a different way than you. I apologize that maybe you do not like the way I compose myself or do things. I am a person of integrity, a person who cares, a person who never would want to cause pain to another. I always question everything, even sometimes myself, to be sure I do not make an avoidable mistake. I apologize if to you that seems like I go too slow or forget what I am doing. I am testing myself mentally to be sure everything is right. I believe in doing things the right way. I will not apologize for being a second semester student who still has doubts. If there are others at this same point without doubts, I am ready and waiting to see the day they are so sure they are right that they don't bother to check themselves and make a big mistake. I am sorry that I don't have the memory to retain every single drug I've every given and all the things about it. I am learning. You are supposed to be helping me grow and help me towards my dream. You have not even come close to that. You have made me feel so terrible that I question my dream. "Can I really handle being a nurse? I only had one patient and everything was rough..how am I going to do this..? I'm not cut out for this" Thanks for the confidence boost, I really appreciate it. I will not compromise who I am as a person to try to meet your standards that I do not agree with. No, I am not always the most assertive person, but I am assertive when I need to be. I get my work done, I handle it in an appropriate way. If the wound care nurse is finishing her consult sheet, I am not going to rip the chart out of her hands when I only have a minute's worth of charting left to do, especially when she was as kind to me as she was. I am not going to give my patient a mean tone when they do not want to do something. I will talk to them, convince them that it is good for them, and proceed. No, it is not the fastest way to get things done, but it is how I do it. I don't believe in putting others down and making them feel bad for my own benefit...Which it seems you have done, which it seems you thrive off of.

..So there. Just wondering if anyone ever feels the same way

[tnbutterfly - Mary, BSN]

Hang in there. It sounds like you are going to make a very concientious and compassionate nurse.

[MiaKeaRN]

Your heart is in the right place. Trust me, I think we have all felt the same way at one time or another with school. Don't let it defeat you....keep your head high and your eye on the the light at the end of that tunnel!

Hugs. :icon_hug:

[XB9S, BSN, MSN, EdD, RN, APN]

Whenever I'm upset or have had a run in at work I usually write something down in a journal, it may well be in the form of a letter addressed to whoever but it helps me reflect on whether the comments were justified and what I can do to improve. It helps me, you sound like you are going to be just fine, you are thinking about your practice and how you can do your best. You will make an excellent nurse

[eldragon]

I can relate to your story.

I'm out of school now, but had a teacher/clinical instructor kind of like yours.

She lived to fail students and succeeded in failing over half the class.

I'd like to say it made me a better person, or a stronger person, but all it really did was make me mad, and wondering why - if you work hard and do the right things - someone often has the power to ruin it.

I made it through school, and you will, too, if you keep your nose to the grindstone and never let her see you sweat, so to speak.

Hang in there!

[eccentricRN]

Dear OP,

Do you feel a little better getting that off your chest?? I hope so... sorry you had a bad experience... I think nearly everyone has had that clash with one instructor or another... do your best & continue to provide excellent care to your pts... good luck & hang in there... there will be a day when this will be all behind you!!!:icon_hug::flowersfo

[BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN]

I think your letter was very well thought out. It sounds like you recognize your weaknesses, and know the areas in which you need to improve on.

I do not know your clinical instructor (at least I don't think I do), but I have encountered a few who do believe that their way is the only way. The reality is, unless you are 100% sure that there is another way, you're going to have to deal with her way.

Assertiveness (and getting the hold of the chart) is a huge issue with my students as well. The way I explained it to my students is that there is no reason you are not entitled to the chart. To me, if you stand there timidly waiting for someone to ask you if you need the chart, you'd still be there right now. You are just as important as any member of the healthcare team. I only wish my instructors taught me to be more assertive. It took me many years to grow a pair of you know whats .

One of the things I am trying to impress upon my students is that we (the instructors) are not the only ones who are 'on your backs'. Doctors, other nurses, managers, staff educators, JCAHO surveyors, and even patients (who want to know what meds you are giving them) will constantly be testing you, questioning you ad letting you know that they are not satisfied with your performance. The reality is, it will not end after you graduate. You will constantly be learning.

What separates the good students form the not-so-good students... the ones who 'get it' vs. the ones who 'don't get it'. The thing is, if you're not getting it now, how can you progress to the next semester! The expectations are higher next semester, the bar has to be raised. I am not saying that you are 'not getting it'. If this was one bad day (which we all have...we're human), then don't sweat it. But if this is a pattern, then this is a problem.

Listen to your instructors criticisms. Learn from them. Choke it up to a bad day.

[justme1972]

i have a clinical instructor that I personally think is mean to patients.

We had a 12-hour post-c-section ask for a shower chair...the clinical instructor told me to go in and tell the patient that we didn't have one....and we did. She said this with a snarl on her face.

I remember having my c-section....12-hour post-op I was still extremely drugged, my legs were weak and I couldn't walk long distances because of my leg weakness.

I felt for that girl...I knew how she felt, and if it were up to me, she would have GOT that chair.

[WDWpixieRN, RN]

I think many of us have been where you are. I prefer not to mention specifics lest someone else see it, but there have been several instances where I felt like I should just throw in the towel because apparently I am an absolute idiot. But inside, I knew better. Not because I am anywhere near ready to be a nurse at this point, but because I know I can be taught and given time, can do as well as most at anything a human being is able to do.

Hang in there...suddenly one day you will be where I am sitting tonight....finished with your last final (which you passed) and wondering how you did this?!?! It's a terrifically amazing and terrifying feeling!!

Best wishes!!

[jjjoy, LPN]

What separates the good students form the not-so-good students... the ones who 'get it' vs. the ones who 'don't get it'. The thing is, if you're not getting it now, how can you progress to the next semester! The expectations are higher next semester, the bar has to be raised.

What gets me, though, is that often students aren't assisted in 'getting it' nor are they given guidance in how to progress. It's just sink or swim. Hopefully, you get it right off. But if you don't, well, maybe you'll get another chance. But instead of coaching the student, giving on-going feedback, teaching techniques, etc, in nursing school, it often just seems that you're just lucky to have another chance to sink or swim.

I thought nursing school would teach me how to do nursing skills, like swimming classes teach one how to swim. But with nursing school, it's often a few simulations and then you have to prove yourself. Wouldn't that be like showing a person swim strokes on dry land and then tossing them into deep water? And then criticizing the student if they flounder? At some schools, it seems that the only difference between nursing school and being a new nurse is that in nursing school, there's a lifeguard to jump in if you start drowning, but as a new nurse, there's not that (minimal) back-up. Sure, people can and do learn that way. But the point of formal education is to make the process smoother, more consistent and to allow more people to be successful... to allow those who *do* need more than just a sink-or-swim experience to learn the desired skills. Not that anyone should pass without mastering the material, but education is to assist students in mastering the material, not just in giving them an arena to prove their mastery.

I know it's a bit off topic... but kinda related...

[lady_chrome1]

I am a final semester student and I know EXACTLY how you feel. Hang in there...it will be worth it in the end.

[deleern]

I had an instructor that i thought was tough hard and hard to understand. But i never complained when she drilled me and she thought i had left something out she would tell me to find it and email her. by the end of the semester I had a woulderful resourse. I put all that information in a 3 ring binder and would bring it to clinicals. After clinicals she would quiz us on what we were studing in the class room setting.

Today we are close friends and see each other often. she taught me so much in terms of Critical thinking. Some day when clinicals are over you are going to say thank you.

Never never forget you are working under her licence. that is a huge responsibility and you are not the only one in her class.