A letter to my clinical instructor..

[mlisk589]

Just a preface to the readers...Today was the absolute WORST day of clinical I have ever experienced. Here is my "letter" I wrote to my instructor to let off steam, don't worry I'm not going to send it.

Never have I ever felt so badly because of what someone had to say to me. I am sorry, there is a correct way to deal with problems. Insulting someone so badly that they choke back their tears while feeding their patient lunch and breaking down on the way home is not the way to do it. I apologize if I am the kind of person who does things in a different way than you. I apologize that maybe you do not like the way I compose myself or do things. I am a person of integrity, a person who cares, a person who never would want to cause pain to another. I always question everything, even sometimes myself, to be sure I do not make an avoidable mistake. I apologize if to you that seems like I go too slow or forget what I am doing. I am testing myself mentally to be sure everything is right. I believe in doing things the right way. I will not apologize for being a second semester student who still has doubts. If there are others at this same point without doubts, I am ready and waiting to see the day they are so sure they are right that they don't bother to check themselves and make a big mistake. I am sorry that I don't have the memory to retain every single drug I've every given and all the things about it. I am learning. You are supposed to be helping me grow and help me towards my dream. You have not even come close to that. You have made me feel so terrible that I question my dream. "Can I really handle being a nurse? I only had one patient and everything was rough..how am I going to do this..? I'm not cut out for this" Thanks for the confidence boost, I really appreciate it. I will not compromise who I am as a person to try to meet your standards that I do not agree with. No, I am not always the most assertive person, but I am assertive when I need to be. I get my work done, I handle it in an appropriate way. If the wound care nurse is finishing her consult sheet, I am not going to rip the chart out of her hands when I only have a minute's worth of charting left to do, especially when she was as kind to me as she was. I am not going to give my patient a mean tone when they do not want to do something. I will talk to them, convince them that it is good for them, and proceed. No, it is not the fastest way to get things done, but it is how I do it. I don't believe in putting others down and making them feel bad for my own benefit...Which it seems you have done, which it seems you thrive off of.

..So there. Just wondering if anyone ever feels the same way

[southernbelle08]

I know how you're feeling, hon. :icon_hug: I believe we're stronger for surviving it and not losing sight of our goal. Hang in there, and best of luck to you!!

[Annie09]

Been there, felt that. Reach out to those around you who are receptive. The one who tried to "eat" me, was the director of our program. She didn't listen to what I said, or was trying to say, she only criticized me incessantly. I noticed my patient's care began to suffer a bit because I needed her input, but she made herself purposefully "unavailable". Now when I begin a new rotation, I always assess the staff. Who are my allies, who isn't going to give me the "time of day?" I gravitate to the ones willing to assist, and thank them profusely later. Learning to swim with the sharks without being eaten is a learned skill. Unfortunately, welcome to the real world.

[chevyv, BSN, RN]

I am often left wondering why some nurses choose to become instrustors. Most of us have had at least one of those types that seem to want to sacrifice rather than nurture. I'm now in 3rd semester and have come to realize that these instructors have a huge amount of stuff on their plate! You have one patient, she has 8 or ?. Everyone of those students need something at the same time as another. She has to juggle so much to make sure the pts get what they need and the students as well. You couldn't pay me enough to do their job!

That by no means excuses the ones that don't help us along. But I've learned to be up front with my instructors. If she's grilling me over meds and I'm drawing a blank, I let her know that I'm not sure and I'll get right back to her. This lets her move on and gives me a moment to better prepare (that was 2nd semseter). It's difficult when you have a pt on 10 meds and the instructor doesn't want to hear that this med is an antihypertensive, she wants to hear its a beta andrenergic blocker that acts to block the fight or flight response. That one was drilled into me for life!

Sometimes I wonder if they realize that they all want something different. They all have their little pet peeves that the student had better figure out out else! We all want to shine as students, but sometimes you just want to fly under the radar. Either way, your not alone.

It might not hurt to have a chat with your instructor to let her know your plan to overcome the issues she is seeing. Instructors seem to sometimes know some of the things that we will be struggling with in the upcoming semesters. She'll see that your willing to grow and sometimes that's a little painful. Good luck to you.

[Kynlee]

I Can Relate Very Well To How You Are Feeling! I Had An Incident On Monday With An Instructor Yelling At Me In Front Of Everyone In The Class When Performing Something In The Lab For The First Time That We Had Not Even Done Before And For That Matter, We Didn't Even Go Over It.

You Will Make A Great Nurse And Don't Let Anyone Make You Think Otherwise. I Have To Say This To Myself At Times. You Seem Very Caring And Thorough And In My Opinion Should Not Be Condemned For That.....

Keep Your Chin Up And I Will Be Praying For You!

[Abishag]

i have a clinical instructor that I personally think is mean to patients.

We had a 12-hour post-c-section ask for a shower chair...the clinical instructor told me to go in and tell the patient that we didn't have one....and we did. She said this with a snarl on her face.

I remember having my c-section....12-hour post-op I was still extremely drugged, my legs were weak and I couldn't walk long distances because of my leg weakness.

I felt for that girl...I knew how she felt, and if it were up to me, she would have GOT that chair.

I'm sorry but I have to say, WTH?! What was her rediculous reason for refusing? This woman should have been brought a chair. I think I would have said something to my CI and brought the chair. This is part of the reason I want to be a L&D nurse...to make up for the bad ones and aspire to be like the good ones.

:flmngmd:

[Justlearning]

Oh my God! You must have my instructor. Are all nursing school instructors the same? I want you to feel better but I fear you will have doubt when you graduate. I am a fourth semester student and I am scared to death because I feel I have not been trained adequately to go out and practice nursing in a safe manner.